I was feeling a tad worried going into Fair Hill...I really only started digging in to prep about two and a half weeks out. I realized the week before, I had yet to ride my dressage test at all on Tillie let alone some of the movements...nor had I stadium jumped her.
Ummm unprepared much?
Attempting to prep for braiding all by myself!
But our jump prep felt great and our final dressage lesson the day before felt really good, relaxed and consistent even through the test.
I did it! Although not beautiful, I did not melt down
I got her all cleaned up and braided...which if any of you remember is a big deal for me lol. I am not a good braider and in the past would get about 3 braids in before losing it and calling someone for help. So was super proud I did it!
Tucked in and ready to go
Tillie the next morning was really offended I left her in all night...so lesson learned, we will try next time putting her in the smaller paddock with Kiss and hope she keeps her braids in. Because her angst lead to some major issues in our dressage test...like 44.5 points of issues to be exact.
Yea not great. Especially since our flatwork has greatly improved. You can see she just was persnickety and super tense....and it led to me getting flustered. The head flicking...well not ideal and I believe to know the cause and working towards fixing it:
I will say, I didnt feel horrible when I saw a few other riders in my open division with similar scores (I mean we were dead last, but at least we didnt canter out of the ring like that one time though). I had Ryan Wood, Jenny brannigan and similar quality riders in my division...OH and Icabod crane. You know Phillip Dutton's previous mount.
F- ME.
We could have used this relaxation in dressage
So new focus...dressage boot camp for a week (currently happening). I was feeling really frustrated and resolved to get this figured out because I KNOW we can do better and more than that we have to do better. I was however happier with her canter and trot lengthenings over previous tests...even if the score didnt reflect it.
But on to jumping!
Tillie warmed up amazingly well. Got all the distances, leads and was forward but would rebalance and jumping like a beast. I opted to go in early and felt ready. The course had a lot more combinations than I was expecting, which were a huge issue for us last season we competed. So I prayed our last jump lesson paid off and we would keep the rails up.
So jump one...we pull a rail. Not exactly how Id like to start...and left lead, not sure where that went?! But I will fess up to the first rail. I got too impatient and didnt keep her balanced...I dropped her before.
But all the hard stuff she nailed and was adjustable and responsive...through the second line however she felt pretty darn heavy. She did respond to be, but I had what felt like 25 lbs in both reins.
We pulled the last oxer's rail as well...as you can see in the video, she got low and I didnt hang out long enough in the turn to get her back so we basically came in low and hot.
But we survived and at this point still in the qualification for waredaca...so XC it is.
Out we went...I had the goal to get as close to time as possible knowing full well I tend to run her too slow.
She came out strong. Like way too strong. So I had to keep her in check more than i would have liked the first few fences.
You can see here her pulling my arms off down the hill...and i was thinking oh god if this is the whole course I might die. But knew after jump 4 we had a downhill to a good uphill stretch to let her have at it and get out that pent up energy.
It worked and rest of the jumps came nice and steady out of a good distance...without always adding!
So not exactly the first outing I had anticipated. BUT there was a lot to like despite the frustrating lows. At least coming out of this i know what we need work on. We at least got the qualification needed for waredaca so 3 more to go!
A few people recommended trying perfect prep or something before dressage...if anyone has suggestions on show day help for relaxation please let me know!
Well hello again blogger friends (if I still even have any left). I went on a bit of a hiatus for so many reasons, but in a nutshell I was burnt out. I changed barns, started up my own lesson program, got Tillie to prelim, Tillie got hurt, I moved in with my (then newer) significant other while paying off some significant divorce debt., my job became way more intrusive and the flexibility I once enjoyed was slipping away...can you say WAY too much on my plate?!
Yes I have a pet pig now (Meet Penelope)
I did it to myself. Rather than stop and smell the wilting roses and process all the change, I powered through pretending I was ruling it all. When really it was slowly chipping away at me. I felt constantly overwhelmed and feeling like I needed more time in a day. I knew things had to change, but I didn't know what it was that had to give or what I felt ok with giving up.
Isn't she just the cutest?
My horses had to take a back seat for a while and that really got me down. I work very hard to pay for them (we all know they aren't cheap even when just hanging out). I felt like I was doing all the work and busting my butt feeding shifts to make extra money...try to teach despite the crappy weather every. single. weekend. All while not having the time to enjoy or ride my horses. I even started listing both for sale to see which one would sell to try and cut back...and I am SO glad that didn't happen.
But I really got into cooking though...
Despite the time off not being by choice, it did myself and my mares a world of good.
I found a new job that is only 10 minutes from home and 20 from the farm...with flexibility and work I REALLY love. I didn't realize how my last job was eating away at me. I fought so hard to stay for so long (like my marriage) because I thought it was a good job for me. And it is a great job for someone and a great company...but it no longer fit ME and what was good for me.
Don't worry Goose is still around, all grown up and ornery AF
The week I started my new job, I went down to for my annual visit to Kentucky for the big 5* Land Rover Three Day Event and it brought me back to life. I swear that was not intentionally planned!! And my trainer Dom Schramm was riding in it - so I was THRILLED to go and cheer him on. All I can say is the trip brought me back to life in regards to my motivation with my horses.
Kiss (my 5yr old Ottb) schooling on Tuesday
Tillie (10 yrs old now wtf) schooling Wednesday
I fully intended this season to just plod along and come what may come...but I felt inspired and realized I can do this again. It will take time, but I have it in me. I have the support system, the coolest horses (I was taking for granted) and now the time to be able to do it! (heck yea no more two hour daily commute!). I have come back home and literally hit the ground running with both girls...being aware to take it day by day and not burn myself out again.
However the entries are flying and my bank account draining...
Anyway...I am hoping to get back to blogging to document this season. I have a few, ok A LOT to catch up on and fill everyone in - if anyone still follows me that is. See you all around!
I recently had a cross country lesson with Dom this past weekend. Overall, I walked away extremely excited but can't deny there were some hard moments that opened my eyes to how hard this sport can be. Dom reassured me that there cant be growth without pushing the limits and that I shouldn't stress about where we struggled and that the good news is, her reaction is very typical of a green horse at the level...I just need to put on my own big girl riding pants and learn how to help her better.
Like this happened...maybe the dap on horseback can be a new in thing?
Upper level riders certainly make riding through those tricky combinations so easy, but what we don't usually see, is all the training it took to get a horse to that point that they can skip through the questions so smoothly. So it was nice to have the reassurance of Dom telling me this is all par for the course and I will start getting better at reacting quicker the more we do them.
I realize I have been incredibly spoiled to not have ever had a stop or run out on this horse. So this lesson where we had not just one, but a few was mostly due to my lack of knowing how to ride it and just not reacting quickly enough. I thought for sure after the first one, it would throw me off a bit more...but I was so excited about the recent bit change that it didn't deter me one bit.
OMG an actual uphill canter
So onto the bit update: I was practicing galloping Tillie last week which resulted in some not so fun moments including Tillie bolting, getting her head low and bucking when I would try to half halt. It isn't the most warm and fuzzy feeling in the world, and this issue with her has been a recurring one.
It also has been nagging at me. With our move up to Training, going faster needs to be able to happen out on XC, without all the fighting. Its been something I have been talking to Dom about and other trainers, which resulted in the conversation about having her vetted in case it was a pain related issue.
Locking on!
After her vet evaluation, we know we would like to try injections, but it is so mild that it this isn't 100% physical and its the dreaded training issue. At least that's good-ish news right?!
So Dom schooled Tillie for me a few weeks back and had some discussions with Tillie about the half halt. It means NOW, not in five strides and not lean more on my hands...when I say balance or rate yourself it means do it now.
So we can avoid jumps like this
After our galloping incident, I had a horsey friend suggest trying a different bit. Not necessarily a harsher one, but one that applies pressure differently than the Pelham since the Pelham tends to promote lower the head when that's the last thing we need.
Most horses raise their heads when they get hot...mine likes to get down. So after some research and asking around, the gag bit was what came up. I did even more research and looked up some videos of Clayton Fredericks using one with his 4* mare Be My Guest. Low and behold the mare tends to gallop a bit like Tillie tries to and this bit allows him to let her gallop like her natural way of going and set her up before fences without needing to fight with her the whole time.
I read a bit more about it here: http://www.horsenation.com/2012/06/07/a-bit-of-advice-gag-bits/
Yea, no more of this....taken this time last year
Dom was kind enough to let me borrow his (which my inner fan girl almost died when he said it was the one he used on Boly - the horse he just got 6th on in the FHI 2*) and left it with me to play with for a few days leading up to our XC lesson.
Right away, as soon as I took a spin around the track and windurra, I knew it was exactly what we needed. Tillie didn't lean on it at all...and when she would try to test it, all she could do was slightly root, but would quickly come back up when she caught herself in the mouth.
I was able to let her gallop and bring her back...for the first time I felt comfortable keeping my leg on.
All smiles even when going really fast
Dom was quite excited about the change too and was pretty impressed with how quickly I could get her back again.
So now onto the actual XC lesson!!!
Dom had us warm up first in the field inside the track. It was a blistery cold, wet and windy day so we knew it would be a good test for the new bit...also since Tillie had a light two days prior (one day off, one day of 20 ish minutes stretching).
He reminded me to use my turns to get good lines to the jumps, look sooner at my jumps and to not mess with our canter....find a rhythm and stay there. So he had us do a figure 8 exercise to sort of establish where we needed to be.
Once we warmed up, we put a few of the jumps together...Tillie just got a bit funny to the one table resulting in my losing one rein, but we got it together to keep going:
And youll see we had our first run out at the skinny...and let me tell you, it surprised me how large it was as I approached it, so wasn't all that surprised Tillie wasn't sure. Especially since we haven't xc schooled in quite a while.
So we circled back to school the Skinny:
Not the prettiest, but we made it happen.
So next we moved on to a ditch and skinny log...which apparently Tillie doesn't care about ditches anymore and just runs through them:
This run out was totally my error...I was too busy chuckling about the ditch to properly present this skinny, also with brush and quite large. Dom gave me a bit of a talkin to on this one saying I needed to sit down in my tack, widen my hands and not allow her a way out.
So we do it again with some flair:
Clearly it still makes her a bit anxious so her response is to speed up. Dom explained that this is a normal thing and her being green to them and having this reaction is pretty standard so we need to keep skinnies in the forefront of our training. Build some small ones at home in the ring - especially with brush and just do them every so often to keep them fresh.
Next we schooled the corner which I did better and keeping her in front of me even with her anxiety with it:
The next portion of the lesson was definitely the hardest xc combo we both have ever seen...and it certainly gave us some trouble, but it was quite the learning experience for us.
First attempt could have gone better if I was more prepared and didn't lean at my jump:
Second attempt I had to really ride and be scrappy to get her through it...which she basically crawled over the second jump - but we got it done and Dom said that it was the kind of ride that needed to happen:
So he had us come through in reverse and I apparently forgot how to ride all together:
But after a good butt kicking from Dom we went through the whole thing one final time, nicely and in a good place:
WHEW! Shockingly I wasn't super nervous about doing these...even after the trouble we had. But looking back at the videos I cant help but think mayyybe I just turned my brain off because I HATE down hill anything and these are awfully steep downhill!
We moved on next to another line of jumps to a skinny combo around to a half coffin to which Dom basically warned me about the run out and told me to not allow it to happen:
We didn't have a run out!!! woo!! But we didn't quite get the right half halt to the second jump so Dom had us do it again:
Basically, I had the right idea, but I rated my canter a bit too much and needed to keep my leg on and find a more even distance there.
Finally we moved on to the water complex:
Apparently Tillie ignores down banks too! Luckily it didn't phase her from remaining being locked onto the jump in the water but Dom sent us out to try again:
Which resulted in her taking a funny leap into the water again...lol so one more time:
We ended after this with Dom saying he is quite pleased with the progression...I expressed some of my own ability frustrations as well as my excitement for the rideability I now have in the gag.
Dom lectured a bit, saying its all learning and there wont always be pretty moments...but as long as we both learn from them is what counts. So here's to progress! Even when it isn't linear!
I have used this phrase a lot lately...and when things get tough my usual positive spin on things takes a turn for the south. It is hard to stay positive when things are not going your way. In more than just barn stuff, life has been tough.
But I do have the old saying...
Basically when shit hits the fan, you dont give up. You persevere. When everyone else would walk away, you stay and fight it out.
I need this reminder right now because I am feeling particularly down and out about my own personal riding capabilities right now.
Tillie meanwhile is quite happy....most of the time
Its one thing to know what is limiting you in regards to progress with your horse and their training level...you know, setting realistic expectations. Which I am notorious for putting the cart before the horse and getting wayyyyy too ahead of myself. However, I do think I have done a much better job this year keeping my expectations in check.
Like going into a training level event, but not give any shits about time
So where am I feeling the hardship?
I have not been one to back off a fence because it is big. I attribute much of that to my extremely courageous partner. Tillie and I have never had a refusal or run out - only 1x schooling xc and it was completely my fault. I feel incredibly fortunate to have such a forgiving horse in that way.
But where I am currently struggling is my own ability when it comes to setting Tillie up so she can get the best jump possible. I kid you not...I can't even jump a beginner novice fence without biffing a distance right now when just a short while ago we could own a training level stadium course smoothly and out of a forward rhythm.
Well we tried to learn how to gallop the other day....Tillie learned fast is fun while Mommy learned that we can go faster than the speed of light with steering being optional and half halting is no where in our definition
In short, it really sucks when the realization hits you that your own incompetence is hindering your progress. I get it. We all face the fact we have things to improve on and will forever be working on something. But I am without a doubt in an existential crisis of "what the fuck are you doing?!"
I can sit here and brag about how far we have come this year and the little things since that are better. But at the end of the day, my recent lessons have felt a bit redundant. No fault to Tillie at all. I know when Tillie is resistant and not cooperating and for a little bit there, she deserved that blame. She sort of kind of did turn into a fire breathing dragon when it got chilly suddenly, but we have since worked that out and the only person to blame is myself.
Yawn - Snooze - Boring says Tillie
OK, OK...I sound like I am being realllllly harsh on myself. Maybe I am. But I hate feeling like I pay for the same lesson more than once....and hate even more what my trainer must think when they repeat the same thing over and over again.
I understand the concept, but implementing it....well thats another story.
oh hayyyyyy
I havent felt this insecure in a while. Last time I did, we were in a rut...and maybe that is it: We are at another plateau ironing things out before a break through. At least I am hoping that is what it is.
Either way. It sucks. ANYONE that rides, I know can relate.
Hacking out is improving...unless is a colder day
Regardless of how hard I am on myself...I can honestly say that I am supremely excited for the leaps and bounds of progress Tillie has made even in these last few weeks when it felt like we werent. While she certainly has her issues and training needs, some newer changes have me quite excited about her future.
I was quite excited yesterday to be able to make it out for a ride at a decent ride after work. Despite the cold weather, which literally happened overnight, I was ready to get into our training regime and work on some homework. Not to mention, I was eager to try the new footing for myself!
I dont have any new photos to share unfortunately, so Ill just share some old ones for fun!
Tillie was fairly nice about getting tacked up...she hasnt been lately with her soreness and ulcer issues, but shockingly she wasnt really back sore at all! Still girthy but her ulcer meds should be here hopefully soon. We did some carrot stretches (with left over candy canes!) and got a few pops out from her neck. Today it was only stretching to the right we got them...most days its both sides.
Anyway, we marched down to the ring with purpose to join fellow blogger Emma and another barnmate on her greenie. Knowing Tillie hates the cold, I planned to let her walk and trot around for a bit on a looser rein until she settled in. I made a mental note to bring my quarter sheet and BOT back pad as well (I dont spoil her or anything).
This was my first ride on our new footing and couldnt wait to see if I felt a difference.
New footing!!!
It was a bit crunchy and starting to want to freeze, but I was really impressed that it still felt nice and bouncy and forgiving...the sand would have been as a hard as a rock. There is some deeper areas that provided some challenges later in our ride, but Ill touch on that later.
Starting out in the walk, Tillie really wanted to be quick...I tried not to fuss at all too much and decided to let it happen with it being so cold and just use circles and changing direction to monitor that. Pushing into trot she felt a bit tense through her body and was hesitant to turn off my outside aids, but she eventually gave in and started maintaining a nice rhythm.
After working on both sides I started putting her together in walk and established inside bend off my inside leg aids and thought about "catching" her with the outside. I took the opportunity to try to work on my own evenness as well. She worked well at the walk and while she wasnt totally relaxed as I would like, decided it didnt want to dwell too much.
Is this relaxed enough for you?
Pushing into trot we worked through the normal conversations and did some random figures and changing rein so she couldnt anticipate and started working into the forward and slower trot homework from our last dressage lesson. This all went quite swimmingly and she began to relax and offer to stretch when I allowed.
I decided it was time to ask for canter. Knowing it was the first canter of the ride tried to keep my expectations light and my own riding out of her way to let her warm up here. I got in pseudo half seat so my bottom lightly touched the saddle, put my hands forward and let her right lead canter just happen. I kept her on the 20 M circle for this. She offered a trot transition and I allowed so we changed the rein to do left lead and it started off just as nicely.....
I swear there is a nice canter in there some days.
...Until she went into the deeper footing in the corner. Her response was to brace and race. I did my best not to grab and put her on a smaller circle and let that do the work of suppling for me but Tillie has caught on to this trick and decided steering wasnt for her.
After a good 2-3 circles of establishing that NO TILLIE you MUST steer when there are this many horses in the ring, we came to trot and I prepared to try again. Well coming down to trot she reverted back to her greener days of holding her head and neck in the "im pretty and doing this whole on the bit thing" that is fake and there is NO contact there at all...but it looks like Im pulling on her because im trying to find some resemblance of weight in my reins.
Once I had at least something to work with, I tried for canter again to work on getting one that was more level headed. Once again it all was fine...until she caught site of the straight away and decided why not brace and head that way and build into a hand gallop...that sounds fun. NOT.
I had to use a one rein stop and kick the snot out of her with my outside aids since that is what she chose to ignore and after some protesting she came down to a walk. Took a minute here to reestablish contact and had to go back into trot work for a while since she wanted to do this choppy jiggy trot behind the contact and be cheeky with me like "Ohhh see I can go slow"
She produced some lovely trot work here after a few laps and was quite supple either direction, even left bend!
I knew I had to canter again though and get a quiet, SOFT canter before I called it quits so I started randomly asking for trot, canter trot and canter on a circle for a bit and back to trot.
She shockingly didnt get too expectant to canter but I just felt like we were out of sync. We werent clicking and I felt like transitions were full on in the 2 score range complete with giraffe mode and inverting.
can we go back to this night when we could canter outside of a circle without losing our brain?!
A few times in the ride, my trainer D's voice came into my head probably because Tillie has acted this way more in his lessons then with anyone else...but all I could hear was "nothings changed in a while, you need to do something to get a bigger response here..."
When walking her out to cool down she was still quite speedy...but at that point I didnt want to mess at all anymore or have any more arguments. I realized I got sucked into her antics already this ride and I felt really disappointed with myself. I have been really good lately about not getting so rattled, but this is the first ride in a long time it got to me.
I dont want to lose this magic!
I guess these rides are bound to happen...but I instantly feel helpless and like I shouldnt be riding unless in a lesson setting. I crave a dressage lesson so bad it puts me off wanting to ride again until I get one which is ridiculous. It doesnt help my last ride in the smaller ring wasnt particularly splendid either...even though that one I didnt get rattled as much it sorta caught up to me here.
Logically I can talk myself off the ledge, but emotionally I succumb to all the negativity. I realized by the time I got home, I have only been in 1 actual P lesson in a month between holidays and Tillie's shoe...and realized SHE has been the reason Ive had confidence and the cool calm go with the flow mentality lately.
I was contemplating missing this weekend to attend a local show, but I think after this ride it is apparent I need to make a visit with DR. P as I am calling her now.
Its hard to remember the fact that my first jump lesson with Tillie was less then a year ago. It was in an indoor when we could only ride 1-2x a week with the frozen ground...I also have to remember that, in the not so distant past, most rides where more "exciting" then not, even when we only flatted. They were riddled with a rushing and non-rhythmic trot, exuberance in the canter and just general over the top sass. The trot rhythm and tempo being the hardest thing for us.
Still trying out this double rein thing.
I say this to remind myself because I often get stuck in where we are now and feel defeated that progress isn't happening - at least not fast enough in my mind. While I am feeling a bit less excited at the moment in both Tillie's progress and my own, I must admit that being here in the land of boring is O.K.
Sure, we are not uphill enough yet...our canter isnt balanced all the time...she jumps too flat and from the shoulder, BUT at least at this point, we are doing these things with much less attitude and more understanding of our job and what is expected.
The only sass moment from our lesson...so things are 100% boring ;)
For Tillie, trying to get her to chill the fuck out and be boring has seemed to be my number one objective all along. It has caused me to ride very defensively and Tillie to get angry which starts a viscous cycle. I watch some of my videos and tear us both to shreds and hone in on every last bit of feedback we get to the point of agonizing over it. NOT GOOD and it really isnt helping me by doing this.
What I am currently agonizing over, yet again, is her jumping form over fences and her general way of going which has the tendency to be downhill. We had our weekly jump lesson with P and she remarked how quiet Tillie looked, but she was still jumping too flat and not really pushing like she should be.
Found this gem from last winter...yes its a bit over exaggerated and Tillie taking the long spot, but its a good example of the jumping flat and not round.
Instantly I get myself all worked up because who wants to have a horse that cant jump? I mean she jumps and is super willing (sometimes way too eager) but as an eventer you want a horse that jumps well and safely for both of your sake. Ill give her credit, she is athletic enough that shes gotten by at this point and clears fences fairly easily but we are only jumping max 2'11 right now...most days closer to 2'6 or 2'7. My fear is that there will come a point this poor form will make or break whether or not shes can do this.
Leave it to me to take a perfectly fine lesson or ride and freak out...things calm down, get boring and I get all edgy and jumpy from the residual PTSD I have from the first year of owning this horse when I constantly had to look over my shoulder for a phone call she was injured yet again.
I do not like drama yet I seem to create it for myself.
The moment you forget to finish a portion of the exercise
There will always be something for us to work on. Horses and training are never ending, but I have this awful way of taking what that next thing we need to work on is and turning it into my this anxious worry that my horse wont be my partner in crime.
I want to reach my top goals on her. The far out ones like getting to a 1* and I would love for her to be a horse people see and go, man what a nice horse that is. I know the latter of that statement is me looking for validation...but I do still feel as though Tillie doesnt really get noticed when we go places and it makes me feel like maybe she isnt something special.
My weird tense riding at its finest.
I know that is my downfall and its something I should make a goal every month for the rest of the year to work on.
It doesnt help that I recently noticed a few things that are causing some concern (which seems to just make me that much more edgy and prone to being over anxious on all other things Tillie related).
Tillie has intermittently been off her grain. She always will eat her hay in her stall eagerly..but she has never been a picky eater or one to do this.
She is incredibly back sore. I feel like such a bad mom for not noticing because she hasnt been...back sore to the point I just lightly touch her and she buckles and dips so hard I worry she might fall over
Horse cant balance and stand in the freaking trailer
Tillie still seems eager to work and quiet.
I attribute #1 to the increased amount of work and more frequent hauling...I already started her on ulcer treatment BUT with her not eating her food that has it in it doesnt really do anything. I unfortunately think I need to invest in some of the paste which is like 2x more expensive.
#2 I have no idea yet what the cause is but talking with Emma shes talking me off the ledge and we are sort of leaning towards the fact shes been in much more aggressive work and jumping the most frequently she ever has. So basically like us when we start using new muscles get sore. I want to believe this to be the case with her still going so well and jumping so quietly. I fear it may be saddle fit issue, the new pelham bit or, worse yet, the hind end lameness I delt with last year possibly coming back to haunt me and its showing up here first. I have not decided my next course of action yet for this...I think I need to calm the fuck down before making any decisions or spending money of a vet if its isnt needed.
3 I will elaborate more on below...
When your horse canters over fences rather then jumps.
So back to our lesson Saturday, I had to haul us there with Emma being back in business on Izzy! Woo!! But Tillie HATES my trailer and cant stand up to save her life around turns...In another friends that is wider it isnt an issue at all. In Emmas she would mostly for slower turns after being stopped or really slow. BUT for some reason in my little straight load is the worst and you can see her shoulders flying all around, her head goes flying side to side and it just generally looks unpleasant. I have no idea why she still even loads because I KNOW how much she hates not being balanced. I have started using shipping boots for fear shes going to slice herself open in her scrambling.
I have no idea how to remedy this other then keep hauling and hope she figures it out.
Bitch please, Im fabulous
Other then that we tacked up with a lot of her looking around and just disregarding my space (a few good checks on that she was fine) and hacked up to the ring like a pro. I am so pleased with how well shes gotten this part down since the first few times she was so jumpy and jigging the entire way up there.
This was my first attempt to jump in double reins. It is really apparent I need a curb rein and my current one is way too bulky/uncomfortable, but it was good enough to attempt and P commented that this bit has really seemed to mature Tillie. She know seems to understand her job and despite occasional sass its usually when shes calling me out on something I screwed up.
Tillie went through every exercise like it was no big deal...watching back the videos from this lesson though it is really apparent just how flat and low she is jumping AND just in general my lack of equitating even on the flat. WTF?! Just a few lessons ago I felt like it was better and now my heel is up and my back is hunches and my shoulders are so tense I look like a tool.
All in all the lesson was long!! a good 2 hours at least with a lot of standing around and catching up which was wonderful...it was a solidly boring ride from Tillie made not boring from all of my woes.
so anyway here is the video mash up of some clips a student of mine capture (sorry for the poor quality, Emma and I are definitely going to put her in videoing boot camp!)
Clearly I do not know how to rest up and take it easy...and I was in denial I was sick. So decided Tuesday I would try to suck it up and go to a dressage lesson. C is always great about positional corrections for me while making sure Tillie is doing her job correctly so figured it was the best place for my first ride back on in over a week.
Tillie showing off her new boots.
I was so proud of Tillie loading up since we took a friend's green bean horse who wanted nothing to do with loading. Tillie was the adult in this situation (thank god) and was a gem. Patiently waited and went on and off the trailer a few times in the hopes this other horse would load with her on, then maybe without her on....etc.
Yessss I so good!
So I get on and immediately feel the same old crooked issue with my body...Where I feel like my left leg is longer then my right and constantly feel like I need to shift my weight to the right as if my saddle is crooked. This happens in all saddles...some more then others. I tried to not let it get to me too quickly and just do my best to adjust.
Our walk work was minimal and C instantly remarked how well that looked. Not too fast but not too slow...my first lessons with C the walk was rushed and then it became too slow in the next few. Tillie has the tendency to answer things in this way and sllllowwwly come to the middle eventually.
We started trotting and she felt really consistent but my arms felt like they weighed a ton. I believe now this was just from being sick/tired because riding since then each ride I have slowly regained my strength and its much improved. We warmed up with some leg yielding off the quarter line and I expressed my left bend issue of how she tricks me.
So we worked on riding more off my outside rein to close that door for when she likes to fall out and lose the outside shoulder and really use more inside leg to wake up the trot. Rides like these when I need more forward trot tend to mess with my head since I am so ingrained to slow it all down...but HEY new problems means progress right?!
We then spent some time discussing stretchy trot and worked on this with Tillie since I had left off working on that. Low and behold Tillie gave me the most wonderful willingness to stretch and all it took was taking a bit more of the inside rein and letting the outside slip out. Riding with wide hands when she loses the connection, and bring them together and forward as she stretches. Sounds so simple lol but it worked!
Psh this is no big deal any more mom!
There was a lot of commotion with it being feeding time at this point and I was so proud of Tillie for not going full giraffe mode like normal and stayed focused in work mode.
We moved on to canter work which felt sooo strange to me. Not riding for over a week has a funny way of making it all seem foreign...but C said again she thought she looked pretty good and we would start working now on introducing a counter canter exercise to prep for that.
I struggled a bit understanding at first what she wanted which led to a confused Tillie...and she really let me know how unfair it was at one point. C wanted us cantering and after the corner present like we were going to do a diagonal change of rein, but then by the center of the ring, still be on the quarter line and present Tillie back to the corner.
Drawing it out makes more sense then explaining it
I was riding too deep and going all the way to the center line and when I heard C say no too deep I would panick and go back to the wall which confused Tillie and would result some of the time getting a flying change (which I have no idea how to ride or ask for yet...lol so good to know they are there!) and my balance and weight being all wrong and Tillie just getting pissed at me for getting in her way.
BUT I finally understood it when C walked it for me...lol yes I was having that much of an issue and was clearly on the struggle bus and it produced such a wonderful canter by the end.
It was clear at this point too, but crookedness issue was part of what was making this exercise so hard which C agreed and imbalance will get called out and show up in lateral work. So I need to go back to yoga and rebuild back to how strong I was before getting sick to catch myself back up.
C left me with one more exercise where I would try an extended trot across the diagonal and then trot a 10 m circle to get her back to get Tillie sitting and lifting with a bit more forward and balanced and back to slow and balanced which is hard for her, and to test my evenness in both stirrups.
The first two times Tillie broke to canter. The first time was right lead canter and then left because I over corrected. The last few times doing it was the coolest feeling...while it wasnt 100% correct extended trot C was excited we had a few steps of Tillie really sitting and toeing the line with the toe flick...she said you could really see Tillie testing her balance here and was impressed with how quickly she got comfortable doing it.
Tillie on the left ignoring the baby horse quivering and her shennanigans
I must admit, since our last event I threw Tillie out in a field, crawled home and licked my wounds. I know it wasnt THAT bad, but once again my hopes for the event fell very very short (I was hoping I could use this last event to check off confidence building in the hopes of moving up next year).
I know I need to not dwell soo much on the level we are competing at...but it is really challenging to feel like we havent improved. I can see a lot of changes happening when looking back at old posts but its like watching paint dry. To those that enjoy the training process - Kudos.
Some days I do. The moment things click and we both move together its so validating. But more often then not they arent clicking and my confidence becomes an issue (as we all know and I've quite literally have beaten to death in previous posts).
I am trying really hard not to dwell or whine....so I decided to just wine a lot instead!
I took a trip up north and took long weekend on a wine tour. So I overspent as usual and brought home all the wine. Literally two cases of an assortment of bottles from the various vineyards we visited....So here is to hoping instead of whining I'll be wining.
Luckily, good Old miseventer was around and was able to ride Tillie in my absence since we all know how mischievous she can get when she is left to her own devices. So until that stops, we will not be taking any breaks.
A still from the video I got of their lesson
I am pleased to report Tillie gave Miseventer a good ride and was behaved...and I urged her to take a lesson with D since she finally had something to ride in one. Holy cow was I impressed with them both.
Let's just say I may be paying Miseventer to take over the ride ;)
