I just realized I dont think I ever formally introduced my "baby" horse Kiss (jc name KissTheButterflies).
Finally having my girls together at the same barn felt really nice
I saw an ad posted about her and just could not stop thinking of her. I had fresh money in my pocket to go towards her purchase and it was burning a hole in my pocket.
The day I went to look at her (she is 3 in this picture)
If any of you remember Typo in my adding to the roster post...I sold him pretty quickly to an adult male as his first horse because he is just so chill. I knew pretty quickly he wouldn't be sticking around...i like my feisty mares...and he fit perfectly in with his new owner's agenda. They still are building together and happy which makes me super happy.
One of our first off farm schoolings...can you say wood allergy!?
Kiss has by far been way easier, more sane and willing than Tillie was at this young age. Sure she has her moments, but she is just so NICE. She was so good at her first few events last season. Worried for sure and just wiggly...so not like the cocky tillie dragging my butt around.
First ever full event, looking the part already
Both my mares could not be any more opposite. Kiss is typically happy to plod along however fast or slow you ask...sometimes more on the slow side. She tends to be a worrier which is something we are working on. Really managing her confidence and protecting that.
Another outing in the season at Loch Moy...having some baby feelings about it all
She jumped around very well and confident though!
She isnt as brave as tillie, but once you show her the way shes usually pretty honest. I admit to not always giving her the driving, supportive ride she always needs to things simply because I am not used to that! Its been a learning curve for me but a very fun one. Hence us sticking at intro last year to feel one another out...we were about to move up to BN for one final event but all the darn rain foiled that and everything was cancelled.
Dressed up in "racing gear" for a paper chase
All that rain didnt help set us up for success this year just yet. This season we are struggling with her big feet somewhat, but we got pads put on and so far **knocking on all the wood** that has seemed to keep her happy and comfortable.
Did i mention she sometimes feels like a human blender?
My goal for her this year (shes is now 5) is to keep plugging away at the confidence building. Lots of miles, traveling and exposure. We will likely live in BN land for a while until she tells me she's bored.
Schooling at tranquility last fall
The mare has some talent in there I am excited to see come out, but must be careful not to push too fast too soon...because she is so much easier than tillie was, its easy to get carried away.
Not touching this mom!!
Scope for days
Her legs and feet are so much thicker than Tillie....and her body longer. Its been interesting learning how to put her together. Shes also much lighter in my hands...
First day of trying her
Last week
She was so young and awkward, I really tried to take some time with her...i gave her most of this winter off and the time off hasnt disappointed. Shes come back well aside from the feet issue.
Just because shes cute
Our first schooling of the season she was doing much better jumping across and not so up and down...however we went again when the footing was wet and we had that issue again which makes me things studs are needed sooner than I realized.
So that is Kiss!! My princess pony...while Tillie is very much still queen bee. We have a busy season planned between the two!
Well hello again blogger friends (if I still even have any left). I went on a bit of a hiatus for so many reasons, but in a nutshell I was burnt out. I changed barns, started up my own lesson program, got Tillie to prelim, Tillie got hurt, I moved in with my (then newer) significant other while paying off some significant divorce debt., my job became way more intrusive and the flexibility I once enjoyed was slipping away...can you say WAY too much on my plate?!
Yes I have a pet pig now (Meet Penelope)
I did it to myself. Rather than stop and smell the wilting roses and process all the change, I powered through pretending I was ruling it all. When really it was slowly chipping away at me. I felt constantly overwhelmed and feeling like I needed more time in a day. I knew things had to change, but I didn't know what it was that had to give or what I felt ok with giving up.
Isn't she just the cutest?
My horses had to take a back seat for a while and that really got me down. I work very hard to pay for them (we all know they aren't cheap even when just hanging out). I felt like I was doing all the work and busting my butt feeding shifts to make extra money...try to teach despite the crappy weather every. single. weekend. All while not having the time to enjoy or ride my horses. I even started listing both for sale to see which one would sell to try and cut back...and I am SO glad that didn't happen.
But I really got into cooking though...
Despite the time off not being by choice, it did myself and my mares a world of good.
I found a new job that is only 10 minutes from home and 20 from the farm...with flexibility and work I REALLY love. I didn't realize how my last job was eating away at me. I fought so hard to stay for so long (like my marriage) because I thought it was a good job for me. And it is a great job for someone and a great company...but it no longer fit ME and what was good for me.
Don't worry Goose is still around, all grown up and ornery AF
The week I started my new job, I went down to for my annual visit to Kentucky for the big 5* Land Rover Three Day Event and it brought me back to life. I swear that was not intentionally planned!! And my trainer Dom Schramm was riding in it - so I was THRILLED to go and cheer him on. All I can say is the trip brought me back to life in regards to my motivation with my horses.
Kiss (my 5yr old Ottb) schooling on Tuesday
Tillie (10 yrs old now wtf) schooling Wednesday
I fully intended this season to just plod along and come what may come...but I felt inspired and realized I can do this again. It will take time, but I have it in me. I have the support system, the coolest horses (I was taking for granted) and now the time to be able to do it! (heck yea no more two hour daily commute!). I have come back home and literally hit the ground running with both girls...being aware to take it day by day and not burn myself out again.
However the entries are flying and my bank account draining...
Anyway...I am hoping to get back to blogging to document this season. I have a few, ok A LOT to catch up on and fill everyone in - if anyone still follows me that is. See you all around!
Any of you following my blog have certainly noticed my high level of anxiety, woes and general self doubt in both myself and Tillie. I know that is something everyone can relate to on some level and that does give me some comfort.
I got so used to living in that place of being down and out about riding that I even wondered at times if Tillie was the right horse, if I just want cut out to be a rider and if I was pushing too hard to do a sport I just aint that good at.
Sunset silhouette = peaceful
But suddenly, things have started to come together. We have had more and more successful rides and less not so good rides. The not so good rides even pale in comparison to those not so good ones predated to now when I more often than not got lucky staying on literally by the seat of my pants.
Me?! make you fall off....never!!!!
It hit me after doing a flat school last night the stars are aligning and it isnt just a one off good ride here and there anymore! I am having productive, pleasant rides where I can feel the learning happening. There isnt drama or fighting anymore and I feel myself trusting her more and more.
I hear past phrases from lesson in my head like "get braver riding her on the flat" or "push for more and then test her half halt" and I understood those perfectly then, but only now am I understanding how beneficial those suggestions are.
I know this is a huge lead in to just another dressage schooling ride at home (with no video)...but this place of understanding and trust with Tillie is no longer fleeting. I could really get used to this and hope we continue growing and facing NEW obstacles in such a happy place...like when we try Cross country schooling this year.
Less moments of this please...
It just hit me during the ride last night that I can go big around the ring trot AND canter without a blow up happening and not be so afraid to even ask Tillie for more. The fact that I am even comfortable and able to ask for more is just exciting when we used to always have to ask for slower.
I dont want to get too ahead of ourselves...training is a process and growth takes time, but damn it feels really good right now and better yet, I am enjoying it again. I am starting to actually LIKE riding my horse.
Sorry Tillie no jumps today...prepping for our dressage show
I feel good. It hasnt been often I can brag or boast...and I normally am not one to. But its kind of exciting! Not to mention having a fun new truck and trailer to do these things in :) Ill have them for the next 20 years probably so right now totally digging the "newness" of them!!!
What I love and hate about winters here is how up and down the weather can be...one day youll have fifty degree sunshine and the next frigid and frozen. This last Saturday for our jump lesson we happened to be on the kinder warmer day and lots of snow melting!
Tillie says I am ready!
I took the opportunity to practice self loading a bit more with Tillie before leaving...just going on and off, going partially on and standing and then backing partially off and waiting. Tillie was a good girl and it helped with her impatience of standing in the trailer before leaving. She can stand beautifully once we get where we are going, but at home will paw and get antsy. Not a huge deal at all...but something if we can work on it, why not.
We were solo this week in the trailer with our usual trailer mate out of town, but Tillie really didnt care.
Trailering alone means more hay more me!
It was pretty uneventful, which I am really starting to love. We tacked up and this time, I didnt even bring my pelham as a "just-in-case-we-need-it" and I had a moment of crap what I we do...but decided to start giving Tillie the benefit of the doubt and just go with it.
All professional and business now...who needs the pelham!?
We had a much smaller group this lesson with a lot less going on...so it was really nice and quiet. No distractions really and the atmosphere just felt really relaxed and much less tense. I noticed re-watching the videos that I had a much longer rein and trust in Tillie which lead to a much happer looser and relaxed Tillie.
Happy as a clam
Warming up on the flat Tillie seemed a bit inconsistent...just mistepping here or unbalanced there. Not hugely, just minor things that she would give a little head shake at threatening to be bad. First transition into canter she did a mini explosion, but for her it was just a matter of letting her get the wiggles out and then she was perfectly quiet when we did a few more both ways.
She really wanted to suck behind the bit and trick me into grabbing at her. In the confined space like this indoor she is really tricky - She likes to have me help her, but doesnt want the contact to be too heavy or a certain type depending on where we are in the ring. I tried not to play into it and just stayed steady and let her sort it out.
Nice Knees!!!
So P set up an outside 3 stride line to warm up over and we trotted up to it pretty darn consistent and without rushing...Tillie jumped both like she hasnt seen a fence before but landed quiet and together so just one more time over it was fine. Here is one of the warm up attempts through the line:
I love in the indoor I can ride Tillie forward without worrying about the other side. The indoor naturally makes her more aware and careful making it way more pleasant. The 3 strides rode really nice and smoothly.
P put them up to about 2'6 and then added a jump on the opposite outside line with a barrel under it and had us try this line. Tillie was pretty whatever and unphased by it:
I love having these videos to watch back because I can reflect and almost get more bang for my buck and experience my lesson all over again. Not to mention, visually see what works and what doesnt. I noticed this lesson Tillies form is really getting better! She is stretching out over more of the fences and starting to use herself better.
My equitation woes look like they have helped improve my own form too!
P built on this other outside line and added another fence making it a 2 stride. It gave the horses a bit more to think about and required a bit more of a push ride. I tend to prefer trotting to jumps with Tillie's old tendency to get too forward. I know I need to let this go because she has proven she isnt a nut job anymore, but old habits die hard and this line I really was unsure about cantering in. Luckily, Tillie ate it up and again was pretty chill about it. I LOVED her form over the first fence in this line:
A Still of us over the barrel...Really proud of my equitation! and look Tillie is stretching out!
P then set up two fences in the middle of the ring that eventually would make up a course. I love that she sets these things up, has us jump them individually or in pieces before doing them all together in a course. Good thing because these jumps were a bit more narrow then Tillie is used to (I believe they were 8ft poles rather then the 12ft) and she questioned the gate the first time. It was barely anything, and kind of adorable...I simple said "no no" and encouraged with a little squeeze and she said "well ok":
The hogsback was a ton of fun! Mostly becasue it was the one I was the most skeptical to jump since it looked like soooo much. But it rode really nicely.
I think Tillie has a secret Hunter buried deep somewhere we are tapping into.
P put the diagonal fences up (the hogs back she said was 2'9) and then had us try piecing together the 2 stride outside line with the diagonal fences trying to think about riding a nice approach. Tillie and I really found our groove at this point and the distances came easy. Usually I need to count out loud and loudly to keep a rhythm and sort a distance out. Tillie was all business and really not giving any care to the higher height of the fences:
Big smiles from me! That last fence was just a moment so in tune with each other it felt sooooo good.
After this run through P changed how we were running the course making the turns much tighter....These diagonal fences subsequently because trickier more technical rides. P told us we had to ride more forward through the corner and really sit on the outside hind leg to keep them balanced through the turn. P had us thinking about counter bending through the turn to keep them straighter so their hind legs didnt squirt out behind them losing impulsion:
Our little blip was my error after the hogs back and not setting Tillie down enough and committing to the change. She does tend to get bracey and rather then sit and make her do it before the corner, I tried not to micromanage, but it turned into me not riding enough. Because I got the change so late tillie questioned the gate again, but was a good, honest girl and took it anyway.
Pay attention Mom!!!
Notice this round, P changed the first 3 stride line to become a two stride with the second fence an oxer. This helped getting balance back and regrouping happen a little easier for the tight turn to the hogs back.
Soaring over the oxer.
P had me try the diagonal lines one more time to make sure I got the change sooner, unfortunately the first part got missed, but I did get the simple change before the corner!:
All in all, I was super please with this lesson. Tillie and I both seemed to be on the same page and when I lacked Tillie picked up the slack like a seasoned pro. I am so impressed with how much shes improved and this footage from this lesson showed her form becoming much more consistent. Sure she still wants to curl under herself still at times, but shes stretching sooo much better and really sitting now. Here's to hoping this snow they are calling for isnt THAT bad or misses us so we can keep working at it!
Unfortunately for Emma still being broken, I got to join in again on another P lesson this last Saturday. Prepare to be bombarded with pictures, Gifs and videos because it was one of the best rides I have ever had in my life. It was exactly what I needed.
It is not nearly often enough you see me smile while I am riding,
but rounding the turn to the final jump I was grinning from ear to ear like a big kid.
Right off the bat, Tillie was a bit more settled arriving this time. I really wanted to not deal with any of her "Up-ness" so was contemplating hand walking her up to the ring rather then ride the short hack to get there. Emma softly pushed me and said no, you need to ride and use the chance to keep working this out since its similar to how she gets at shows.
Well ok then! And while she was still a bit jiggy and looking around...she was better then the first time so thats something!
Warming up, Tillie was a super star. She was light, responsive and just all around uncomplicated. So we went right into the lesson with a simple grid. I asked P if I needed to stop her at the end like last lesson and she simply said, well lets see how she is today:
One of our first times through really focusing on releasing.
Freakishly quiet. Thats how she was...I breathed out and thought ok. That was nice but still prepared for her to build the longer we did this.
P adjusted the second jump to be an oxer and off we went through it again.
Tillie ate it up and was cool as a cucumber so P then put up the third and final fence:
At this point I am rolling with it and sloooowly start trusting her by letting my reins go slightly longer and on landing using next to no hand to circle and downward transition. My inner kid was singing and shouting to the rooftops how awesome this was.
P raised the jumps one more time for our final time through notice my hands?!
BTW - Thanks to Emma for all the footage and driving me to this lesson :)
So moving on from the line, she had us trot an oxer by itself to test the rhythm and eventually turn it into the second jump of a line. I instantly go oh crap, this will result in excitement for sure....
UMMM my horse was like PSHHHH I got this while I'm over here like "equitation is for the birds"
Holy moly swinging leg batman! But isnt Tillie just the cutest!?
The canter approach still shot is much better!
My favorite still over this fence (during the course) since my equitation is decent and Tillies form is just adorable.
So P had us land from this and keep cantering to try again in canter since she stayed calm and in rhythm at the trot.
Again, Tillie just blew it out of the water and knew her job. I was starting to get slightly freaked out.
Next up, P made this into a 4 stride line. Our first time through we came in a bit tight and got 5 instead...
P was so wonderfully supportive of it because we added. For Tillie to have made that decision is HUGE since she tends to want to get flat and take the gappy distance. But, we needed to get more even striding through the line so around we came to try again.
We got the 4! I forgot to release a little bit more this time and P reminded me that its really needed for me to do this because Tillie likes to jump very tucked in up front rather then stretching over her back probably from how much I have held her.
I love that P reassured me that its understandable as to why with her previous antics, but that maybe those were partially created from her mentally feeling a bit claustrophobic.
In any case, my releasing more and allowing her to stretch HAS seemed to have been doing something wonderful for Tillie because we then put a course together that was quite intricate:
I know I take myself and riding way too seriously, but this ride I seriously had fun. Its extremely rare to see me smile under saddle, let alone do it in the middle of actual work but I was so over the moon excited!
Just cause this one is cool - and I am releasing!
I had a quiet but eager, willing and adjustable horse! It felt like all the tears, lack of confidence and hard work built up to this ride. Emma kept trying to tell me this is Tillie's new normal so I wouldnt be soooo freaked out. No I did not go home and take her temperature, though I did think about it...I decided I needed to bask in this one a little bit and just LOVE it. After all, this is what its supposed to be about...the trick is to have this same feeling even when it isnt so perfect.
Look I can have a droopy rein!!! Notice Brita (a guest blogger of Emma) in the pink!?
It has been getting colder out and the colder weather + field change = a very wound up Tillie. Tillie confused her gender as Stallion on Friday, filled with snorting, tail up and neck arched...
For those of you that cant see the video here are a few stills:
Look what I can do mom!
Watch me Whip...
Watch me neigh neigh
Oh watch me, watch me!
I don't always tranter....but when I do its awesome.
Just before this 5 minute episode, we had a lovely ride. Which Tillie clearly felt depleted her energy to enough to warrant:
Must. Eat. Before. I. Starve.
I have decided to try her on Depo again and so far, no negative swelling like last time...and hopefully will keep her stallion like behavior to a minimum.
