I was feeling a tad worried going into Fair Hill...I really only started digging in to prep about two and a half weeks out. I realized the week before, I had yet to ride my dressage test at all on Tillie let alone some of the movements...nor had I stadium jumped her.
Ummm unprepared much?
Attempting to prep for braiding all by myself!
But our jump prep felt great and our final dressage lesson the day before felt really good, relaxed and consistent even through the test.
I did it! Although not beautiful, I did not melt down
I got her all cleaned up and braided...which if any of you remember is a big deal for me lol. I am not a good braider and in the past would get about 3 braids in before losing it and calling someone for help. So was super proud I did it!
Tucked in and ready to go
Tillie the next morning was really offended I left her in all night...so lesson learned, we will try next time putting her in the smaller paddock with Kiss and hope she keeps her braids in. Because her angst lead to some major issues in our dressage test...like 44.5 points of issues to be exact.
Yea not great. Especially since our flatwork has greatly improved. You can see she just was persnickety and super tense....and it led to me getting flustered. The head flicking...well not ideal and I believe to know the cause and working towards fixing it:
I will say, I didnt feel horrible when I saw a few other riders in my open division with similar scores (I mean we were dead last, but at least we didnt canter out of the ring like that one time though). I had Ryan Wood, Jenny brannigan and similar quality riders in my division...OH and Icabod crane. You know Phillip Dutton's previous mount.
F- ME.
We could have used this relaxation in dressage
So new focus...dressage boot camp for a week (currently happening). I was feeling really frustrated and resolved to get this figured out because I KNOW we can do better and more than that we have to do better. I was however happier with her canter and trot lengthenings over previous tests...even if the score didnt reflect it.
But on to jumping!
Tillie warmed up amazingly well. Got all the distances, leads and was forward but would rebalance and jumping like a beast. I opted to go in early and felt ready. The course had a lot more combinations than I was expecting, which were a huge issue for us last season we competed. So I prayed our last jump lesson paid off and we would keep the rails up.
So jump one...we pull a rail. Not exactly how Id like to start...and left lead, not sure where that went?! But I will fess up to the first rail. I got too impatient and didnt keep her balanced...I dropped her before.
But all the hard stuff she nailed and was adjustable and responsive...through the second line however she felt pretty darn heavy. She did respond to be, but I had what felt like 25 lbs in both reins.
We pulled the last oxer's rail as well...as you can see in the video, she got low and I didnt hang out long enough in the turn to get her back so we basically came in low and hot.
But we survived and at this point still in the qualification for waredaca...so XC it is.
Out we went...I had the goal to get as close to time as possible knowing full well I tend to run her too slow.
She came out strong. Like way too strong. So I had to keep her in check more than i would have liked the first few fences.
You can see here her pulling my arms off down the hill...and i was thinking oh god if this is the whole course I might die. But knew after jump 4 we had a downhill to a good uphill stretch to let her have at it and get out that pent up energy.
It worked and rest of the jumps came nice and steady out of a good distance...without always adding!
So not exactly the first outing I had anticipated. BUT there was a lot to like despite the frustrating lows. At least coming out of this i know what we need work on. We at least got the qualification needed for waredaca so 3 more to go!
A few people recommended trying perfect prep or something before dressage...if anyone has suggestions on show day help for relaxation please let me know!
Well hello again blogger friends (if I still even have any left). I went on a bit of a hiatus for so many reasons, but in a nutshell I was burnt out. I changed barns, started up my own lesson program, got Tillie to prelim, Tillie got hurt, I moved in with my (then newer) significant other while paying off some significant divorce debt., my job became way more intrusive and the flexibility I once enjoyed was slipping away...can you say WAY too much on my plate?!
Yes I have a pet pig now (Meet Penelope)
I did it to myself. Rather than stop and smell the wilting roses and process all the change, I powered through pretending I was ruling it all. When really it was slowly chipping away at me. I felt constantly overwhelmed and feeling like I needed more time in a day. I knew things had to change, but I didn't know what it was that had to give or what I felt ok with giving up.
Isn't she just the cutest?
My horses had to take a back seat for a while and that really got me down. I work very hard to pay for them (we all know they aren't cheap even when just hanging out). I felt like I was doing all the work and busting my butt feeding shifts to make extra money...try to teach despite the crappy weather every. single. weekend. All while not having the time to enjoy or ride my horses. I even started listing both for sale to see which one would sell to try and cut back...and I am SO glad that didn't happen.
But I really got into cooking though...
Despite the time off not being by choice, it did myself and my mares a world of good.
I found a new job that is only 10 minutes from home and 20 from the farm...with flexibility and work I REALLY love. I didn't realize how my last job was eating away at me. I fought so hard to stay for so long (like my marriage) because I thought it was a good job for me. And it is a great job for someone and a great company...but it no longer fit ME and what was good for me.
Don't worry Goose is still around, all grown up and ornery AF
The week I started my new job, I went down to for my annual visit to Kentucky for the big 5* Land Rover Three Day Event and it brought me back to life. I swear that was not intentionally planned!! And my trainer Dom Schramm was riding in it - so I was THRILLED to go and cheer him on. All I can say is the trip brought me back to life in regards to my motivation with my horses.
Kiss (my 5yr old Ottb) schooling on Tuesday
Tillie (10 yrs old now wtf) schooling Wednesday
I fully intended this season to just plod along and come what may come...but I felt inspired and realized I can do this again. It will take time, but I have it in me. I have the support system, the coolest horses (I was taking for granted) and now the time to be able to do it! (heck yea no more two hour daily commute!). I have come back home and literally hit the ground running with both girls...being aware to take it day by day and not burn myself out again.
However the entries are flying and my bank account draining...
Anyway...I am hoping to get back to blogging to document this season. I have a few, ok A LOT to catch up on and fill everyone in - if anyone still follows me that is. See you all around!
So this week is winding down closer to the big day....and it means I am getting more wound up. Tillie was a tad foot sore Monday and Tuesday so was closely monitoring her and praying it would dissipate. Some bute, magic cushion seemed to do the trick since yesterday she felt pretty good.
Last jump school before the weekend!
I have talked about my nerves before...and this year they have been way better. I haven't really had crippling nerves or stomach flutters but leading up to this Saturday they are rearing their ugly heads again.
I would be surprised if I didn't...I mean the move up from Training to Prelim is quite a leap. I just have to keep reminding myself this choice wasn't made lightly. It was made in conjunction with my trainers who all think we are more than ready. I need to focus on that and the fact our training is there and believe in it.
I don't think Tillie will have a problem with 3'7
I kept our jump school really light yesterday because of her feet. Luckily she jumped very well making it easier to call it a day after a few rounds. I know at this rate, its my nerves I need to keep in check.
Easier said than done though right?
Using guide rails to help with drifting and straightness
The last thing I want is to have a prelim debut like our training one...where I get eliminated because I am not thinking straight. At the end of the day that training was still a confident building one, and luckily they let us still do XC...but I need to breath and not allow this to be so huge in my mind.
Its just another ride, at the level we have been doing all year - just not competing at it.
Tillie looks bored...
I need to keep two things in mind for tomorrow. Ride FORWARD and STRAIGHT. Don't let her drift left and ride her shoulders and don't get too greedy and adding before jumps. Let the mare move out.
Where do I even begin? I feel like this season, compared to previous ones, was so jam packed with events and things that it makes my head spin...and probably why I sort of called it a season slightly early.
I am a bit disappointed I will not be doing any more events, but with the hard ground lately and my feelings of my own riding...I decided that digging into lessons and really smoothing out the wrinkles is what we need to focus on right now.
This time last year, we still had this happening frequently in every ride
Its incredible to think back to this time last year, where we started this year compared to where we are now. Even with that knowledge, its easy to get caught up in the now and think we still stink...which relatively speaking, we still do in many ways lol. There will always be more to work on.
But back to the point: Our show season in review.
March:
We started off with a dressage fix-a-test trying out Novice USEF tests to see if moving up to novice was even feasible. (Full recap here)
Great way to kick off the season!
April:
Next up, I entered in a Dom Schramm clinic (conclusion and recap here) pretty last minute on a whim and boy did it pay off. I truly believe this clinic was the catalyst to our season and the HUGE confidence booster needed.
Then we had our first event of the season at Beginner Novice at Olde Hope where we finished 2nd! (Recap here):
May:
With the success of the BN event, we moved up to our first novice at the middle of May at EEHC horse trials where we got FIRST!! (Full recap here)
Schooling at home right before our show, this is prob the most confident jumping I felt all year
Then at the end of May we did our second Novice at Loch Moy where we got 5th and finished on our dressage score (recap here):
June:
I decided to try out recognized shows at novice then to start prepping for down the road. Since only a handful of Trainings are starter events...and so we wouldn't have to worry about both that and a move up when the time came. I remember the time penalties being a bit of a shock, but a good learning experience. If I recall, we were 4th after dressage, but stadium time penalties bumped us down to 7th (recap here)
July:
We did a training level derby at Fair hill...which I sadly had no media of, but it was a test for the bigger fences. Tillie ate them up and I felt good about it. We went to another starter Novice event at fair hill and it was probably the most confident I have ever felt (recap here)
Later in July we went to our second recognized event...and I just wasn't on my A game. Tillie carried us through dressage despite my errors and forgetfulness, we woke up a bit in stadium only to run out of gas in XC and misread a fence we both took a spill at (recap here)
So we pressed on with encouragement from our trainers, and it really did feel like we bounced back as we prepped for our big move up to Training.
I returned to loch moy and conquered the fence we fell at plus a few more in POURING rain...definitely made for an interesting story. But I decided to do a CT before we gave our move up a go.
August:
We did a Training level CT at loch moy to determine how things felt and boy did Tillie knock it out of the park. Again, jumping her never felt better and our dressage was one of the best feeling tests Ive ever ridden (recap here)
But then I think the fall started to creep in and by the time we got to our first ever training event at our old stomping grounds (a farm we visit almost weekly) and I slightly panicked when walking the course leaving my headspace not where it needed to be (recap here). Funny thing is, the XC portion was the most laid back and easy thing of the entire day...when it was what I was worried about the most:
So I realized at this point, on an off day, we can no longer squeak by...the higher fence height, width and questions in stadium tattled on me...We were consistently jumping this height and here at this farm without ever touching rails so to knock two, and then blow by a jump all together...well rider error sucks.
So I decided to try again this time at waredaca (recap here). Once again, HUGE rider error in that I totally had prepared the wrong test...and it didn't help the test I needed to have prepared I hadn't even seen ridden before...compounded by the fact that they pushed up all our times but neglected to tell me so literally had 5 minutes to warm up and as the rider before me was halting and saluting, I was trying to learn my new test. Once again, stadium was ok with some weird out of sync stuff...but XC Tillie owned it and it wasn't exactly the easiest XC course!
Sure we went around soooo slow accruing a TON of time penalties, but Dom reassured us that is what we need for right now and we would work on adding the speed. Which I am pleased after last weekend, I think we found the ticket to do it.
So we aren't doing any more events this year...I would have liked to, but because we ended so strongly XC the dressage and stadium we can iron out in this off season as well as me getting my crap together and learning how to read omnibus'.
I recently had a cross country lesson with Dom this past weekend. Overall, I walked away extremely excited but can't deny there were some hard moments that opened my eyes to how hard this sport can be. Dom reassured me that there cant be growth without pushing the limits and that I shouldn't stress about where we struggled and that the good news is, her reaction is very typical of a green horse at the level...I just need to put on my own big girl riding pants and learn how to help her better.
Like this happened...maybe the dap on horseback can be a new in thing?
Upper level riders certainly make riding through those tricky combinations so easy, but what we don't usually see, is all the training it took to get a horse to that point that they can skip through the questions so smoothly. So it was nice to have the reassurance of Dom telling me this is all par for the course and I will start getting better at reacting quicker the more we do them.
I realize I have been incredibly spoiled to not have ever had a stop or run out on this horse. So this lesson where we had not just one, but a few was mostly due to my lack of knowing how to ride it and just not reacting quickly enough. I thought for sure after the first one, it would throw me off a bit more...but I was so excited about the recent bit change that it didn't deter me one bit.
OMG an actual uphill canter
So onto the bit update: I was practicing galloping Tillie last week which resulted in some not so fun moments including Tillie bolting, getting her head low and bucking when I would try to half halt. It isn't the most warm and fuzzy feeling in the world, and this issue with her has been a recurring one.
It also has been nagging at me. With our move up to Training, going faster needs to be able to happen out on XC, without all the fighting. Its been something I have been talking to Dom about and other trainers, which resulted in the conversation about having her vetted in case it was a pain related issue.
Locking on!
After her vet evaluation, we know we would like to try injections, but it is so mild that it this isn't 100% physical and its the dreaded training issue. At least that's good-ish news right?!
So Dom schooled Tillie for me a few weeks back and had some discussions with Tillie about the half halt. It means NOW, not in five strides and not lean more on my hands...when I say balance or rate yourself it means do it now.
So we can avoid jumps like this
After our galloping incident, I had a horsey friend suggest trying a different bit. Not necessarily a harsher one, but one that applies pressure differently than the Pelham since the Pelham tends to promote lower the head when that's the last thing we need.
Most horses raise their heads when they get hot...mine likes to get down. So after some research and asking around, the gag bit was what came up. I did even more research and looked up some videos of Clayton Fredericks using one with his 4* mare Be My Guest. Low and behold the mare tends to gallop a bit like Tillie tries to and this bit allows him to let her gallop like her natural way of going and set her up before fences without needing to fight with her the whole time.
I read a bit more about it here: http://www.horsenation.com/2012/06/07/a-bit-of-advice-gag-bits/
Yea, no more of this....taken this time last year
Dom was kind enough to let me borrow his (which my inner fan girl almost died when he said it was the one he used on Boly - the horse he just got 6th on in the FHI 2*) and left it with me to play with for a few days leading up to our XC lesson.
Right away, as soon as I took a spin around the track and windurra, I knew it was exactly what we needed. Tillie didn't lean on it at all...and when she would try to test it, all she could do was slightly root, but would quickly come back up when she caught herself in the mouth.
I was able to let her gallop and bring her back...for the first time I felt comfortable keeping my leg on.
All smiles even when going really fast
Dom was quite excited about the change too and was pretty impressed with how quickly I could get her back again.
So now onto the actual XC lesson!!!
Dom had us warm up first in the field inside the track. It was a blistery cold, wet and windy day so we knew it would be a good test for the new bit...also since Tillie had a light two days prior (one day off, one day of 20 ish minutes stretching).
He reminded me to use my turns to get good lines to the jumps, look sooner at my jumps and to not mess with our canter....find a rhythm and stay there. So he had us do a figure 8 exercise to sort of establish where we needed to be.
Once we warmed up, we put a few of the jumps together...Tillie just got a bit funny to the one table resulting in my losing one rein, but we got it together to keep going:
And youll see we had our first run out at the skinny...and let me tell you, it surprised me how large it was as I approached it, so wasn't all that surprised Tillie wasn't sure. Especially since we haven't xc schooled in quite a while.
So we circled back to school the Skinny:
Not the prettiest, but we made it happen.
So next we moved on to a ditch and skinny log...which apparently Tillie doesn't care about ditches anymore and just runs through them:
This run out was totally my error...I was too busy chuckling about the ditch to properly present this skinny, also with brush and quite large. Dom gave me a bit of a talkin to on this one saying I needed to sit down in my tack, widen my hands and not allow her a way out.
So we do it again with some flair:
Clearly it still makes her a bit anxious so her response is to speed up. Dom explained that this is a normal thing and her being green to them and having this reaction is pretty standard so we need to keep skinnies in the forefront of our training. Build some small ones at home in the ring - especially with brush and just do them every so often to keep them fresh.
Next we schooled the corner which I did better and keeping her in front of me even with her anxiety with it:
The next portion of the lesson was definitely the hardest xc combo we both have ever seen...and it certainly gave us some trouble, but it was quite the learning experience for us.
First attempt could have gone better if I was more prepared and didn't lean at my jump:
Second attempt I had to really ride and be scrappy to get her through it...which she basically crawled over the second jump - but we got it done and Dom said that it was the kind of ride that needed to happen:
So he had us come through in reverse and I apparently forgot how to ride all together:
But after a good butt kicking from Dom we went through the whole thing one final time, nicely and in a good place:
WHEW! Shockingly I wasn't super nervous about doing these...even after the trouble we had. But looking back at the videos I cant help but think mayyybe I just turned my brain off because I HATE down hill anything and these are awfully steep downhill!
We moved on next to another line of jumps to a skinny combo around to a half coffin to which Dom basically warned me about the run out and told me to not allow it to happen:
We didn't have a run out!!! woo!! But we didn't quite get the right half halt to the second jump so Dom had us do it again:
Basically, I had the right idea, but I rated my canter a bit too much and needed to keep my leg on and find a more even distance there.
Finally we moved on to the water complex:
Apparently Tillie ignores down banks too! Luckily it didn't phase her from remaining being locked onto the jump in the water but Dom sent us out to try again:
Which resulted in her taking a funny leap into the water again...lol so one more time:
We ended after this with Dom saying he is quite pleased with the progression...I expressed some of my own ability frustrations as well as my excitement for the rideability I now have in the gag.
Dom lectured a bit, saying its all learning and there wont always be pretty moments...but as long as we both learn from them is what counts. So here's to progress! Even when it isn't linear!
It's amazing looking back at old footage or photos how easy it all looks. But we all know, in the moment or even moments surrounding that moment was a ton of blood, sweat and tears.
Lately, I have been really nostalgic and review tons of old footage and photos. I guess I am hungry to reflect, learn and keep growing despite feeling a bit unmotivated as far as actually getting in the saddle lately. I blame this some what on an impromptu weekend away at a barn friends bachelorette weekend...and it was right up my ally ( much to my surprise)
Dont usually like selfies or this much of a close up...but gotta love the beach curls
It was really nice to lay around, nap on the beach and most of all swim...what can I say, I am an active person at hear ;)
I realized on my mini vaca that I feel a bit unmotivated in general and have felt a bit weird lately when it comes to riding. Reflecting on this more, I sort of feel like its because I reached my HUGE milestone I set to make it to training level. While there is much to work on and clean up here, its a major accomplishment for me that we made it here and with me in the saddle.
Lots of this lately and its lovely
Dont get me wrong, the lessons are still happening...and lots of learning. I am just laying a bit low lately, hence the lack of blogging.
ALLLLLL the lessons still
Tillie has been on point, and we have gotten great feedback in lesson noticing overall improvement and thats great to hear! I am still my own worst critic and can admit at times when I feel defeated, I back off before I rally and make my big comeback to kick my fear's ass.
Like galloping on purpose at home in the field.
Ive turned to an old friend lately to help me relax when I dont ride, and its sketching or drawing!! For those that dont know me well, my degree is in art and design. While I do more marketing and graphic and web design now, my passion still is with good old fashion illustration and painting (particularly charcoal or oil paintings)
Beginning phase of my latest drawing but now including color pencil
Final result
It has felt reallllly good to pick up the pencil again...and I love being able to combine both horses and drawing together. My goal is to fill up my sketch book and just experiment....and i hope it carries over to my riding too. Stop trying to make it all so perfect and just get lost in the art of it all.
I finally today got my professional photos from our last event at Waredaca and boy am I excited to share them. I purchased them because I feel like they captured all Tillie and I have worked for this year...and it basically is me reliving the glory of this moment. Running the XC and being so stoked we ran Training I was choked up running across the finish here.
I really love the last two because you can see me grinning from ear to ear...which is rare to see me do when riding, let along mid-jump. Look at all the other photos and my face ranges from being dead serious, to GRRRRR to "holy shit."
But these last two really epitomize the relationship Tillie and I have built this year. This was one of the trickier combos on the course. It was the B element after a fairly decent bank up, bending line to this skinny. Tillie was brave, hunted the fence and took me right to the base of it without any hesitation at all.
I knew once we jumped it we were home free and my smile and HUGE praise to her and pats after this were just so ridiculous, but to me this moment was the height of all we worked for.
Call me a sap, call my sentimental...but getting to this point has been quite the journey. Most of it documented here. I fret over small things and agonize about our progress, but at the end of the day THIS photo captures our journey this season. Our #progressnotperfection.
I LOVE this mare so much for being able to start this season out at BN and doing Training, with me in the saddle, in the same season and feel sooo good doing it. Sure, her rider needs to figure her shit out and stop getting so nervous, but my mare has stepped up and proven she thrives in this sport. I cant even believe I ever questioned it now.
I promise to try to update my blog more regularly...we have some more things and events on the agenda before the season ends to stay tuned!!!
