Sorry everyone for disappearing again (not that I have a TON of followers or anything....) but between my concussion, then being not so smart and attempting to go schooling before my balance was fully back, I ended up breaking my tailbone.
The photo evidence of the fall that broke my tailbone
I never really realized just how much your coccyx affects...not just sitting. Which let me tell you was realllllllly unpleasant for a good two months. Which meant no riding for me. Luckily my horses stayed in work with the help of my new trainer ive been relying on this year (who also had us play with bridle less last winter!).
Definitely want to get back to playing with this again!
The plus side to being sidelined was forcing me to really evaluate my riding goals and so much more really...I have struggled the last two years with my workload. I bought kiss in September of 2017 which started this whirlwind of changing barns completely so both my horses were together, which led to me starting a lesson program there etc. All in addition to my day job, which I got a new one in April and LOVE.
Just gonna leave this cuteness of miss Penelope here in the middle of my complaining
However its been ALOT. I kept feeling like I had more on my plate than I could handle and toyed with selling kiss off and on for the last 8 months. This tailbone injury sorta made me realize this all feels way too much like a job. All I do is work to pay for two horses, and finding time to ride two and compete two was feeling more and more like a job than fun.
Kiss and I doing novice this year!
So I decided to list her, and pretty darn quickly she got snatched up by a 14 year old in a 5* eventers program. She left last Friday and the updates since then are just so darn cute and make me so darn proud at how far kiss has come since bringing her home.
While it made me really sad, it also provided a huge sense of relief and pretty quickly allowed me to focus on Tillie again.
Snap of our ride last week
Tillie has really excelled with this new trainer in dressage - which is why I sought him out. I was getting really frustrated at how stuck she was at shows. (see the post on tillies first 2019 show at Fair Hill here).
Winter 2019 - definitely have a different trot and canter from this !
Since that show I have sort of let showing take a back seat and thrown my budgeted show money towards dressage boot camp. And boy let me tell you how excited I am to see Tillie's progress.
I actually have a soft uphill canter!!! what on earth is this?
So with that said, after my lesson yesterday on Tillie, my new trainer commented Tillie's canter looked really amazing and would do well in a working equitation class. I laughed and said sure you can take her...its a totally foreign discipline to me! But he insisted we give it a try and entered us in the L4 class on October 26th!!
Getting back to enjoying this crazy passion we all have
So the first show of the season has since come and gone, but I am playing catch up again.
Last week I took both my girls to Windurra to get another good xc school in. I felt like Tillie's first one of the season was a bit rusty, and Kiss' was less than confident with the wet footing.
I rode Kiss first to tire her out so she would be happier about standing on the trailer. She came out feeling a lot more confident even if I wasn't. My biggest issue starting out this season is riding a bit timid/not brave enough up to jumps. Once I do, both my horses shine...but when I micromanage and shut them down...well they shut down.
Dom decided to have us tackle the water right away, discussing the order of jumps and questions and why we school in that order. I found it interesting since usually we wait for water later. But for him he wanted to put some "money in the bank" for later in our school.
She did well going right in and we got right to doing the bank out. We attempted to do her first ever bank into water and her confidence wasnt quite there, but here is the succession of getting through it!
and finally much more confident:
I was really proud of her working through this. Dom also said it was a great schooling experience and reassured me her initial reaction is very normal for a first attempt.
From here we went to the dry banks and the confidence building paid off:
Usually kiss will look at the down banks and hesitate but she felt good and confident...and i am getting much less worried about them myself! From here Dom kicked me in the butt and said lets ride FORWARD...get up to the jump.
We ended at the ditches and Kiss handled this like a pro too!
Our aim is Loch Moy BN this weekend...I am hoping we are ready.
It is a topic I have seen written about again and again where people talk about the struggle of deciding when its right to make the leap and move up to the next level.
Its a topic that there really isn't a blanket answer for (aside from the repeated advice, "Do it when the current level feels bored"). The choice is really personal. One that you can only know from knowing your horse, your own confidence and lots of discussion with the professionals involved.
Going for it
I felt the move up to Training level was pretty huge because for me that level as my big goal. This big thing in my head that I built up. I didn't really think about moving up to prelim until Dom started asking my plans for the season.
Point her at it, She'll jump it
When we discussed it initially, it was agreed we would just see how this season goes at Training level and re-evaluate when I felt ready...as in not hurl when looking at the huge prelim tables. I have been keeping an eye on Prelim courses when I have walked my own. Some have looked HUGE. Slowly though, they have started looking more doable. I would find myself thinking, "We can do that!"
Skinnies are becoming less of a thing
Realistically speaking, I was totally fine with the plan of getting miles at Training level considering the struggles we had even completing an event without forgetting a test or **ahem* a jump. I knew I needed to become comfortable enough where I did not feel so frazzled.
Getting the hang of this!
Interestingly enough, by the 3rd Training into this season I stopped freaking out at the size of certain jumps on my course and started thinking more about timing, how to approach it etc. Without fail when walking my course, I almost always would have one fence that I would frantically text Dom and ask, "We have jumped something this big right?"
Water jump!
Any prelim jump in comparison scared the pants off me. But I noticed by the time we competed at Seneca, I was eyeing the prelim course while I walked mine and started thinking what we could realistically do and what we needed to start working on to be able to do what I didnt think we could do.
It wasnt pretty, but we did it
Pretty soon I was feeling like more and more of the prelim jumps were looking a little less intimidating, while training level became something that felt pretty easy. I hate saying that because this sport is anything but easy...and that whole wait to move up until you're bored thing, do jumps ever become "boring?"
Anyway, the entry is in for Seneca September 2nd for our Prelim debut. I reached out to the organizers to be sure I had the ability of dropping our entry down if I felt like our schooling leading up to it felt like we werent ready. Ill admit, I was feeling pretty 50/50 on it.
But after this weekend, I have never felt more confident! I took Tillie to windurra to school down banks and skinnies specifically, while also doing other things. But its no secret I hate down banks...and Skinnies are really the step up to prelim I am not 100% confident we are confirmed there.
Ill post more on the specifics later, but lets just say, we are ready!!
I recently had a cross country lesson with Dom this past weekend. Overall, I walked away extremely excited but can't deny there were some hard moments that opened my eyes to how hard this sport can be. Dom reassured me that there cant be growth without pushing the limits and that I shouldn't stress about where we struggled and that the good news is, her reaction is very typical of a green horse at the level...I just need to put on my own big girl riding pants and learn how to help her better.
Like this happened...maybe the dap on horseback can be a new in thing?
Upper level riders certainly make riding through those tricky combinations so easy, but what we don't usually see, is all the training it took to get a horse to that point that they can skip through the questions so smoothly. So it was nice to have the reassurance of Dom telling me this is all par for the course and I will start getting better at reacting quicker the more we do them.
I realize I have been incredibly spoiled to not have ever had a stop or run out on this horse. So this lesson where we had not just one, but a few was mostly due to my lack of knowing how to ride it and just not reacting quickly enough. I thought for sure after the first one, it would throw me off a bit more...but I was so excited about the recent bit change that it didn't deter me one bit.
OMG an actual uphill canter
So onto the bit update: I was practicing galloping Tillie last week which resulted in some not so fun moments including Tillie bolting, getting her head low and bucking when I would try to half halt. It isn't the most warm and fuzzy feeling in the world, and this issue with her has been a recurring one.
It also has been nagging at me. With our move up to Training, going faster needs to be able to happen out on XC, without all the fighting. Its been something I have been talking to Dom about and other trainers, which resulted in the conversation about having her vetted in case it was a pain related issue.
Locking on!
After her vet evaluation, we know we would like to try injections, but it is so mild that it this isn't 100% physical and its the dreaded training issue. At least that's good-ish news right?!
So Dom schooled Tillie for me a few weeks back and had some discussions with Tillie about the half halt. It means NOW, not in five strides and not lean more on my hands...when I say balance or rate yourself it means do it now.
So we can avoid jumps like this
After our galloping incident, I had a horsey friend suggest trying a different bit. Not necessarily a harsher one, but one that applies pressure differently than the Pelham since the Pelham tends to promote lower the head when that's the last thing we need.
Most horses raise their heads when they get hot...mine likes to get down. So after some research and asking around, the gag bit was what came up. I did even more research and looked up some videos of Clayton Fredericks using one with his 4* mare Be My Guest. Low and behold the mare tends to gallop a bit like Tillie tries to and this bit allows him to let her gallop like her natural way of going and set her up before fences without needing to fight with her the whole time.
I read a bit more about it here: http://www.horsenation.com/2012/06/07/a-bit-of-advice-gag-bits/
Yea, no more of this....taken this time last year
Dom was kind enough to let me borrow his (which my inner fan girl almost died when he said it was the one he used on Boly - the horse he just got 6th on in the FHI 2*) and left it with me to play with for a few days leading up to our XC lesson.
Right away, as soon as I took a spin around the track and windurra, I knew it was exactly what we needed. Tillie didn't lean on it at all...and when she would try to test it, all she could do was slightly root, but would quickly come back up when she caught herself in the mouth.
I was able to let her gallop and bring her back...for the first time I felt comfortable keeping my leg on.
All smiles even when going really fast
Dom was quite excited about the change too and was pretty impressed with how quickly I could get her back again.
So now onto the actual XC lesson!!!
Dom had us warm up first in the field inside the track. It was a blistery cold, wet and windy day so we knew it would be a good test for the new bit...also since Tillie had a light two days prior (one day off, one day of 20 ish minutes stretching).
He reminded me to use my turns to get good lines to the jumps, look sooner at my jumps and to not mess with our canter....find a rhythm and stay there. So he had us do a figure 8 exercise to sort of establish where we needed to be.
Once we warmed up, we put a few of the jumps together...Tillie just got a bit funny to the one table resulting in my losing one rein, but we got it together to keep going:
And youll see we had our first run out at the skinny...and let me tell you, it surprised me how large it was as I approached it, so wasn't all that surprised Tillie wasn't sure. Especially since we haven't xc schooled in quite a while.
So we circled back to school the Skinny:
Not the prettiest, but we made it happen.
So next we moved on to a ditch and skinny log...which apparently Tillie doesn't care about ditches anymore and just runs through them:
This run out was totally my error...I was too busy chuckling about the ditch to properly present this skinny, also with brush and quite large. Dom gave me a bit of a talkin to on this one saying I needed to sit down in my tack, widen my hands and not allow her a way out.
So we do it again with some flair:
Clearly it still makes her a bit anxious so her response is to speed up. Dom explained that this is a normal thing and her being green to them and having this reaction is pretty standard so we need to keep skinnies in the forefront of our training. Build some small ones at home in the ring - especially with brush and just do them every so often to keep them fresh.
Next we schooled the corner which I did better and keeping her in front of me even with her anxiety with it:
The next portion of the lesson was definitely the hardest xc combo we both have ever seen...and it certainly gave us some trouble, but it was quite the learning experience for us.
First attempt could have gone better if I was more prepared and didn't lean at my jump:
Second attempt I had to really ride and be scrappy to get her through it...which she basically crawled over the second jump - but we got it done and Dom said that it was the kind of ride that needed to happen:
So he had us come through in reverse and I apparently forgot how to ride all together:
But after a good butt kicking from Dom we went through the whole thing one final time, nicely and in a good place:
WHEW! Shockingly I wasn't super nervous about doing these...even after the trouble we had. But looking back at the videos I cant help but think mayyybe I just turned my brain off because I HATE down hill anything and these are awfully steep downhill!
We moved on next to another line of jumps to a skinny combo around to a half coffin to which Dom basically warned me about the run out and told me to not allow it to happen:
We didn't have a run out!!! woo!! But we didn't quite get the right half halt to the second jump so Dom had us do it again:
Basically, I had the right idea, but I rated my canter a bit too much and needed to keep my leg on and find a more even distance there.
Finally we moved on to the water complex:
Apparently Tillie ignores down banks too! Luckily it didn't phase her from remaining being locked onto the jump in the water but Dom sent us out to try again:
Which resulted in her taking a funny leap into the water again...lol so one more time:
We ended after this with Dom saying he is quite pleased with the progression...I expressed some of my own ability frustrations as well as my excitement for the rideability I now have in the gag.
Dom lectured a bit, saying its all learning and there wont always be pretty moments...but as long as we both learn from them is what counts. So here's to progress! Even when it isn't linear!
It's amazing looking back at old footage or photos how easy it all looks. But we all know, in the moment or even moments surrounding that moment was a ton of blood, sweat and tears.
Lately, I have been really nostalgic and review tons of old footage and photos. I guess I am hungry to reflect, learn and keep growing despite feeling a bit unmotivated as far as actually getting in the saddle lately. I blame this some what on an impromptu weekend away at a barn friends bachelorette weekend...and it was right up my ally ( much to my surprise)
Dont usually like selfies or this much of a close up...but gotta love the beach curls
It was really nice to lay around, nap on the beach and most of all swim...what can I say, I am an active person at hear ;)
I realized on my mini vaca that I feel a bit unmotivated in general and have felt a bit weird lately when it comes to riding. Reflecting on this more, I sort of feel like its because I reached my HUGE milestone I set to make it to training level. While there is much to work on and clean up here, its a major accomplishment for me that we made it here and with me in the saddle.
Lots of this lately and its lovely
Dont get me wrong, the lessons are still happening...and lots of learning. I am just laying a bit low lately, hence the lack of blogging.
ALLLLLL the lessons still
Tillie has been on point, and we have gotten great feedback in lesson noticing overall improvement and thats great to hear! I am still my own worst critic and can admit at times when I feel defeated, I back off before I rally and make my big comeback to kick my fear's ass.
Like galloping on purpose at home in the field.
Ive turned to an old friend lately to help me relax when I dont ride, and its sketching or drawing!! For those that dont know me well, my degree is in art and design. While I do more marketing and graphic and web design now, my passion still is with good old fashion illustration and painting (particularly charcoal or oil paintings)
Beginning phase of my latest drawing but now including color pencil
Final result
It has felt reallllly good to pick up the pencil again...and I love being able to combine both horses and drawing together. My goal is to fill up my sketch book and just experiment....and i hope it carries over to my riding too. Stop trying to make it all so perfect and just get lost in the art of it all.
I finally today got my professional photos from our last event at Waredaca and boy am I excited to share them. I purchased them because I feel like they captured all Tillie and I have worked for this year...and it basically is me reliving the glory of this moment. Running the XC and being so stoked we ran Training I was choked up running across the finish here.
I really love the last two because you can see me grinning from ear to ear...which is rare to see me do when riding, let along mid-jump. Look at all the other photos and my face ranges from being dead serious, to GRRRRR to "holy shit."
But these last two really epitomize the relationship Tillie and I have built this year. This was one of the trickier combos on the course. It was the B element after a fairly decent bank up, bending line to this skinny. Tillie was brave, hunted the fence and took me right to the base of it without any hesitation at all.
I knew once we jumped it we were home free and my smile and HUGE praise to her and pats after this were just so ridiculous, but to me this moment was the height of all we worked for.
Call me a sap, call my sentimental...but getting to this point has been quite the journey. Most of it documented here. I fret over small things and agonize about our progress, but at the end of the day THIS photo captures our journey this season. Our #progressnotperfection.
I LOVE this mare so much for being able to start this season out at BN and doing Training, with me in the saddle, in the same season and feel sooo good doing it. Sure, her rider needs to figure her shit out and stop getting so nervous, but my mare has stepped up and proven she thrives in this sport. I cant even believe I ever questioned it now.
I promise to try to update my blog more regularly...we have some more things and events on the agenda before the season ends to stay tuned!!!
Before Tillie and I had our fall last weekend, I have been thinking of asking Dom to ride her or at least hop on her to get a feel for her. I know from watching my own videos and teaching that it sometimes feels really different than it looks. I also am a big fan of my instructors or trainers getting on my horse so they know what I am dealing with...I think it gives them more insight and tools to help us.
#mareglare
I used to be much more open to handing over the reins and letting anyone get on Tillie...but lately I have been a bit more guarded of her and trying to keep my rides crystal clear for her. Obviously a professional rider I trust and like their riding style is always welcome...but I have also been protective of her because she gets a bit emotional about new riders...like profusely sweats it out so I know mentally is a bit thrown.
Ok ok Ill be nice...
But when I spoke to Dom earlier in the week about our event, he suggested he get on her to school her around and I couldnt have been more thrilled. My thought process being that would be awesome for him to ride her and feel out how confident she really is after everything, and he is the perfect rider to help her out if she was lacking some.
Look at the giant booty!
As I tacked her up, I was nervous and excited. Its always a bit unnerving when youre going to hand over the reins to someone else, but also because I was worried about how she would be with it being her first time jumping again. My gut told me she would be fine, but I of course worry and didn't want her to come out being super stressed.
Dom and I made small talk as he hopped on...believe it or not, my stirrup length didn't need to be adjusted for him at all :) I guess I never realized just how close in height we are - I am 5'3. We talked a bit more about what happened with the fall as he looked over Tillie's battle scars as he cooed to her how sorry he was that happened to her. I am so thankful for her professional choice XC boots since both her hinds took a beating, but with the strike guard protected her cannon area...
You can see her left hind boot is almost totally brown
from the brown stain of the fence we well at
He reassured me again it was just a fluke, not to overthink it and gave Tillie a pat and said to press on with our plans. We chatted a bit more about those as I put her snaffle on (yes SNAFFLE!) as he talked about bitting and he was confident Tillie could potentially come back to a snaffle for XC...he wanted to ride her in to feel how string she can be.
With that said, he trotted off to get her going and went allllll the way around and back before cantering her in a section of the field with some smaller logs and started popping her over a few things in there. I watched carefully as he jumped the jumps very close...really making her sit to jump. I noticed he was doing the same thing in her canter - really expecting her to collect and sit causing her to break a few times.
He also had her jump the larger log at an angle a few times explaining he is trying to make her think more about the jump and not get so flat on landing.
Its kind of strange watching someone ride your horse...It makes me feel a bit self conscious and odd because I am usually the one riding! Lol and because its someone else riding what you've produced. But once he did a few jumps there, he let them both catch their breath and walked over to me. He said he was VERY glad he had the opportunity to sit on her because he admitted she was certainly had a stronger feeling under saddle than how it looks. He was quite nice about it and said I have done a nice job handling it and could understand some of my own riding tendencies even more because of how she goes. So he said the goal for today, get her thinking more and sitting more.
He moved on to the ditches we have seen before:
He mixed in some canter work which shows the breaking gait I mentioned earlier from how much he was getting her to sit:
Then introduced her to the larger "coffin" complex ditch:
The entire time I could hear him talking to her which was really cool. Her ears were constantly flicking back and forth listening to him. He explained he was going to start this combo to get her thinking quicker and looking for whats next rather than focusing on the immediate jump. He said by doing this it would promote her staying uphill and prepared for the next thing coming.
So he started piecing together the coffin complex. I would have thought for sure he would school just the skinny brush alone before trying it right away, and it did seem to catch Tillie off guard. But with some encouragement and some bloopers, but more encouragement they ended up nailing it:
My first thought watching this series, was oh no...she isnt super confident and that sucks. I can count on one hand the number of times shes refused a jump, and its only ever been one other XC jump. But Dom reassured me after the fact when he let her catch her breath that it was a necessary conversation to have. He said it wasnt the jump itself she wasnt sure about, but a green horse moment of not thinking ahead or fast enough. So he said this complex was tricky and requiring her to think more...
Looking like a real xc horse now!
He said if we havent had that conversation you wont get the growth needed for these questions...meaning the next time you ride something like this and they arent sure, because of this conversation, they'll have the better answer and confidence when you close your leg to do it. He said not to worry, its part of the schooling process and its a necessary evil so to speak.
All I know is, I am glad it was Dom and not me doing it! He was really cool to watch work her through it...and not all of it is captured on video. But he would walk her to the base and give her some leg...back her up down to the ditch, walk her back to it and do this a few times until her answer to the jump was forward. I told Dom Skinnies have always been the one question shes consistently tensed to on approaches, but usually with leg will do it. He laughed and said he could feel her do that yes, but not to worry too much and the more exposure it would come...especially with this being a prelim question.
get it girl! hello prelim questions!
He was quite pleased with her and said shes super smart but also a bit of a tricky ride and "project" but he liked that about her. He said he preferred this sort of horse to the dopey ones that give you the same ride every time. He also gave me some more kudos to how well we have been going knowing this about her...he said shes brave, careful and has self preserving awareness but wont exactly do it unless you set her up and give her the right ride so part of this complex was helping work out her gaining more independence too.
At this point Dom recapped her down hill on landing issue and the want to keep her really compressed when xc schooling, similar to a show jump canter, to promote that uphill jump that we have gotten in show jumping. He said its so much harder XC when you are going faster since it opens the door for the flatter jump, but he felt her learning!
There is an uphill jump!
So next we moved on to another portion of the field with some tables and roll tops:
Then we finished up at the water where she started to run out of gas:
Dom was really excited with the ride and what he learned saying he had some great ideas for some exercises for us that would get her thinking and help her with the jump he wanted her to get. He said he thinks some of it is lack of strength so it will come with some patience.
He also said he insists on riding her a few more times sprinkled throughout the rest of the season even in some show jumping. I cant even tell you how grateful I am for the opportunities we have had this year and the ability to work with such awesome professionals. I really attribute everything this year to them.
So with a huge sigh of relief and some excitement, I am so thrilled for Tillie and more proud than words can say. Not only did she bounce back from last weekend, she totally was a rock star for Dom. It makes me really proud of the work we have put in and helps validate some of what I have been feeling under saddle. I am so excited for the rest of the season!
