This weekend the saddle fitter made her second appointment back to see us after doing some tracings and watching me ride Tillie in a few saddles. She point blankly told me none of my current saddles are working for us. Whomp whomp.
She looked at 3 of the 4 saddles I own and ruled them out as long term saddles for us and recommended shopping for something else.
You know how much of a pain in the ass it is to sell saddles? I mean, buying them is fun. Ill buy all day long if I have the money which right now is the issue...I just bought a trailer and saddle shopping was the last thing on my mind. That is until I rode in someone else's saddle at the whim of my dressage trainer and felt my horse suddenly transform from a freight train into a dancing queen (ok maybe not THAT drastic, but it was evident).
She doesnt appreciate all I do with these mare faces
So my fitter seems to be more concerned with my Stubben cross country saddle...its a smidge too wide on Tillie (though she hasnt been back sore or showing signs of discomfort) and the flap she really doesnt like on me for my length of leg. She really is stressing to replace this one first before a dressage saddle which kinda burns since I went into this fitting for a dressage saddle and threw in her looking at this one too because her pricing included multiple saddles.
I guess I asked right?!
I have had no luck selling either of my 2 dressage saddles for the last few weeks...and Ive reduced the pricing way below their market value just to unload them. I guess no one is buying right now...I have NEVER had issues selling saddles before.
When I purchased the saddle a few years ago
The fitter has recommended a kent and masters for our jump saddle and a Black Country eloquence for our dressage saddles. The price to purchase either one used let alone both is more than I have in my budget until I can sell the ones I have.
So we will see...I am also toying with having my fitter work with Hertiage bespoke and doing all custom so I get 100% what I like for both saddles at the same price point.
Luckily I dont have to rush, Tillie isnt complaining about what I am using right now but it will hurt a bit when the dressage saddle ive been borrowing from my friend is no longer around. Hence my reason for wanting to replace my dressage saddle sooner.
Besides trying to sell allllll my random horse related crap I am not using, in addition to my TWO dressage saddles that dont fit my mare, I actually rode a good bit this weekend! Lately thats a big deal with the winter blues, especially since P was out of town so we didnt have our usual jump lesson.
Tillie happily schooling at home like its no big deal
I took the opportunity to school at home again...so this is the second weekend in a row without a lesson and jumping on our own. While it may not be a big deal for most, it is for me...because there was a time I was genuinely afraid I would die if I tried to jump Tillie at all.
Last weekend we did the grids, which always makes me feel safer...this week we did a bit more course work and single jumps which tends to open the door for building or sass. BUT much to my delight, Tillie was a gem. This leads me to feel incredibly bad for doubting her still...call it self preservation or PTSD, but I still dont always give her the benefit of the doubt.
The moment Tillie realized we were jumping a kids toy table
I admit, I need to be better in these situations really schooling...not just hopping on jumping around and basically coasting and overly enjoying Tillie being quiet by being a big kid and turning off my brain. My equitation goes out the window, My releases arent there, I dont do as good a job setting her up...etc. So basically I need to start having more purpose jumping at home.
Tillie couldnt have been better though and we did some bending lines, some jumps here and there. She wanted to get behind my leg and contact but be quick like she has the tendency to do, but I tried realllllly hard to not fuss with her and just let her sort it out over the height I had set.
Anyway, Emma was excited and pulled out the fun kid table for us to try which Tillie didnt even blink at.
Ignore my horrid equitation...Ill be beating myself the next few jump schools to force me to be better even when "having fun".
I almost wimped out of riding on sunday after teaching all day, but realllllly glad I did because I tried a friends dressage saddle on Tillie and it was one of the better dressage schools we have had on our own that felt similar to what I get when I go to C.
Tillie could actually canter without bracing on the reins...I had no idea how wrong it felt until I felt how right it could be in a better fitting saddle. I could do lengthenings and maneuver her better in the canter...it was all just so lovely.
We ended the short ride with a quick stroll through the gremlin field (most of the horses freak out up there) But Tillie was a solid citizen and walked around cool and calm! I was so proud of her :)
So now on to try to sell my saddles so I can get a new, better fitting one :/
Just when I thought my saddles were fitted and I didnt have to worry about having a fitter well yea...I was wrong. I may need an entirely new dressage saddle. This makes me really sad. Like so sad.
I love my dressage saddle!!!
Its my very first dressage saddle...and its brown. So its unique and looks good on Tillie and she really hasnt told me shes uncomfortable in it. BUT we went to a C lesson weds and rode around and was describing to her a bit more what Tillie felt like in canter as we were working on the counter canter exercise.
I hadnt realized how chunky Tillie is until this photo...
She nodded and said if you arent in a rush, let me grab one of mine that I think will fit both of you...so off she runs and brings back a gorgeous Custom Saddlery saddle. Its the same one I actually rode in when I rode her mare Star.
I climbed on Tillie and the difference even at the walk was immediate. She had way more swing in her back and was more willing to move out. I chalked it up to just the saddle feeling new to me and since we already had an almost full lesson so she was nice and loose.
Then we moved into trot...and I found myself really having a hard time sitting the trot. Sitting trot has never been nice since we are just starting, but C started laughing because Tillie's back was just that much more loose, so it was night and day....kind of like trying to sit the trot on Star. I felt like a kid, I just couldnt do it.
All ready to go in her new halter!!!
The biggest difference of all came when C said ok now try a canter. Tillie had the most balance uphill canter...there was no leaning or bracing on the reins, it was just nice. I expressed how just awesome it felt and C said she had a hunch my saddle was causing me to tilt my pelvis down essentially riding Tillie downhill...
Munching before the lesson
So I ask her what her saddle cost....a whomping $2500 used. Le sigh. I really cant afford that right now with just buying a trailer. Of course things like this happen when you least expect them to I guess. Tillie has really filled out a lot since I first got that saddle....
Look at that thick neck!!
This image below is from the summer...she just looks so good in this tack!
Well I guess my first thing to try is have a fitter out to see if I can have my current one widened enough to fit...if not then on the hunt for a cheaper version of the one I tried.
#marefaces
Side note, my husband actually came to watch the lesson....hes maybe seen me ride less then 10 times and he was kinda adorable asking C questions. Oh and the fact she mentioned I needed a saddle in front of him so I didnt have to come home and tell him I was looking for yet another saddle. LOL
So I am trying to sell my PF dressage saddle....that one is also too narrow for Tillie :(
Its hard to remember the fact that my first jump lesson with Tillie was less then a year ago. It was in an indoor when we could only ride 1-2x a week with the frozen ground...I also have to remember that, in the not so distant past, most rides where more "exciting" then not, even when we only flatted. They were riddled with a rushing and non-rhythmic trot, exuberance in the canter and just general over the top sass. The trot rhythm and tempo being the hardest thing for us.
Still trying out this double rein thing.
I say this to remind myself because I often get stuck in where we are now and feel defeated that progress isn't happening - at least not fast enough in my mind. While I am feeling a bit less excited at the moment in both Tillie's progress and my own, I must admit that being here in the land of boring is O.K.
Sure, we are not uphill enough yet...our canter isnt balanced all the time...she jumps too flat and from the shoulder, BUT at least at this point, we are doing these things with much less attitude and more understanding of our job and what is expected.
The only sass moment from our lesson...so things are 100% boring ;)
For Tillie, trying to get her to chill the fuck out and be boring has seemed to be my number one objective all along. It has caused me to ride very defensively and Tillie to get angry which starts a viscous cycle. I watch some of my videos and tear us both to shreds and hone in on every last bit of feedback we get to the point of agonizing over it. NOT GOOD and it really isnt helping me by doing this.
What I am currently agonizing over, yet again, is her jumping form over fences and her general way of going which has the tendency to be downhill. We had our weekly jump lesson with P and she remarked how quiet Tillie looked, but she was still jumping too flat and not really pushing like she should be.
Found this gem from last winter...yes its a bit over exaggerated and Tillie taking the long spot, but its a good example of the jumping flat and not round.
Instantly I get myself all worked up because who wants to have a horse that cant jump? I mean she jumps and is super willing (sometimes way too eager) but as an eventer you want a horse that jumps well and safely for both of your sake. Ill give her credit, she is athletic enough that shes gotten by at this point and clears fences fairly easily but we are only jumping max 2'11 right now...most days closer to 2'6 or 2'7. My fear is that there will come a point this poor form will make or break whether or not shes can do this.
Leave it to me to take a perfectly fine lesson or ride and freak out...things calm down, get boring and I get all edgy and jumpy from the residual PTSD I have from the first year of owning this horse when I constantly had to look over my shoulder for a phone call she was injured yet again.
I do not like drama yet I seem to create it for myself.
The moment you forget to finish a portion of the exercise
There will always be something for us to work on. Horses and training are never ending, but I have this awful way of taking what that next thing we need to work on is and turning it into my this anxious worry that my horse wont be my partner in crime.
I want to reach my top goals on her. The far out ones like getting to a 1* and I would love for her to be a horse people see and go, man what a nice horse that is. I know the latter of that statement is me looking for validation...but I do still feel as though Tillie doesnt really get noticed when we go places and it makes me feel like maybe she isnt something special.
My weird tense riding at its finest.
I know that is my downfall and its something I should make a goal every month for the rest of the year to work on.
It doesnt help that I recently noticed a few things that are causing some concern (which seems to just make me that much more edgy and prone to being over anxious on all other things Tillie related).
Tillie has intermittently been off her grain. She always will eat her hay in her stall eagerly..but she has never been a picky eater or one to do this.
She is incredibly back sore. I feel like such a bad mom for not noticing because she hasnt been...back sore to the point I just lightly touch her and she buckles and dips so hard I worry she might fall over
Horse cant balance and stand in the freaking trailer
Tillie still seems eager to work and quiet.
I attribute #1 to the increased amount of work and more frequent hauling...I already started her on ulcer treatment BUT with her not eating her food that has it in it doesnt really do anything. I unfortunately think I need to invest in some of the paste which is like 2x more expensive.
#2 I have no idea yet what the cause is but talking with Emma shes talking me off the ledge and we are sort of leaning towards the fact shes been in much more aggressive work and jumping the most frequently she ever has. So basically like us when we start using new muscles get sore. I want to believe this to be the case with her still going so well and jumping so quietly. I fear it may be saddle fit issue, the new pelham bit or, worse yet, the hind end lameness I delt with last year possibly coming back to haunt me and its showing up here first. I have not decided my next course of action yet for this...I think I need to calm the fuck down before making any decisions or spending money of a vet if its isnt needed.
3 I will elaborate more on below...
When your horse canters over fences rather then jumps.
So back to our lesson Saturday, I had to haul us there with Emma being back in business on Izzy! Woo!! But Tillie HATES my trailer and cant stand up to save her life around turns...In another friends that is wider it isnt an issue at all. In Emmas she would mostly for slower turns after being stopped or really slow. BUT for some reason in my little straight load is the worst and you can see her shoulders flying all around, her head goes flying side to side and it just generally looks unpleasant. I have no idea why she still even loads because I KNOW how much she hates not being balanced. I have started using shipping boots for fear shes going to slice herself open in her scrambling.
I have no idea how to remedy this other then keep hauling and hope she figures it out.
Bitch please, Im fabulous
Other then that we tacked up with a lot of her looking around and just disregarding my space (a few good checks on that she was fine) and hacked up to the ring like a pro. I am so pleased with how well shes gotten this part down since the first few times she was so jumpy and jigging the entire way up there.
This was my first attempt to jump in double reins. It is really apparent I need a curb rein and my current one is way too bulky/uncomfortable, but it was good enough to attempt and P commented that this bit has really seemed to mature Tillie. She know seems to understand her job and despite occasional sass its usually when shes calling me out on something I screwed up.
Tillie went through every exercise like it was no big deal...watching back the videos from this lesson though it is really apparent just how flat and low she is jumping AND just in general my lack of equitating even on the flat. WTF?! Just a few lessons ago I felt like it was better and now my heel is up and my back is hunches and my shoulders are so tense I look like a tool.
All in all the lesson was long!! a good 2 hours at least with a lot of standing around and catching up which was wonderful...it was a solidly boring ride from Tillie made not boring from all of my woes.
so anyway here is the video mash up of some clips a student of mine capture (sorry for the poor quality, Emma and I are definitely going to put her in videoing boot camp!)
With Tillie's eye ulcer slowly healing and the medication in it forcing her to wear an eye patch...we have been forced to sit on the sidelines when it comes to jump lessons :(. So I missed another week of Dan lessons...*sigh*
I at least got to watch part of both lessons while Tillie enjoyed quite the spa day! This lovely lady though got a full work up last night including a pulled mane (in the hopes we will get an another event soon!), new shoes and adjusted saddles.
My saddles as of late have been sitting down and left...making it really really difficult to step into my right stirrup (did I mention it was really difficult?)
My jump saddle was much more pronounced with it and I constantly felt like I needed to dismount and adjust the saddle. After my 4th of July lesson in my dressage saddle, I felt slightly the same feeling by the end of the lesson and then the same the following ride in it.
Hay feeding frenzy while getting trimmed
So I managed to get my saddle fitter out and she had me ride in both for her. It was a lot of getting on and off, adjusting and trying to w/t/c both ways but by the end we had even saddles!! Poor Tillie at the beginning was cantering sideways tracking right (ok not actually sideways but it certainly felt that way!)
Despite it not really being a "training" ride, I was pleased with how she felt. I am still struggling with this new concept of outside rein doing the conversation rather then the inside, but it DOES work...so this dressage instructor must know her stuff ;).
Tillie for the first time maintained a lovely uphill canter for me until the end when she got tired and was trying to goad me into holding her for her...but with the circumstances being what they were, was pleased all the same.
