Finding the balance between the 3 phases of eventing...

...is hard! I totally understand why this sport is so challenging. In addition to galloping solid fences over various terrain in almost any weather to the technical obedience and precision of dressage and stamina of stadium. It really does test your horses rideability and your team work in all three. 

Just because I like this photo

Take the name eventing out of it for a mere moment and think of it as cross training. Coincidentally this is how I was described eventing when I first learned about it just a few short years ago. It is so incredibly beneficial for both horse and rider to have a strong foundation in dressage in order to jump well.

Trust me, I have seen the difference the dressage has made for Tillie's ability to jump up hill.

Not very uphill

yay, uphill!

I took a dressage lesson yesterday with C and what I realized a few things:

1. While Tillie has been Killing it jumping lately, our dressage isnt really as awesome as it was back when we did the fix a test 
2. I am a really crooked mess and need to see an orthopedist (No seriously...)
3. I need to find a balance in lessons where I can budget to fit more dressage in like the winter months.

Back when our dressage felt the best

Ill elaborate on all 3...

1. I recently realized flatting at home, we just didnt feel quite as relaxed, soft or willing when doing dressage. It seems to have started when our crazy weather sorta went bonkers and got super cold again...Especially when changing rein from right to tracking left. Her left bend has been SUPER stiff lately. It tends to be our trickier side usually...but there is something in the recent rides that it just feels like I cant get her to work out of it. 

I usually describe her feeling like clay. At first we get on and it requires some kneading. Massaging it to get it warm and squishy and bendable. Usually after a good warm up, she evens out and her neck and body feel like a rubber band. 

Lately I dont get it out of her. Maybe i need to revert back to how we used to warm up with the over bending and gradual warm ups...in hindsight those seemed to work well for her. 

Left bend problems

In the lesson she was hollowing out in transitions walk to trot and usually shes pretty spot on for those...canter transitions were just not clean and I felt like I was getting jostled all around. Its disappointing when it hasnt been that way, but I guess our recent jump focus has caused some of these nuances to revert. I realize that I also have been riding her as frequently the last two weeks as I should with having to teach more...so heres to hoping weekends start allowing more lessons. 

2. Most of the lesson sort of gotten hijacked just trying to get me straight. I couldnt get my weight down in my left leg and it was coming too far back behind the girth and my left shoulder kept creeping forward. When I would try to even out my body just would go haywire. My entire body is twisting and its a real struggle to get it straight. C encouraged me to go see a DR since Chiro didnt seem to help...le sigh. I guess I need to make that appointment.

My body really aches today from it...

You can sorta see me doing it here

C had me drop my right stirrup for a bit and shockingly Tillie felt better. So now its a matter of chicken or the egg. Am I causing her left side issues or is she causing me to twist or are we just not helping each other? 

I also realized that I am helping her waaayyy too much with my right rein tracking left. I am using it way too much to keep her on the track when it should be coming from my inside left leg. BUT with me not getting weight into it, that would make sense why I am compensating. 

It became really apparent in our leg yields in the lesson. C was super impressed regardless at how well she did with them, but leg yielding tracking right to left she really didnt want to stay parallel to the wall (ahem, left leg not working and my right hand cant fix this). 

Because she's cute

This all leads me to #3. I think most of the above issues are stemming from my lessons with C being way too spaced out. With jumping confidence issues being a fairly recent thing which allowed me to try P and take those jump lessons....I think it was exactly what I needed to get back on track. I plan to continue lessons with her, but in order to afford more dressage lessons with C I may need to cut back on the P lessons. 

I will definitely watch it, and maybe this is a for now type thing...but dressage is the foundation for the rest of it. That needs to not suffer. My confidence in Tillie over fences is there, but it does stem to how much I can trust her on the flat and lately its been back to the rushing, bracing and baiting me into hands type stuff. I want to get back to that sweet spot in dressage where she almost feels like a push ride and I have a good contact, not this fake contact where shell suck back at any minute. 

Recent dressage lesson = TONS of homework

Continuing on my recap from the weekend...it also includes my Sunday dressage lesson. I dont normally do lessons on Sundays other then teaching my own lessons, but with it being overcast and a bit drizzly I jumped at the shot to slip in an opening that C had right after Emma had her lesson.

So we hitched a ride with Emma and I am thankful she got Tillie loaded up for me while I finished up with my last few lessons. After a bit of rushing around, it turned out C was running really late so I made it long before Emma got on and was able to watch hers! She'll be recapping her own lesson on her blog I am sure soon - here.

An indication of how our lesson went...a tired and itchy Tillie

I mentioned in my Part 1 recap from Saturday's lesson that lately I have felt Tillie falling back into the old habit of wanting to put herself in a safe zone and not being all that agreeable when I ask to change that. She'll happily go around straight, bent to the inside, high or low but once I put her there, that is where she wants to stay. She is quite smart and only recently did I figure out this is what she was doing rather then just being stiff or harder one way vs another etc. 

C pointed this out right away and said that while its a much better place shes putting herself in, we still need to be able to adjust her more readily and have more give at any time. So we went right to work and I can summarize all I can hear in my brain after the warm up:

1. Push her around the inside leg even more - SO much freakin inside leg
2. Watch out for a stiff right hand, but open and close to have more bend in both elbows especially the left (nice to know I have issues on both sides)
3. My left shoulder creeps forward making me crooked/twisted in my torso
4. Dont be afraid to take the rain until she softens BUT I must soften and follow her back

 Tillie had a few moments of "No I dont think so" before she settled into a nice rhythm and really started to dig into work. She was so into it, her vibe was contagious and I felt a bit like the little engine that could as if she were thinking "I think I can" over and over.

C had us going on a 20 M circle spiraling into a smaller circle focusing on really getting her to give and wrap around my inside leg before using a fairly quick leg yield to push her out without losing the shoulders. Here is where we talked about leg use and keeping it longer when applying it since I have the old habit of lifting my heel and my leg then shrinks about 6". Ok maybe not THAT short, but its a bad habit among many others I need to break.

Here is a video of warm up...notice Tillie really starting to dig it by the end of the clip:

After the warm up we continued trotting but started asking for leg yields, but really quick lateral ones to promote getting her out of her comfort zone. Tillie was all business. 

It felt really good and still amazes me how well she is progressing despite not riding at all during the week with our ring still frozen. After a bit of a break which had a lot less rude pulling and rooting then usual, C had me start back up said, "ok, now sit your trot"

Lol I made a face apparently because she laughed and said everyone makes that face!

Being fairly new to sitting a trot where my horse is actually going...it is not the most pleasant thing in the world. Ill admit, I feel as though I am riding it ok, until I watch the videos. The amount of discomfort that I am emulating is so apparent I was uncomfortable just watching it:

At this point, Emma started filming since my phone died. C  prompted for me to canter (I love how we will be going along and rides as you go and gives us commands a few strides before she wants it). Sadly we missed capturing on video the first and most wonderful right lead canter transition. It took both Tillie and myself by surprise that C even laughed and said it was all over my face.

C had us move onto leg yielding in canter to get her more mobile and rideable in canter. At this point its been all about the basics of balancing her and keep her from diving on the forehand...so it felt really good to receive a command that required taking our canter to the next step - which as you can tell in this clip Tillie wasnt quite prepared for: 

What I have loved about the sitting trot despite how uncomfortable it is, is how much it has helped me get a better feel in the canter. I can only describe it as me feeling more balanced and stuck in the saddle which allows me to use my seat to better help Tillie. The leg yields in the canter were quite fun! Tillie gained a bit of speed through them, but it didnt feel too bad with how soft she was. 

So we moved on the left lead canter which is our harder and weaker lead. C guided me on how to use a better timed half halt to get her more balanced and using herself better without me grabbing and bracing on her. 

It produced quite a nice canter and we were able to do some of the maneuvering from this lead as well. At the end C had us try some lengethings in the trot across our diagonals to promote testing the boundaries of balance which Tillie tends to err on the side of caution. You can see in the clips she gets a bit unsettled and really doesnt let go of her shoulder just yet in them...but C reassured me it would take some time for her to trust herself to just ride very straight, weight even and both elbows stay at my body. 

The lots of homework part includes:

• Taking Tillie big around the entire ring to test try to get her trusting lengthenings more
• Sitting trot there is no head wag which means rising trot happens from tension on my arms
• Bring my left shoulder back/straighter
• MORE inside leg and MORE bend to get her out of the safety zone
• Sitting trot practice rocking back more and letting my "crotch bounce" 
• Stretchy trot (which we did a few circles of here)

Poor Tillie was so tired after trying so hard she was ready to go to sleep:

Trying new things and feeling like a goober

Despite the poor weather forecast, the rain subsided to allow for a cloudy, yet warm evening. I chose to put off some freelance work a bit longer and go put in a ride I have been putting off...trying the double reins on the pelham. 

The pelham has been a bit we have been using over fences as of late in P lessons on Saturdays...it really has helped to get that rebalancing half halt even with the bit converters. P has recommended playing with the double reins to really get the full action of the bit so we can try it XC weather permitting once I feel ready. 

Note Tillie's excitement.

Now, fellow blooger and barn mate Emma, has been an awesome cheerleader and reassuring it would not be as bad as I was making it out to be. So I planned a night I knew she would be there for moral support. 

I do not have flat curb reins yet in order to make sure this bit really is going to stick around...so I used some old dressage reins which are in desperate need of a cleaning and very stiff. The snaffle reins I stuck with what I was familiar with - my thinline reins. 

Warming up a bit...pretty sure I am laughing at myself at this point.

We head down to the ring and Emma did a brief overview of different ways to hold the reins and gave some pointers...thank goodness because I got on, looked down and thought: "Oh my god, that is a lot of leather"

Trying to figure out the feel between the snaffle and curb was a bit odd, let alone trying to shorten one or the other independently. I guess that will come with time, practice and technique. Other then that, it wasnt all that strange to have both sets once we started walking around. 

I think she looks quite grown up and like a real dressage horse!

Tillie instantly felt really supple and easy to maneuver...Not sure if it was the bit or not, though I am hoping I wasn't using the curb rein action yet. So we moved up into trot and she again was super responsive despite the flurry of activity around us (There was a lesson and a few lease riders in the ring). Clearly, Tillie is more agreeable in the warmer weather. 

I played a little at this point shortening and lengthening the reins trying not to catch her too much with the curb. Once I felt it was as good as it was going to get for the evening there, I warmed up into canter. Her canter depart has felt a bit sticky as of late...I partially think its my cue timing issue and her missing my cue. I also feel like her canter isnt strong at all (or I am finally realizing/able to feel it) and she really isnt sitting. She gets by on being naturally balanced to a degree, but its definitely something I need to work on in coming rides. 

Hey there uphill trot...where have you been all year!?

Besides that, her canter felt really easy to navigate and keep inside bend unlike usual. So yay for a win there! I tried really hard in canter and trot to have soft elbows to open and close...but rewatching some of these videos I realize it still isnt enough.

Despite that, she seemed pretty darn consistent. I was having way too much fun and almost called it a day when Emma suggested trying some ground poles both at the trot and canter. By this point the double reins werent too noticeable, but I did frequently try to check where the tension was and be sure it was off the snaffle so I only had tension on the curb IF needed. It came in handy with the poles...

The trot I fully expected her to build which is a tendency of hers through poles...often times leaving in canter. Not sure if she knew I had the pelham on or if I was accidentally using the curb but as you can see in the video below, she held it together and looked like she knew what was up. 

So to make things interesting we tried in canter. She got a bit forward the first attempt on each lead and the first try on left lead she did a flying over the last pole to land on the incorrect, right lead...I figure that was a weight placement issue on my end because the next time through she handled it beautifully. 

At this point I was having so much fun I sort of just threw in a mixed bag of sitting trot/changing rein then posting trot across the diagonal to see how well she would handle "building" but coming back. At one point in the video you can see how smart she is and catches on, tries to go ahead a build across the diagonal without me asking to which I quickly shut down and asked for a smaller trot instead.

Love how canter poles create the front end lift for me!

What was so wonderful about this ride was Tillie had so much try and willingness it was almost freaky. Any small amount of resistance I got was simply a lack of understanding, strength or just unsure. With some insistence on my part, she quickly would go OK fine. 

Left bend still REALLY gives me a hard time to get her straight, without twisting her poll, just bending the neck or her losing the right side. I do believe it stems from my crookedness because as soon as i concentrate on evening my seat bones and watch my twisting it seems to remedy itself. 

YAWN! Worked sooooo hard.

It is uncharacteristically warm - which I am NOT complaining about, but it did mean having a super sweaty Tillie by the end of our ride...so I got to blow dry her for the first time using our electrogroom! Tillie has been vacuumed with it before, so was a bit shocked at first at the different sensation and was a perfect lady standing for it...just was very expressive in her faces to tell us how she felt. She was so extremely cuddly too it was hard to resist. 

So cuddly after the ride with Auntie Meri (Miseventer) 

So there is my recap on my night of a few firsts....here is some footage of our ride towards the end:

The dreaded goals projection post

I have been sort of putting off writing this post because I was so off base in my goals for last year, that I really worry that I can't set realistic goals for us on either end of the spectrum. I dont want to set any too easy but dont want to set them so they are unattainable like I did this year.

Felt like we had more rides like this then rides without

This last year with Tillie has been one that has felt extremely frustrating for a number of reasons...in hindsight I now see it was a year of tremendous growth, but it hasnt really caught up to me until recently ever since starting lessons with P. Check out my year in review post here.

Many days I would repeat "I love my pony" to remind myself why I do this.

I learned this year that I hold myself to the standards of a professional rider and finally learned how ridiculous that is within the last two months. Since letting some of that pressure go, I have found I can breath a little more, laugh at our mistakes and it certainly has seemed to allow some stars to start aligning for us.

Who knew I could actually smile when riding?

I am so thankful for the new horse friends I have gained this year...I know I had a lot of lows of really beating myself up and questioned whether or not Tillie was the right fit for me. It was a lonely place made not so lonely by words of encouragement insisting I keep trying and not to give up.

Well here goes....my best attempt to outline goals for 2o16:

1. Get a stronger half halt off my seat
2. Get over my fear of down banks and riding down hills
3. Show in at least 1 dressage show
4. Show in at least 2 jumper shows
5. Show in at least 5 eventing ST (no matter what level) 
6. XC school more and have a horse that doesnt take off after or between fences 
7. Try to even out my crookedness issues
8. Release more over fences
9. Ride more geometrically/planned in training rides
10. Gallop Tillie at home in the field without losing our minds
11. Get BN to where all three phases include a horse that is listening and I feel confident
12. Move up to Novice
13. Trail ride more

Dressage lesson when your sick = hardest thing ever

Clearly I do not know how to rest up and take it easy...and I was in denial I was sick. So decided Tuesday I would try to suck it up and go to a dressage lesson. C is always great about positional corrections for me while making sure Tillie is doing her job correctly so figured it was the best place for my first ride back on in over a week. 

Tillie showing off her new boots. 

I was so proud of Tillie loading up since we took a friend's green bean horse who wanted nothing to do with loading. Tillie was the adult in this situation (thank god) and was a gem. Patiently waited and went on and off the trailer a few times in the hopes this other horse would load with her on, then maybe without her on....etc.

Yessss I so good! 

So I get on and immediately feel the same old crooked issue with my body...Where I feel like my left leg is longer then my right and constantly feel like I need to shift my weight to the right as if my saddle is crooked. This happens in all saddles...some more then others. I tried to not let it get to me too quickly and just do my best to adjust.

Our walk work was minimal and C instantly remarked how well that looked. Not too fast but not too slow...my first lessons with C the walk was rushed and then it became too slow in the next few. Tillie has the tendency to answer things in this way and sllllowwwly come to the middle eventually.

We started trotting and she felt really consistent but my arms felt like they weighed a ton. I believe now this was just from being sick/tired because riding since then each ride I have slowly regained my strength and its much improved. We warmed up with some leg yielding off the quarter line and I expressed my left bend issue of how she tricks me.

So we worked on riding more off my outside rein to close that door for when she likes to fall out and lose the outside shoulder and really use more inside leg to wake up the trot. Rides like these when I need more forward trot tend to mess with my head since I am so ingrained to slow it all down...but HEY new problems means progress right?!

We then spent some time discussing stretchy trot and worked on this with Tillie since I had left off working on that. Low and behold Tillie gave me the most wonderful willingness to stretch and all it took was taking a bit more of the inside rein and letting the outside slip out. Riding with wide hands when she loses the connection, and bring them together and forward as she stretches. Sounds so simple lol but it worked!

Psh this is no big deal any more mom!

There was a lot of commotion with it being feeding time at this point and I was so proud of Tillie for not going full giraffe mode like normal and stayed focused in work mode. 

We moved on to canter work which felt sooo strange to me. Not riding for over a week has a funny way of making it all seem foreign...but C said again she thought she looked pretty good and we would start working now on introducing a counter canter exercise to prep for that. 

I struggled a bit understanding at first what she wanted which led to a confused Tillie...and she really let me know how unfair it was at one point. C wanted us cantering and after the corner present like we were going to do a diagonal change of rein, but then by the center of the ring, still be on the quarter line and present Tillie back to the corner. 

Drawing it out makes more sense then explaining it

I was riding too deep and going all the way to the center line and when I heard C say no too deep I would panick and go back to the wall which confused Tillie and would result some of the time getting a flying change (which I have no idea how to ride or ask for yet...lol so good to know they are there!) and my balance and weight being all wrong and Tillie just getting pissed at me for getting in her way. 

BUT I finally understood it when C walked it for me...lol yes I was having that much of an issue and was clearly on the struggle bus and it produced such a wonderful canter by the end. 

It was clear at this point too, but crookedness issue was part of what was making this exercise so hard which C agreed and imbalance will get called out and show up in lateral work. So I need to go back to yoga and rebuild back to how strong I was before getting sick to catch myself back up. 

C left me with one more exercise where I would try an extended trot across the diagonal and then trot a 10 m circle to get her back to get Tillie sitting and lifting with a bit more forward and balanced and back to slow and balanced which is hard for her, and to test my evenness in both stirrups. 

The first two times Tillie broke to canter. The first time was right lead canter and then left because I over corrected. The last few times doing it was the coolest feeling...while it wasnt 100% correct extended trot C was excited we had a few steps of Tillie really sitting and toeing the line with the toe flick...she said you could really see Tillie testing her balance here and was impressed with how quickly she got comfortable doing it.

Tillie on the left ignoring the baby horse quivering and her shennanigans