I cant believe how long its been since I have addressed my goals...but my last post (from MAY!!) can be found here.
I have removed my ongoing ones that will never go away like my crookedness issues and such, but adding what I am focusing on at this point. My last goal post has tons of things that should always and forever remain my "goal" but for the purpose of this post, Ill be listing what is in the forefront of my mind.
ME:
Heels down on landing from jumps - its gotten better, but still is happening
from july 2 show see those heels...and gripping of my thigh?
Softer, quiet hands all around both in dressage and jumping - Tillie doesnt need all the help anymore so I need to leave her alone when shes doing her job
Better timing of aids for newer movements (aka shoulder in)
Stop using so much inside rein!!!
Chin up when jumping (new pics show I still am looking down on some fences)
Dont be so frustrated with the growing pains
at Loch moy last weekend: See my eyes...I should be looking up at the horizon, but Im looking at the ground on the other side of the fence somewhere...
The last bulleted goal is one i havent had to list in a while...I am lucky in so many ways because its been smooth sailing. When I first started feeling the frustrations sink in during lessons I was able to walk away positive still and know it takes growing pains to grow. I know its time for them...weve been coasting here for a while and I just need to be sure they dont take away from my confidence.
Any blip, fall or negative moment has the capability of taking a piece of the good. I am trying my hardest not to allow it to and spin it in a positive light, just like the fall last weekend. I dont want to ignore them...because feelings have a way of getting way more magnified if you do, but at this point, I am feeling ok and know full well what the frustrations are meaning. In the past I think I didnt have the hope along with it.
As for Tillie:
TILLIE:
Improve right hind weakness - this is being added after the SI lesson
Watch the haunches swinging in when asking for bend
Gallop more uphill (adding this back in too but it has improved...)
It seems like not so many here...but shes been sooo on point. Most of her issues stem from me. So my goals obviously are more stacked.
I am hopeful for what the rest of the season holds...While I have some doubt again, I am not discouraged. As of now its motivating me to be better!
Sheesh...can you believe its been since MARCH (Read the full post here) that I published goals?! Totally dropped the ball on that one, but hey better late than never right?
remember back when this bank was terrifying to me!?
With our first novice starter trial under our belts and two more already entered, one of them recognized (eeeek!), I am really trying to dig down and make sure things stay positive for us. I want to ensure we keep things feeling good, keeping in mind some challenges may arise, but try to see things from the bigger picture. I dont want to focus on the level we are so much as, is it feeling good? Is Tillie really responding how she should be and happy to? I am stressing this so much because last year we lost sight of that and it wasnt fun...it was just hard all the time. Not that riding isnt lol, but it should be fun some of the time right!?
Trying to avoid moments like this would be great
First lets talk goals:
ME:
Work on my crookedness issues (This one I am keeping...but think this will be a forever thing. I really do think at this point it was more a wrong saddle for me issue
Ride the outside aids more - Its getting there, but still need to figure out what degree of "heaviness" in the reins I like for Tillie and I
Improve sitting trot - Dont think this is going away anytime soon
Wait with my shoulders if I dont see a distance- basically my nemisis
Better timing on the half halt - will i ever cross this one off?!
Heels down more on landing after jumps - i want this to be more consistent especially when she jumps so powerful
Ride the canter more brave and comfortably (ll gaits for that matter)
Dont get handsy before a fence
Get braver and ride the more forward distance
Release more!!
be braver about down hill terrain and down banks - Definitely conqured this last weekend...will always be something I dont like and im sure will resurface
Let Tillie go more forward and trust her
Canter fences!!!! no more trotting everything
NEW GOALS:
Keep my chin up over fences and look ahead to my next fence
DONT GET AHEAD
Get comfortable riding the larger gaits
Do not "fight" with tillie when she falls in or out, simply open the rein but dont pull back
Needing my position to be more solid really will come in handy as we start jumping this big stuff!
TILLIE:
Improve right hind weakness
Get stretchy trot more confirmed - Im not crossing this off just yet. Its more consistent but not quite enough for me to say its confirmed
Get the right shoulder lifting more - get both shoulders lifting more (shes been changing which one she falls in on...lately its been left)
Jump more uphill more of the time - getting there
Stretch more over fences - getting there
Gallop/canter more uphill
Jump without looking at the jumps all the way over so its more uphill
Be able to boldy jump skinnier fences and brush without hesitation
NEW GOALS
Dont let her fall in on turns in stadium or fall through the outside rein
Get extended trot tracking off a right turn quicker to build like off the left
Canter transitions without turning into a giraffe
Keep the same relaxation when doing a test as in warm up
How I want us both to jumo every single fence
Sorry those are a lot of goals to get through!! I know I could list more...but at least some are scratching off!
Now for what my competition season goals / schedule looks like in terms of starter events vs recognized.
I have discussed this in great length with a few different trainers...Our first novice felt good. REALLY good and to really make sure we keep things feeling good we want to enter another starter trial at the end of this month confirming us at this level, but this time at a venue that hosts recognized shows. As much as I wanted to go to a starter on the same day with my barn friends so we could all compete together, my trainer strongly encouraged me to do Loch Moy because they host recognized events therefore we will get a better taste of what to expect at one.
I also entered a recognized event July 11th because the closing date was before Loch Moy. My trainers also said go for it and thinks we are ready...which I was a bit nervous about entering this before doing another novice event BUT both trainers said they felt we were ready.
Why enter a recognized? They are over double the price as a starter trial, I have to braid and if we royally fuck up, its on our record...
sooo much money
Well in short my trainer asked me, why go through a move up AND experiencing your first recognized all at once?
Now that we are at novice level...my immediate goal is to get us confirmed here. Keep it feeling good and obviously think about how to keep us feeling that way. I know all too easily how quickly confidence can go right out the window. BUT with that said, the next level is Training level. I will only move up to it when we both feel 100% ready and really am committed to not rushing us at all. I have learned this last year it really isnt about the level. Sure we tend to make a level our goal, but for me its turned more into how we are feeling with what we are doing. I do not want to regress to that awful place last year...but I also do still maintain goals to getting to the higher levels so have to think about the safest and happiest way for us to get there.
feeling happy and brave like this all the time at this height
While Training level is not a level I intend to move up to right now, I need to think of how to make it as successful as this first move up to novice was and talking with my trainers, there are very few starter events offering training level. Sure there are some, but I will definitely not be able to skirt around doing recognized any more when that happens.
So the thought is to start doing them now and make the whole braiding thing and heightened competition a little bit more comfortable like we've been working towards with showing in general.
The plan is to stay here at novice right now and test ourselves here so it feels like no big deal. Keep it feeling good and not shy away from recognized or harder events. When we achieve that AND have the go ahead from our trainers we will start throwing out the idea of a move up...but for now, we will be rocking it at novice.
So back in December, I published goals and would like to try to establish monthly goals (see the post here). With the crazy weather we have had this winter, I sort of slipped in keeping up on choosing and writing about them...but here is my best attempt to try again.
Remember when this goal? to canter a fence in stride without holding or using reins for tempo?
This was the first time being able to do that and it was HUGE!
Here is a recap of my December goals:
Learn how to ride in double reins in the pelhamCheck! In fact, I havent needed to jump in it for a while now :) Lets hope it stays that way once we go back to the outdoor ring again.
Ride at least 4x per week despite work being nutty this month - This didnt exactly happen all winter, but the weather and a frozen ring were the culprit
Improve auto/crest release - I think this is improving, but it needs to be more second nature before I consider this accomplished. Especially after our twisting and turning jump lesson when my release wasnt that great.
even here hands are still stuck right at her wither.
Get Tillie more maneuverable in canter I am considering this done after our last dressage lesson(recap here), although I dont think we are confirmed with this goal yet...we did achieve it so the goal is now to maintain it!
UPDATED MONTHLY GOALS: (Pending weather)
Ride at least 2 days on crummy weather weeks, but at least 3-4 days if it isnt bad weather
Heels down over fences, especially on landing
Improve release over fences (maybe fold more in the hip without getting too quick with my upper body?)
I am trying to limit my goals so they are more attainable...but the last one # 3 is where Id like to start a discussion, but Ill save that for my blog post tomorrow.
Continuing on my recap from the weekend...it also includes my Sunday dressage lesson. I dont normally do lessons on Sundays other then teaching my own lessons, but with it being overcast and a bit drizzly I jumped at the shot to slip in an opening that C had right after Emma had her lesson.
So we hitched a ride with Emma and I am thankful she got Tillie loaded up for me while I finished up with my last few lessons. After a bit of rushing around, it turned out C was running really late so I made it long before Emma got on and was able to watch hers! She'll be recapping her own lesson on her blog I am sure soon - here.
An indication of how our lesson went...a tired and itchy Tillie
I mentioned in my Part 1 recap from Saturday's lesson that lately I have felt Tillie falling back into the old habit of wanting to put herself in a safe zone and not being all that agreeable when I ask to change that. She'll happily go around straight, bent to the inside, high or low but once I put her there, that is where she wants to stay. She is quite smart and only recently did I figure out this is what she was doing rather then just being stiff or harder one way vs another etc.
C pointed this out right away and said that while its a much better place shes putting herself in, we still need to be able to adjust her more readily and have more give at any time. So we went right to work and I can summarize all I can hear in my brain after the warm up:
Push her around the inside leg even more - SO much freakin inside leg
Watch out for a stiff right hand, but open and close to have more bend in both elbows especially the left (nice to know I have issues on both sides)
My left shoulder creeps forward making me crooked/twisted in my torso
Dont be afraid to take the rain until she softens BUT I must soften and follow her back
Tillie had a few moments of "No I dont think so" before she settled into a nice rhythm and really started to dig into work. She was so into it, her vibe was contagious and I felt a bit like the little engine that could as if she were thinking "I think I can" over and over.
C had us going on a 20 M circle spiraling into a smaller circle focusing on really getting her to give and wrap around my inside leg before using a fairly quick leg yield to push her out without losing the shoulders. Here is where we talked about leg use and keeping it longer when applying it since I have the old habit of lifting my heel and my leg then shrinks about 6". Ok maybe not THAT short, but its a bad habit among many others I need to break.
Here is a video of warm up...notice Tillie really starting to dig it by the end of the clip:
After the warm up we continued trotting but started asking for leg yields, but really quick lateral ones to promote getting her out of her comfort zone. Tillie was all business.
It felt really good and still amazes me how well she is progressing despite not riding at all during the week with our ring still frozen. After a bit of a break which had a lot less rude pulling and rooting then usual, C had me start back up said, "ok, now sit your trot"
Lol I made a face apparently because she laughed and said everyone makes that face!
Being fairly new to sitting a trot where my horse is actually going...it is not the most pleasant thing in the world. Ill admit, I feel as though I am riding it ok, until I watch the videos. The amount of discomfort that I am emulating is so apparent I was uncomfortable just watching it:
At this point, Emma started filming since my phone died. C prompted for me to canter (I love how we will be going along and rides as you go and gives us commands a few strides before she wants it). Sadly we missed capturing on video the first and most wonderful right lead canter transition. It took both Tillie and myself by surprise that C even laughed and said it was all over my face.
C had us move onto leg yielding in canter to get her more mobile and rideable in canter. At this point its been all about the basics of balancing her and keep her from diving on the forehand...so it felt really good to receive a command that required taking our canter to the next step - which as you can tell in this clip Tillie wasnt quite prepared for:
What I have loved about the sitting trot despite how uncomfortable it is, is how much it has helped me get a better feel in the canter. I can only describe it as me feeling more balanced and stuck in the saddle which allows me to use my seat to better help Tillie. The leg yields in the canter were quite fun! Tillie gained a bit of speed through them, but it didnt feel too bad with how soft she was.
So we moved on the left lead canter which is our harder and weaker lead. C guided me on how to use a better timed half halt to get her more balanced and using herself better without me grabbing and bracing on her.
It produced quite a nice canter and we were able to do some of the maneuvering from this lead as well. At the end C had us try some lengethings in the trot across our diagonals to promote testing the boundaries of balance which Tillie tends to err on the side of caution. You can see in the clips she gets a bit unsettled and really doesnt let go of her shoulder just yet in them...but C reassured me it would take some time for her to trust herself to just ride very straight, weight even and both elbows stay at my body.
The lots of homework part includes:
Taking Tillie big around the entire ring to test try to get her trusting lengthenings more
Sitting trot there is no head wag which means rising trot happens from tension on my arms
Bring my left shoulder back/straighter
MORE inside leg and MORE bend to get her out of the safety zone
Sitting trot practice rocking back more and letting my "crotch bounce"
Stretchy trot (which we did a few circles of here)
Poor Tillie was so tired after trying so hard she was ready to go to sleep:
So here is part two from my Saturday lesson (see part 1 here) - This is the overcoming obstacles and self doubt part. As I said in my last post, I wasnt super excited with my lesson...it wasnt bad, but I didnt feel like we knocked it out of the park either. I know I know...less than stellar rides happen but I am sure you can all tell I am bit of a crazy lady and have a hard time feeling good even when I should about a ride.
Before I continue, I am sharing some stills from the lesson that made me, in retrospect, feel a lot better about our ride:
Tillie and I getting it!
------------------------------ Part 2 ----------------------------- So at the end of the lesson, just like P always does, she asked if anyone else wanted to do or try anything else. I usually dont say anything...but I reallllly did want to try the barrels after I saw Emma post about her lesson that she went to on a weekday (I had this pesky thing called work so sadly couldnt go). So in true, FOMO I was dying to try...but wasnt going to speak up until, like a true friend, my barnmate did since she know how badly I wanted to try.
warming up before the lesson
P is so sweet and let our lesson run over and started to set up the barrels. For me, doing these barrels symbolizes overcoming a major obstacle and fear...I wanted to do it because neither Tillie or I have done these so knew it would be a test of our relationship and groundwork from the last few months.
Shockingly, as she was setting up, I thought I would be more nervous...the only tiny bit was evident when I asked P to set us up one small barrel on its side to start with just to familiarize Tillie with it.
Tillie Didnt care!
So after we cantered the small barrel P shouted, ok keep coming!!! Which in hindsight was a good thing since it sort of gave us a rhythm to start with.
Approaching the barrels, my thought wasnt, oh god thats big...it was more or less, thats skinny and interesting looking. I know If I find it odd to look at, so will Tillie so I just breathed it out sat back and allowed her to look at it on the approach:
So we kinda missed it at first...but I LOVE this mare for being so game. She never offered to stop or change her pace. She kept going forward, just got a bit wiggly. So new goal: start jumping low skinnies to teach her to look for the jump rather then look for the other side.
So we land (Tillie seemed not to be too rattled) and around we come for the 2nd try...This Time I was was more prepared and closed both legs around her. She faltered a little again and jumped them a little off to the left this time:
Talk about being brave and getting it done...
Ok so we know we need to try again and hope we get it just right in the middle this time and finally things clicked into place:
Just in case you missed it i have TWO angles of it:
P wanted us to try again...so we did. It didnt end on quite as awesome since we couldnt seem to find the right distance the last two attempts, but I definitely seem to have mastered the eventing equitation of stay in the back seat and let the reins slip:
Tillie was very proud of herself and celebrated around the turn...but it was reasonable and a perfectly acceptable one! HUGE progress for Tillie...especially since landing from a gappy distance like this in the past would send her on a full rampage.
Pats for Tillie!!
A few things came to light through doing this:
My horse is awesomely game and brave
We need to work on teaching her to look for the fence itself rather then the other side
I need to not get ahead with my shoulders - which is the reason for the gappy distances
I need to work on folding and being softer in my hip (being defensive is all great, but sitting that upright just looks ridiculous)
Tillie REALLY likes her job
Ears back ready for more!
The majestic tail flip
See - upright position, but hey Tillie is stretching!
not enough release here, stiff upper body and not folding enough for the height.
just another angle
So all in all I was really excited with giving this a shot. It really showed how Tillie and I have gotten to know each other and faced this obstacle together...this really helped my self doubt in our abilities and talent. While I am sure Ill still doubt, for now I am just happy with how willing she is to try for me!
I have been sort of putting off writing this post because I was so off base in my goals for last year, that I really worry that I can't set realistic goals for us on either end of the spectrum. I dont want to set any too easy but dont want to set them so they are unattainable like I did this year.
Felt like we had more rides like this then rides without
This last year with Tillie has been one that has felt extremely frustrating for a number of reasons...in hindsight I now see it was a year of tremendous growth, but it hasnt really caught up to me until recently ever since starting lessons with P. Check out my year in review post here.
Many days I would repeat "I love my pony" to remind myself why I do this.
I learned this year that I hold myself to the standards of a professional rider and finally learned how ridiculous that is within the last two months. Since letting some of that pressure go, I have found I can breath a little more, laugh at our mistakes and it certainly has seemed to allow some stars to start aligning for us.
Who knew I could actually smile when riding?
I am so thankful for the new horse friends I have gained this year...I know I had a lot of lows of really beating myself up and questioned whether or not Tillie was the right fit for me. It was a lonely place made not so lonely by words of encouragement insisting I keep trying and not to give up.
Well here goes....my best attempt to outline goals for 2o16:
Get a stronger half halt off my seat
Get over my fear of down banks and riding down hills
Show in at least 1 dressage show
Show in at least 2 jumper shows
Show in at least 5 eventing ST (no matter what level)
XC school more and have a horse that doesnt take off after or between fences
Try to even out my crookedness issues
Release more over fences
Ride more geometrically/planned in training rides
Gallop Tillie at home in the field without losing our minds
Get BN to where all three phases include a horse that is listening and I feel confident
