One trainer, two trainer, three trainer, four...

Jumping back to the clinic and how much it helped Tillie and I...not to mention my elation at trying someone new, it sparked a conversation with some barn goers questions just how many trainers I have and why the need for soooo many? The answer isnt simple, but the simple one I gave is, it works for us. 

Totally working for us

I work full time, freelance design and web work in addition to teaching beginner horseback riding lessons to sustain my hobby of competing my own 7 year old off the track thoroughbred mare. If it sounds like an impossibly fully loaded schedule, that's because it is! 

Being accident prone certainly didnt help us

When I do squeeze in riding my mare, Tillie, I want to make every second count. I take my riding seriously, but by the middle of the show season last year I found myself feeling not so great and realized I wasn't really enjoying it. Half the time I was riding scared of what antics Tillie would pull in her exuberance and I always felt a bit let down that I couldn't handle it. We had few falls and near misses during last year that took a bit of a toll on my confidence which didn't help either. It forced me to question whether or not Tillie and I were the right fit for one another and if I needed a been-there-done-that mount to show me around the sport of eventing.

Sass moments like these were typical every single ride

This winter I committed to pouring every penny I made into carting us to lessons with more than one instructor. The goal was to try to figure out what worked for us and if we could form a team through more understanding and knowledge. Slowly, things started to smooth out in conjunction with Tillie becoming more of an adult rather than a reactive baby. 

All business now!

I currently ride with more trainers and instructors than I have saddles (I have 4 to be exact but don't tell my husband). While some people may think this is too many and prefer one steady program, I say do what works for you. This system has done wonders for Tillie and my own confidence. I actually have a ridable horse that I can trust more of the time.

Like trusting her enough to jump this big cross country

I have a fabulous dressage trainer that has made understanding the technicality of dressage so accessible. I have to work hard at it and riding was never a naturally easy thing for me, but she makes me feel like we can do it. I also have a fabulous jump trainer that puts us through some pretty intense grids and exercises but in such a relaxed atmosphere it made all the difference from a crazed overly excited Tillie and a tense me, to going around 3ft courses like it's just another day. She has made the largest impact on my confidence and ability to trust Tillie. I have a cross country and jump trainer who I learn so much about being a professional in the sport and how to ride a young, developing horse...while this trainer doesnt exactly hold my hand, they challenge me to be a better rider. This trainer also happens to be my role model and watching this person ride...its amazing how easy it looks. I want to become a quiet efficient and effective rider like that. 

Finally, all these other trainers I try for clinics or random lessons...they seem to help to really catapult us to a new level of understanding something we have been hearing from our routine trainers, but because its from someone new it resonates more. 

In conclusion....do what works for you and your horse. Have 1 trainer have 20! But at the end of the day, its all about feeling good and we know how fickle that feeling can be.

Overcoming obstacles (including self doubt)

So here is part two from my Saturday lesson (see part 1 here) - This is the overcoming obstacles and self doubt part. As I said in my last post, I wasnt super excited with my lesson...it wasnt bad, but I didnt feel like we knocked it out of the park either. I know I know...less than stellar rides happen but I am sure you can all tell I am bit of a crazy lady and have a hard time feeling good even when I should about a ride. 

Before I continue, I am sharing some stills from the lesson that made me, in retrospect, feel a lot better about our ride:

Tillie and I getting it!

 ------------------------------ Part 2 ----------------------------- 

So at the end of the lesson, just like P always does, she asked if anyone else wanted to do or try anything else. I usually dont say anything...but I reallllly did want to try the barrels after I saw Emma post about her lesson that she went to on a weekday (I had this pesky thing called work so sadly couldnt go).  

So in true, FOMO I was dying to try...but wasnt going to speak up until, like a true friend, my barnmate did since she know how badly I wanted to try.

warming up before the lesson

P is so sweet and let our lesson run over and started to set up the barrels. For me, doing these barrels symbolizes overcoming a major obstacle and fear...I wanted to do it because neither Tillie or I have done these so knew it would be a test of our relationship and groundwork from the last few months.

Shockingly, as she was setting up, I thought I would be more nervous...the only tiny bit was evident when I asked P to set us up one small barrel on its side to start with just to familiarize Tillie with it.

Tillie Didnt care! 

So after we cantered the small barrel P shouted, ok keep coming!!! Which in hindsight was a good thing since it sort of gave us a rhythm to start with.

Approaching the barrels, my thought wasnt, oh god thats big...it was more or less, thats skinny and interesting looking. I know If I find it odd to look at, so will Tillie so I just breathed it out sat back and allowed her to look at it on the approach:

So we kinda missed it at first...but I LOVE this mare for being so game. She never offered to stop or change her pace. She kept going forward, just got a bit wiggly. So new goal: start jumping low skinnies to teach her to look for the jump rather then look for the other side.

So we land (Tillie seemed not to be too rattled) and around we come for the 2nd try...This Time I was was more prepared and closed both legs around her. She faltered a little again and jumped them a little off to the left this time:

Talk about being brave and getting it done...

Ok so we know we need to try again and hope we get it just right in the middle this time and finally things clicked into place:

Just in case you missed it i have TWO angles of it:

P wanted us to try again...so we did. It didnt end on quite as awesome since we couldnt seem to find the right distance the last two attempts, but I definitely seem to have mastered the eventing equitation of stay in the back seat and let the reins slip:

Tillie was very proud of herself and celebrated around the turn...but it was reasonable and a perfectly acceptable one! HUGE progress for Tillie...especially since landing from a gappy distance like this in the past would send her on a full rampage. 

Pats for Tillie!!

A few things came to light through doing this:

1. My horse is awesomely game and brave
2. We need to work on teaching her to look for the fence itself rather then the other side
3. I need to not get ahead with my shoulders - which is the reason for the gappy distances
4. I need to work on folding and being softer in my hip (being defensive is all great, but sitting that upright just looks ridiculous)
5. Tillie REALLY likes her job

Ears back ready for more!

The majestic tail flip

See - upright position, but hey Tillie is stretching! 

not enough release here, stiff upper body and not folding enough for the height.

just another angle

So all in all I was really excited with giving this a shot. It really showed how Tillie and I have gotten to know each other and faced this obstacle together...this really helped my self doubt in our abilities and talent. While I am sure Ill still doubt, for now I am just happy with how willing she is to try for me! 

Biding Time until winter is over....so we dressage

So far we have been pretty lucky with winter...its been fairly warm and mild until the biggest snow fall in the history of our state's snow fall happened (and I am not exaggerating...it really was the largest recorded snow fall in the history of my state).

Sooo much snow...and this is from a few weeks later!!!

The snow fall was enough to put me over the edge...because it means not being able to ride unless I haul out and my job has been limiting that happening since no one wants a stranger in their barn later then 8pm. So anyway, I havent been riding nearly as much as Id like to and its sad. Very sad.

BUT once in a while I can haul somewhere and shockingly Tillie has been pretty behaved and, better yet, ready to work with a nice work ethic.

Is it me or does she look eeevvvvilll here?

Without boring you all too much longer on the intro, I scheduled a dressage lesson with C and finally got the opportunity to try hauling with my trailer with the partition open to see if Tillie's scrambling around turns would be better, worse or the same. 

Luckily all of our self loading practice came into to great use here since with keeping the divider open means no butt bar. I did minimally put up a lead rope but if Tillie realllly wanted to run backwards out of the trailer she could break it easily...but shes really good about waiting for me to ask her to back out.

Night hauling makes taking pictures harder :(

Tillie didnt scramble AT ALL...and majority of the time did keep herself fairly straight, but around turns you could see her swing her butt and angle herself. So I think I need to get myself a wider trailer and haul like this in the meantime...

Lesson Time: (sadly had no one their to take pics or videos)
I get on and just start going through the normal motions of loose rein walk around the whole indoor both directions a few times while waiting for C to finish another lesson. Tillie was quiet, had a bit of a speed walk going on, but not terribly looky like she can be. 

I start picking her up in the walk a bit to test her mood and see how much resistance Id be dealing with once C was ready...and Tillie was quite pleasant and even with a longer rein moved right into contact without missing a beat. Typically even after warming up walk trot canter, going from a loose rein to contact isnt as smooth as this! 

Once C started with our lesson we moved into a trot fairly quickly and her first transition was quite nice and she stayed connected without going inverted. Another Win! We treadmilled it at the trot a bit just to let her warm up...and C thought she looked off right front so we did a few changes of posting diagonals and changing direction see if it was worse on turns or a certain direction....but luckily it went away and Tillie seemed not bothered at all so we pressed on. 

C right away when I trotted again said "no bigger trot then this" which was interesting because I felt like we werent covering enough ground....I attribute this to me getting more comfortable riding her trot now and not always trying or needing to slow things down. 

Can winter and the early darkness be over yet?!

Tillie was pretty consistent in the trot and we worked on getting more inside bend both directions...for this ride, her right bend was much harder. My inside rein would end up touching her neck which C pointed out there should be a clear gap and the inside hand should be open and away...so more inside leg to push her away. But do not lose the outside elbow (I tend to straighten it out too much). 

Leg yielding 

Moving on from that we went into riding down the quarter line and leg yielding, but this time rather then using the entire length of the long side of the arena, C wanted us doing them pretty quickly without leading with the shoulder and focusing on a straightness. Tracking left she nailed every one, tracking right we had a few at first where she really didnt want her booty to stay in line, but a tad more inside leg and outside rein fixed it pretty easily. 

Tillie eating ALL the hay

Tear drop exercise
Then C had us ride tear drop formations (trot and at E make a 10M circle and trot a straight diagonal line between H and F and ask to change the bend). Once I got the hang of the actual figure Tillie rode through this exercise REALLY nicely. C remarked she was impressed!

We took a bit of a walk break and chatted about the upcoming dressage show and discussed strategies...when I started to pick Tillie back up again I reminded myself shorter reins and really felt I found that sweet spot (you know when your seat feels solid, your rein length feels right and the stars align?). Tillie on the other hand didnt appreciate the shorter reins and despite another lovely trot transition and half circle started "whip nae nae-ing" with her head when I applied inside leg (tracking left).

She did it a few times when trying to re-establish bend and I wasnt letting the reins out...C recommended I verbally reprimand her for this....that a physical squeeze or crop for her would be too much but I need to at least tell her NO.

I will admit, I felt like the contact in my reins was heavier then I like (I tend to waiver it seems or say this after not riding for a period of time). I never dislike when this happens...just seem to notice it and feel like its not "soft" enough contact which is false. She is soft...just not behind the contact like she used to be more often a few months ago. I think I just need to re-calibrate my feel...

UMMM...wheres my food?

So we treadmilled a bit at the trot again to let her get those out and C said ok, canter NOW! OK it wasnt quite that abrupt, lol, but it felt sort of sudden...as I wasnt really expecting to move into canter so quickly in the lesson. We sometimes only get to it briefly!

Test riding - being smart about placement of transitions

C did set me up for it talking about the strategy of riding in the test and prep for the transition depending on the horse I had that day. If Tillie was more up to ask earlier to use the corner or turn to back her off, if she was going well ask a bit more in the middle of the corner to present the long side of the ring to promote her opening her stride. 

Canter

So we started on left lead and it took a few steps at first, but she did a nice little jump into it I sort of didnt expect. She felt a bit unbalance on it again so I do a poor job being soft in my arms when this happens...but C talked me through it, we achieved inside bend and she felt a bit smoother once that was better. Her downward transition was a bit strung out and as we changed directions on the short diagonal Tillie was a bit fired up and ready to jumping into right lead canter which I promptly did a strong half halt which C agreed with. It sort of took away the rhythm but it was needed...and we regained a nice balanced trot tracking right within a half circle. 

I so good!

We went right into right lead canter once we passed C and it took a half the circle to get the inside bend, but once we did C even said it was a nice canter. She urged me to step more into my right leg so I dont fall to the outside (which would push tillie in and not be able to bend in). Her downward transition to trot this direction was really lovely. 

Center line - test riding

After this, C had us run through a few center line practices again really concentrating on no drifting...especially when you continue the trot on and turn at C. She said most horse and riders will drift before reaching C and to wait as long as possible to make the turn - for example if youre turning left, you start drifting right when over prepping for the turn. 

C said Tillies weight and muscling is looking good! 

Riding Novice A

Once we got the strategy for the center lines down we moved on to riding through a test. I chose to run through Novice A with C since that's the most difficult test I signed up to do for the dressage show. I am debating now on changing that after this ride and talking with Emma...but we will see how the next week goes if I change. I am currently signed up for BN A and B and Novice A. 

C called out the test as I was riding it and for the most part it rode pretty well. USEF tests tend to be harder for us since there is so much ability to build up in the trot and canter...USDF tests are nice since there is a lot more changing directions, circling, transitions etc to distract Tillie.

Her transitions out of canter to trot were a bit rocky...but C said if I plan them accurately the judge shouldnt be able to see it too much. Her right lead canter transition I planned perfectly and C said we would work on the left lead too next time, but both leads she stepped right into without needing a few steps, I just need to time the transition better and stop anticipating the build up so much.

Nicely trimmed tail :)

Her free walk we talked about her wanting to dive when she stretches...like throw her head down and pull the reins from me rudely. She has a habit of doing this when doing anything stretchy or even when letting her walk on a loose rein. C suggested I dont ever let her go around on a completely contact free rein until she breaks this habit and earns the privilege back. When she goes to root give her a boot or slap with my leg. No pulling of the reins, just a bump using leg. 

Aside from those C was really complimentary and said we definitely earned the award for most improved. :) Its really nice to hear!!! 

I seee you barn cat

Post Snowpacolypse riding - Jump lesson recap

The weekend of January 22nd, we got hit with the biggest snowfall our state has ever seen since recorded snowfalls in history of our state. Pretty darn impressive. It was nice, at first. The first few days cleaning, cooking and catching up on the neglected things...but after 3 days of not ONE snow plow down our street and being forced to work (from home but it still sucked since everyone else was off) I was going stir crazy.

Sooo much snow...

Even as recent as yesterday some roads are still not plowed to the full width of both lanes...meaning riding was not happening. I was soo envious of barnmates that could go during the day to ride the fluffy fresh powder, but I couldnt get out there before dark and the lack of lights sort of put a stop to me trudging through almost 3ft of snow by myself to ride.

For those that could play in the snow, I got some pics to hold me over :)

Tillie clearly enjoyed her mini vacation. 

With snow/ice covering all available riding surfaces, that meant no teaching lessons for like I usually do, but luckily our usual saturday jump lesson with P was still on since they have an indoor! I was so excited I got to the barn early to do a bit of grooming and love on Tillie. 

Never so happy to see this face! 

The plus side to all this snow - her whites on her legs have never been whiter! Now we have rain moving in and that will quickly change that, but thats ok...that hopefully means a ride-able ring with the lights!

We loaded up to go to P and once again she self loaded like a charm! I really am getting quite spoiled! The indoor here is quite small, so trying to fit us all in was a bit hectic on top of snow occasionally sliding off the roof sending all the horses into a frenzy. Tillie got used to this by the end and only had a few sassy mare moments.

Because most of us havent been riding and because the deep snow does wear them out, we did a simple low grid just to get us all back in the swing of things. I dont think anyone was particularly thrilled with their rides...but all in all you could tell our horses were true champs just trying their hardest despite being fatigued.

I spoke with P about the head wagging tracking left and we ruled out soreness since she just saw the chiro, decided to try the dentist (since shes due anyway) but that it was most likely that she isnt really through enough in the bridle. So during warm up I really thought about riding her forward without rushing and getting her into the contact more. That really seemed to help! 

I made sure to giver her a lot of walk breaks through with all the recent time off...so that wasnt helpful for our rhythm, but was great to work on transitions. 

oh hey!?

P had us warm up over some trot poles and then raised a few to be cavaletti. Tillie seemed bored and did it no problems. We moved on to cantering one ground pole and then two. Tillie did it tracking right beautifully...tracking left the first time she got a bit flat and grabby but second time through figured out her balance without trying to goad me into helping her. 

So onto jumping:

First attempt through, you could tell Tillie just wasnt quite sure and the tightness of the indoor made her a bit nervous about her balance/feet jumping:

When P had us try to come through again things got a bit interesting:

So ok, it wasnt great...but we recovered and I took a deep breath and knew I needed to let her go a bit more and stop micromanaging her. When I do, she feels claustrophobic and gets behind my leg, too light in contact and just stops listing to turning off my aids. What is nice about P's lesson format is you get to sit and reflect while others go...so I took some time to reset before we tried again:

MUCH better this time through even tracking left. So the answer all along is to stay off of her face...well duh!!

So P raised the fences a teeeeeny bit more and we all did it a few more times. These last two times Tillie really started getting tired. This round, I should have trotted another lap to wake her up after sitting still for so long, but she pulled us through and got it together:

 P had us go through ONE more time and commented that Tillie would jump the first one well, the second kinda ok and the third one like "OMG I cant make it over" so we called it quits after this one:

I walked away from the lesson a bit ambivalent. I was really happy with the fact that Tillie was pretty much all business aside from a few minor incidents...but I didnt feel like we had done anything great or worthy of improvement. Regardless, I realized I actually wanted to do more in a lesson...when in the past I would dread running through the exercises and get a sinking feeling. Its awesome that now, I cant get enough.

Sooo tired after the lesson

I also was fully prepared to watch back the videos and be disappointed in both my form and Tillie's...only to be pleasantly surprised at Tillie! (My form still left some to be desired, but I am not beating myself up too much here with all the time off - Mainly my release lacking). 

Despite these fences being small, Tillie was jumping really well...mostly over just the first one through the line and her form would die out more and more over each additional one. BUT the fact that shes jumping even these smaller fences so well is promising right?!

Not to mention her trot looks pretty darn amazing too despite time off:

FANCY PANTS

I know I am gushing a bit...but I self doubt ALOT. Both myself and Tillie so its nice to see footage that makes me feel good.

Lesson recap - to happier times

Ill be back tracking the next few posts and posting an update after the vet this afternoon...so bear with me since my timeline will be a bit off.

Sad Tillie getting iced yesterday evening

Anyway, the day before Tillie turned up lame, we went to our usual Saturday jump lesson with P. We self loaded on AND off no issues (sans whip) and no crooked issues either! I was a bit nervous for this lesson simply because P suggested we try going back in our snaffle. Not nervous in a bad way, just a bit nervous that she wouldnt be as quiet I guess...

She was a bit heavier at times, BUT she was a star...even with the mucky wet ring. Which is why I am freaking out if she now has a soft tissue injury from going in this ring. But I have watched and rewatched and never once see her put a foot wrong (Which i know doesnt mean it didnt happen...)

big fancy trot!

She only had ONE sass moment when she lost her balance in the mud, but it made me crack up and yell -"There it is!!" But she warmed up lovely and P had me work on riding the outside aids a bit more so I wouldnt lose her shoulder. In the muck, she kept throwing her shoulders around every which way so P had me think riding her straighter and that seemed to solve that.

Tillies game face - Get some!!!

I felt like this lesson she was really starting to jump better/more correctly with her form. There were some jumps that felt like a "wooosh!" and P even said "Weeee" after one of them!! :) I fret over her form a lot so its nice to see week over week she is starting to stretch and use those shoulders better.

She even started getting lead changes without losing her mind!

See!!! we can stretch over fences! 

Ill admit I was a bit disappointed with watching the videos with my release and seeing I still had her a bit tucked in at times...but Emma so kindly pointed out that she was taking much longer distances which naturally will make a rider more defensive. So **pending Tillie's soundness** will be what I try to focus on next.

See...holding her too tightly not allowing to stretch - but holy moly did she over jump this one!

 I have really let how nice this lesson went fall victim to blaming it for Tillies injury which isnt fair...who knows what it is, how bad it is or even when she did it (could have been here, the trailer ride home, that night in the field or that afternoon) I only fret it was from here because I noticed her cocking her right hind when we finished when we were standing around and at the trailer...but that next morning when I gave her depo didnt see any swelling at all. I would think by then I would have...

See - standing with that leg cocked.

Anyway, its horses...and I wont know until I see the vet today. Until then, here is the mash up from the lesson:

Is it possible this is our new normal?

There are something about my Saturday jump lessons with P that really seem to make me "centered." Anyone following me at this point can tell I am a ball of just heightened nervousness of OMG my horse is injured or OMG my horse is nuts or OMG my horse cant do this....and it goes on. So basically just a lot of self doubt and doubt in Tillie.

Which isnt really fair to either of us.

Hows THIS trot for ability?! side note: excuse my where's waldo shirt :) Its warm! 

I noticed after only having 1 P lesson in the last month, I was starting to be like the pysh patient losing their minds from lack of seeing their therapist. Not to mention, work has been quite crazy so keeping to riding 4 -days a week has been tough. I did manage to ride 3 days this week so that close right!?

Luckily Tillie hasnt seemed to miss a beat minus the one really crummy ride I blogged about last week. Which is quite surprising since she typically requires full work to stay sane.

I LOVE Tillie's expression here - shes like " I got this"

Saturday morning comes around and Im like a big kid on Christmas - Soooo anxious to get loaded up to go except our lesson wasnt until late afternoon/early evening. **waiting sucks**

Loading Tillie, I was trying to put to practice the self loading session we did with Emma...Tillie has seemed to develop a nasty habit of going crooked now and swinging her butt away from me anticipating the whip. I even reintroduced it to her and rubbed it on her showing her it was fine, but she REALLY gets squirmy with it. As soon as I put it away she goes right on just fine. 

So homework for me - practice this loading thing a bit more. 

Oh hey uphill canter! I think Tillie looks like a fancy upper level horse here! 

We get there and hack out to find puppies/dogs everywhere! Tillie was realllly not sure about them, but I was able to keep her focused and as I started warming up felt this incredible just peace. 

You know when things just go silent and its this quiet, steady feeling of just being in the moment on the same page? I havent felt that ever on a horse. But our warm up I felt this...I said bend left or right she said ok and had these incredible uphill gaits. I felt at first like she wasnt moving forward enough, but watching back I think it just felt that way because she was balanced and where she needed to be where I am usually used to feeling her pulling herself around by her front end. 

It was a bit warmer out so I attribute her quietness to that partially...but it still weirds me out when things feel this nice. Emma always reminds me as of late that this IS our new normal. I just havent gotten used to it yet! Tillie did throw in a teeeeenie sass fit after one fence when I half halted going into the turn and she got a bit offended like I KNOOOWWW I was doing it already mom!!

This lesson we had a much larger group then normal so we didnt get to do as much...but with Tillie and I havent jumped in a while, it was probably for the best. What worked well for it, was it kept things REALLY chill and low key - and Tillie ate all her breakfast Sunday AM!

Anyway, P had us warm up over some ground poles and then some small fences set as a one stride line. I needed to be reminded to release a bit more rather then plant...that is one hard habit to break!...so we can start encouraging Tillie to stretch and jump better with her shoulders.

Then we got to business and P had us run through this twsity turning course that was really fun! The first time we ran through was ok...Tillie was a bit flat but was listening and stayed in a nice rhythm. 

The second run through didnt feel that great to me, but P didnt ask us to re-do anything which normally she will if she feels its necessary. Not sure what it was about it (not just the rail cuz I know rails happen), but I just didnt like it...

P was ready to call it a day and, as always, asked if anyone wanted to run through it one more time. Usually I say no so I dont push too hard...especially when Tillie is being so quiet. BUT shes been quiet jumping lately and its time to start expecting more...but I asked if we could. 

I am really glad we did because it felt pretty good and P had raised the monsters inc jump to 3ft for another rider and left it for when we ran through. I honestly didnt realize/or think to question that height since height **usually** doesnt bother me, but I did hear the fellow barn mates asking, are they jumping THAT?

Yes, yes we did! 

Tillie sailed over it no problem! I loved Emma's WOOO upon landing and you could feel Tillie hear that, and just get this vibe through her body like lets do this. The angle the video was shot makes it look smaller...but P said it was 3ft... 

All in all, I wasnt super thrilled with the lesson at first. Mostly because I still am dwelling on the fact my horse doesnt jump "well" yet. But the more I thought about it the more I realized that our goal has been getting quiet first since that was a challenge - and I think we are there! The fact Tillie could open and compress her canter and adjust without sass is HUGE. 

So I am thrilled and just hope to keep the momentum going! P even suggested trying her back in the snaffle jumping! WOOO!!!