I have been focusing a lot more on Tillie - partly because she needs it and Kiss is way easier to maintain - but also because we have lots of holes that need fixing with her being off last year.
I took her to Windurra and attempted to try a waterford bit on her and well, lets just say, she HATED it.
You can see how she is practically running through it - sure her head is up, but she was pissed.
More in the waterford...you can tell she's just rushing and unsettled. So we only did one more set of jumps before Dom had us change back to our original bit because our steering was a bit altered from how distracted tillie was:
She settled down a little but still was holding a bit of a grudge...however Dom upped the difficulty to get her thinking which helped throw her a curve ball and get her mind off being mad.
She was being a super finicky ride at this point but the good moments were starting to come through. She surprised me with how straight and confident she was to to the skinny...which tend to be her nemesis when we havent seen them in a while:
Then we moved on to the water which really showed my lack of trusting to start this season...and learning to need to stop wanting to always do the add:
ANNNNNDDD the blooper of the ride...our first attempt at this corner combo. Which was hilarious...and took me off guard because Tillie's approach was good until the last stride when she decided the grass was horse eating and she wanted nothing to do with it.
Dom wanted us to keep going to the jump into water and im pretty sure my pants matched the first time through (Remember my fear of downhill?!)
But we scraped through it and of course had to do it again:
So I felt good going into fair hill last weekend. But more to come on that soon.
So the first show of the season has since come and gone, but I am playing catch up again.
Last week I took both my girls to Windurra to get another good xc school in. I felt like Tillie's first one of the season was a bit rusty, and Kiss' was less than confident with the wet footing.
I rode Kiss first to tire her out so she would be happier about standing on the trailer. She came out feeling a lot more confident even if I wasn't. My biggest issue starting out this season is riding a bit timid/not brave enough up to jumps. Once I do, both my horses shine...but when I micromanage and shut them down...well they shut down.
Dom decided to have us tackle the water right away, discussing the order of jumps and questions and why we school in that order. I found it interesting since usually we wait for water later. But for him he wanted to put some "money in the bank" for later in our school.
She did well going right in and we got right to doing the bank out. We attempted to do her first ever bank into water and her confidence wasnt quite there, but here is the succession of getting through it!
and finally much more confident:
I was really proud of her working through this. Dom also said it was a great schooling experience and reassured me her initial reaction is very normal for a first attempt.
From here we went to the dry banks and the confidence building paid off:
Usually kiss will look at the down banks and hesitate but she felt good and confident...and i am getting much less worried about them myself! From here Dom kicked me in the butt and said lets ride FORWARD...get up to the jump.
We ended at the ditches and Kiss handled this like a pro too!
Our aim is Loch Moy BN this weekend...I am hoping we are ready.
I just realized I dont think I ever formally introduced my "baby" horse Kiss (jc name KissTheButterflies).
Finally having my girls together at the same barn felt really nice
I saw an ad posted about her and just could not stop thinking of her. I had fresh money in my pocket to go towards her purchase and it was burning a hole in my pocket.
The day I went to look at her (she is 3 in this picture)
If any of you remember Typo in my adding to the roster post...I sold him pretty quickly to an adult male as his first horse because he is just so chill. I knew pretty quickly he wouldn't be sticking around...i like my feisty mares...and he fit perfectly in with his new owner's agenda. They still are building together and happy which makes me super happy.
One of our first off farm schoolings...can you say wood allergy!?
Kiss has by far been way easier, more sane and willing than Tillie was at this young age. Sure she has her moments, but she is just so NICE. She was so good at her first few events last season. Worried for sure and just wiggly...so not like the cocky tillie dragging my butt around.
First ever full event, looking the part already
Both my mares could not be any more opposite. Kiss is typically happy to plod along however fast or slow you ask...sometimes more on the slow side. She tends to be a worrier which is something we are working on. Really managing her confidence and protecting that.
Another outing in the season at Loch Moy...having some baby feelings about it all
She jumped around very well and confident though!
She isnt as brave as tillie, but once you show her the way shes usually pretty honest. I admit to not always giving her the driving, supportive ride she always needs to things simply because I am not used to that! Its been a learning curve for me but a very fun one. Hence us sticking at intro last year to feel one another out...we were about to move up to BN for one final event but all the darn rain foiled that and everything was cancelled.
Dressed up in "racing gear" for a paper chase
All that rain didnt help set us up for success this year just yet. This season we are struggling with her big feet somewhat, but we got pads put on and so far **knocking on all the wood** that has seemed to keep her happy and comfortable.
Did i mention she sometimes feels like a human blender?
My goal for her this year (shes is now 5) is to keep plugging away at the confidence building. Lots of miles, traveling and exposure. We will likely live in BN land for a while until she tells me she's bored.
Schooling at tranquility last fall
The mare has some talent in there I am excited to see come out, but must be careful not to push too fast too soon...because she is so much easier than tillie was, its easy to get carried away.
Not touching this mom!!
Scope for days
Her legs and feet are so much thicker than Tillie....and her body longer. Its been interesting learning how to put her together. Shes also much lighter in my hands...
First day of trying her
Last week
She was so young and awkward, I really tried to take some time with her...i gave her most of this winter off and the time off hasnt disappointed. Shes come back well aside from the feet issue.
Just because shes cute
Our first schooling of the season she was doing much better jumping across and not so up and down...however we went again when the footing was wet and we had that issue again which makes me things studs are needed sooner than I realized.
So that is Kiss!! My princess pony...while Tillie is very much still queen bee. We have a busy season planned between the two!
When a big life event happens, good or bad, it has residual effects. Either way there will be a period of time where you are just stuck in between. Where things aren't settled, there is no new routine yet and your new normal hasnt been established yet.
It can illicit feelings of excitement, relief, restlessness, anxiety and a whole medley of emotions. Not exactly something you want going on when riding. It was a great motivator to keep my emotions in check so it didn't push back our progress.
It was amazing though how quickly the main emotion of relief took over and then happiness. I finally felt the freedom to dream big without the pressure. I realized I was using my riding as a way to escape my life and putting way too much pressure on myself and Tillie.
So much happier with actual smiles when riding!
I went into this season with the mentality of just do what feels good. If you aren't happy about it, overly stressed or it isn't feeling great, lets take it slower or reevaluate rather than push so hard to make it perfect.
What do you know, it made riding fun again. Not to mention a much more pleasurable Tillie. So fast forward to now...we are about to make our prelim debut this Saturday. As terrifying as it is, I am excited. I keep reminding myself the training is in there, as long as I don't get too frazzled, we can do this.
My Dom lesson last night was a nice little boost from him reminding me that we have been doing lessons, we have been schooling the prelim questions and Tillie has been show jumping clear and running XC like it was made for her.
He warned me prelim stadium shouldn't be as much an issue for Tillie, but it will feel much bigger to me and not to let it get me wound up and lose my cool.
He has had us do a few jumping exercises in a rotation leading up to shows that, so far, have seemed to get Tillie jumping very careful at events.
One is setting up either a one stride to one stride or a two stride to two stride with the middle jump being a wider square oxer. The distance should be set a bit shorter to encourage the horse to sit and jump powerfully.
As long as I don't over ride and try to compress her too much, I am confident she will be ok. No pressure on me right!?
In either case, its encouraging to hear your trainer back you. Its reassuring for me and his "you'll be fine" comments instill a tad more confidence that we really can do it. He said the jump to prelim is one of the larger step ups and it will feel that way, but not to let it back me off. His biggest piece of advice was for me to let the mare go. Don't sit there and not ride, but stop micromanaging her canter and gallop so much and do what you need to do and let her at it.
The rideability we have gotten from the slower gallop and canter we have to start achieving out of a more open stride. He reassured me it is there and to trust her more. He repeated several times, if you chose the right line and you have the right canter, this horse will do it. But you get her in too weak, she might run out and tell you she didn't feel good about it...and then Ill feel silly for doing too much.
So in a nutshell, let the horse get her butt going and when in doubt sit my butt up, put my leg on and get her shoulders square. He even told me I shouldn't even wear my watch...to just go out there and not worry about the time, but to make sure I did let her gallop out when I could.
The next piece of advice was to pay attention to the first combination on course. He said its typically jump 4-5 in and its typically one that will set the tone for the rest of the course...
Come in to it and add too much, youre setting up for a harder ride the rest of the course, but come in and nail the striding and get the right ride its confidence building for the horse and money in the bank for later on course when you need it.
Today and tomorrow will be a dressage day working on really memorizing my test so I don't get any errors!! Then one more jump school Thursday, this time doing an ascending grid based on Dom's recommendation.
He reassured me the mare has got it in there, that I just need to keep a cool head and ride it confidently like its just another training with the adjustability and speed needed for prelim.
Ill keep you all posted through the week and post some xc videos soon! What do you all do to keep your nerves in check?
It is a topic I have seen written about again and again where people talk about the struggle of deciding when its right to make the leap and move up to the next level.
Its a topic that there really isn't a blanket answer for (aside from the repeated advice, "Do it when the current level feels bored"). The choice is really personal. One that you can only know from knowing your horse, your own confidence and lots of discussion with the professionals involved.
Going for it
I felt the move up to Training level was pretty huge because for me that level as my big goal. This big thing in my head that I built up. I didn't really think about moving up to prelim until Dom started asking my plans for the season.
Point her at it, She'll jump it
When we discussed it initially, it was agreed we would just see how this season goes at Training level and re-evaluate when I felt ready...as in not hurl when looking at the huge prelim tables. I have been keeping an eye on Prelim courses when I have walked my own. Some have looked HUGE. Slowly though, they have started looking more doable. I would find myself thinking, "We can do that!"
Skinnies are becoming less of a thing
Realistically speaking, I was totally fine with the plan of getting miles at Training level considering the struggles we had even completing an event without forgetting a test or **ahem* a jump. I knew I needed to become comfortable enough where I did not feel so frazzled.
Getting the hang of this!
Interestingly enough, by the 3rd Training into this season I stopped freaking out at the size of certain jumps on my course and started thinking more about timing, how to approach it etc. Without fail when walking my course, I almost always would have one fence that I would frantically text Dom and ask, "We have jumped something this big right?"
Water jump!
Any prelim jump in comparison scared the pants off me. But I noticed by the time we competed at Seneca, I was eyeing the prelim course while I walked mine and started thinking what we could realistically do and what we needed to start working on to be able to do what I didnt think we could do.
It wasnt pretty, but we did it
Pretty soon I was feeling like more and more of the prelim jumps were looking a little less intimidating, while training level became something that felt pretty easy. I hate saying that because this sport is anything but easy...and that whole wait to move up until you're bored thing, do jumps ever become "boring?"
Anyway, the entry is in for Seneca September 2nd for our Prelim debut. I reached out to the organizers to be sure I had the ability of dropping our entry down if I felt like our schooling leading up to it felt like we werent ready. Ill admit, I was feeling pretty 50/50 on it.
But after this weekend, I have never felt more confident! I took Tillie to windurra to school down banks and skinnies specifically, while also doing other things. But its no secret I hate down banks...and Skinnies are really the step up to prelim I am not 100% confident we are confirmed there.
Ill post more on the specifics later, but lets just say, we are ready!!
We finally got out to do an xc lesson at Windurra and I won't lie by admitting I was a bit nervous. Tillie has been pretty good and ended last season doing well, but we weren't exactly confirmed at Training Level. We still had to be a bit scrappy to make it happen and we sometimes had breaks and sometimes did not.
This year starting off in general, Tillie has been much more rideable even at home. The last few lessons with Dom have been in the field at home with some jumps working on galloping and galloping up and down hills and how to handle that. But sometimes when you start putting the questions in front of them again it wakes em up! So needless to say I was braced for a beast.
Instead I got this!!!
We are down graded from the gag bit to a cartwheel bit. It seems to be just the right balance of leverage without pissing Tillie off, but I still have breaks and half halts. I was extremely pleased with this as I warmed her up and then galloped her a bit around the track and Windurra. (SO MUCH FUN BTW!)
We warmed up with Dom having us in a compressed canter getting deep distances to each fence. We did our first baby key hole during this! Dom explained its normal for horses new to them to jump and flatten out which is exactly what Tillie did. We went through the warm up jumps again this time allowing the canter out a bit more.
I unfortunately do not have video of this sequence.
We moved right on over the ditches and a ditch two stride to a large log skinny. Tillie was on point and Dom was excited with how calm and rideable she was. I agreed and it felt like she was an old pro. We did the larger ditch with a much harsher slope and again, Tillie didnt even bat an eye.
We then moved on to banks:
Tillie did this well too aside from a small trip after the first bank. But she recovered well without getting flustered.
Then we worked on a much harder question...jumping uphill which Dom said is tricky because you need to make sure your rpms are up so there is enough power once you reach the jump.
Jumping down the hill, I let tillie get weak in the canter so had a slight blooper moment, but we finished strong to the jump and left a stride out lol that hasnt been my issue lately!!
Finally we moved on to water:
She looked at the skinny in the water at first, but Dom was excited at how I caught her and got her to do it...so we did it again for good measure to get her a bit more relaxed about it. She came in and attacked it the second time extremely confident.
So all in all it was very successful. Dom is anxious to get us to an event insisting this is the best he has ever seen her going. REALLY love hearing this!!
I've been terrible about keeping up my daily blog or rides...lately I have been a bit of a physical disaster with a summer cold or something dragging me down. I am never sick, so when I am, I am bit of a baby about it. I haven't let it stop me from riding though since there is no rest for the wicked ;)
Tillie apparently morphs into a zebra when it rains around here
This week came up really fast amid some of her foot tenderness which luckily has mostly subsided...I feel like we just are getting back into the swing of things and we have some big plans for this week and weekend: Its our big move up to Training Level.
Our lesson Friday night with trainer D who we havent seen in a while
I won't lie in admitting that I am feeling a bit unprepared, mostly I think because we had a lull in riding...but also because my current roster of trainers have been off showing themselves so I havent had my normal lessons. I have snuck in a few with some past trainers or some I havent seen in a while.
I do however trust the training we have put in and feel a whole heck of a lot better when hearing trainer D very nonchalantly tell me we are ready...for him to say that is pretty validating since hes always aired on the side of caution and have told us to wait or hang out at a level if he felt it was needed.
Droopy lip waiting for our lesson
I realize I need to stop relying on outside sources as validation and believe it myself...which it is coming in waves. I wouldnt exactly say Im lacking confidence, but I am not a fan of the lack of saddle time we have had leading up to this week. At the end of the day, I still am trusting in our training this summer and confident in many ways. We have been working diligently and I know its paying off.
Tillie isnt so sure
The biggest triumph this weekend was the fact Tillie and I conquered the blasted double brush table we fell at earlier in July...not only did we jump it, we did it a few times and not once did Tillie even question or look at it. Clearly she doesnt have any recollection of that particular fence...even if I do. I was happy and slightly terrified to see it the same exact place when we arrived Saturday.
Happy because the question of it wouldnt be nearly as hard if it was moved, but terrified because well its fucking huge and jumping into really dark woods and it didnt end so well for us last time.
Tillie isnt worried at all about anything
It was down pouring as well...so by the time we finished schooling, Tillie and I looked like we had just went for a swim in a lake. I was counting my blessings for being a true horse person with so much crap in their car that I was able to Frankenstein some dry clothes for the very long drive home in the torrential downpour.
Tillie and I both a bit having heebie jeebies at a very empty loch moy
When we first arrived to the XC schooling, it was really strange because of how empty it was. I have only ever been to this facility to compete so its usually hustling and bustling with hundreds of people and horses. Tillie was a bit looky but happily munched on her hay while i put her studs in...which I was very proud of how smoothly it went compared to some recent past attempts.
Ghost town
Once the instructor arrived with a few students in tow it felt a bit less spooky. We warmed up in the ring so jumped what was set, which looked like 2'3 fences maybe a few BN:
I thought Tillie felt pretty darn good despite one long spot going into a two stride where she got a bit flat which is normal for us warming up...shes always good for one flat/launching fence.
We went out to warm up XC and I felt myself trying to remind myself to stay calm. I realized it was my first time xc schooling since my fall. Tillie was behaved for the most part but man my release is pretty standard arms straight body back...the same old positional flaw that just wont go away as part of my PTSD/defensive riding.
True to form, the longer we went, the better tillie settled in. We started with the logs, then a roll top to a produce stand and a table looking thing. The biggest thing this instructor kept telling me was I was messing with her too much before the fences...which I know I can be guilty of at times and maybe with my PTSD was doing more...but I just didnt feel 100% great in general about the outing.
Another warm up fence
Once we warmed up we made our way over to THE fence. The instructor had me think more about setting her canter up, half halt and then leave her alone but leg on...basically more forward to the fences and stop trying to wait for that perfect distance. Which I do agree I do...the trainer said she knows its scary to do, but Ill have to let Tillie make those choices more and to stop helping her so much.
Lattice fence leading to the double brush (sadly not pictured)
Coming up to the brush and quick internal dialog was "Yep this is happening, OK we are doing this, ok mare get it!!!" She REALLLY soared over it all three times we did it. On landing I felt myself really absorb the landing with how hard she jumped it. The trainer had us circle back and jump it a total of three times...first time was just do it to get over the fear, second time she had me really work the canter on the approach then be quiet with my hands and really push her at it which was slightly terrifying, then the final time find a happy medium.
The dreaded double brush table i stole offline.
At this point it started to really rain...but we pushed on to jump the training level open oxer in the woods...which I found the exact one on a coursewalk app because it was pretty big in my humble opinion...and Tillie thought so too:
She sort of looked at it the first time, requiring me to give her a little pop on the shoulder with my crop...so the second time she decided she would just try to run at it, which I made her circle and get it together...and she came back at it the next time fine, but it wasnt the perfect distance which the instructor said fine to it and it was educational for her.
We moved on to the bank combo up to a training level house...but by this time it was raining so hard we all were water logged and the footing was starting to get a bit soggy too. But the instructor pressed on for us to gallop over to the water and do a few more things.
She had me do a jump one stride into water...then right away a slightly larger novice jump into water to the island bank up then bank into water.
See the bank behind the huts?
The first time Tille got to the bank down and sorta slammed on the breaks before dropping in...the second time she did it no issue. I think she got a bit surprised by it. We moved on then to a turning jump exercise which Tillie did fine, just got a bit flat to the B element...but trainer said not to do it again with the rain just to be sure to ride just as active to the second element as the first.
Finally we finished with a blue log skinny up a steeper hill..We did that twice and called it a day.
All in all I am proud of Tillie and I needed to get back out there. The pouring rain didnt deter her at all. I am planning to go one more time with Dom this week to windurra just to really feel secure about things (hopefully).
Before Tillie and I had our fall last weekend, I have been thinking of asking Dom to ride her or at least hop on her to get a feel for her. I know from watching my own videos and teaching that it sometimes feels really different than it looks. I also am a big fan of my instructors or trainers getting on my horse so they know what I am dealing with...I think it gives them more insight and tools to help us.
#mareglare
I used to be much more open to handing over the reins and letting anyone get on Tillie...but lately I have been a bit more guarded of her and trying to keep my rides crystal clear for her. Obviously a professional rider I trust and like their riding style is always welcome...but I have also been protective of her because she gets a bit emotional about new riders...like profusely sweats it out so I know mentally is a bit thrown.
Ok ok Ill be nice...
But when I spoke to Dom earlier in the week about our event, he suggested he get on her to school her around and I couldnt have been more thrilled. My thought process being that would be awesome for him to ride her and feel out how confident she really is after everything, and he is the perfect rider to help her out if she was lacking some.
Look at the giant booty!
As I tacked her up, I was nervous and excited. Its always a bit unnerving when youre going to hand over the reins to someone else, but also because I was worried about how she would be with it being her first time jumping again. My gut told me she would be fine, but I of course worry and didn't want her to come out being super stressed.
Dom and I made small talk as he hopped on...believe it or not, my stirrup length didn't need to be adjusted for him at all :) I guess I never realized just how close in height we are - I am 5'3. We talked a bit more about what happened with the fall as he looked over Tillie's battle scars as he cooed to her how sorry he was that happened to her. I am so thankful for her professional choice XC boots since both her hinds took a beating, but with the strike guard protected her cannon area...
You can see her left hind boot is almost totally brown
from the brown stain of the fence we well at
He reassured me again it was just a fluke, not to overthink it and gave Tillie a pat and said to press on with our plans. We chatted a bit more about those as I put her snaffle on (yes SNAFFLE!) as he talked about bitting and he was confident Tillie could potentially come back to a snaffle for XC...he wanted to ride her in to feel how string she can be.
With that said, he trotted off to get her going and went allllll the way around and back before cantering her in a section of the field with some smaller logs and started popping her over a few things in there. I watched carefully as he jumped the jumps very close...really making her sit to jump. I noticed he was doing the same thing in her canter - really expecting her to collect and sit causing her to break a few times.
He also had her jump the larger log at an angle a few times explaining he is trying to make her think more about the jump and not get so flat on landing.
Its kind of strange watching someone ride your horse...It makes me feel a bit self conscious and odd because I am usually the one riding! Lol and because its someone else riding what you've produced. But once he did a few jumps there, he let them both catch their breath and walked over to me. He said he was VERY glad he had the opportunity to sit on her because he admitted she was certainly had a stronger feeling under saddle than how it looks. He was quite nice about it and said I have done a nice job handling it and could understand some of my own riding tendencies even more because of how she goes. So he said the goal for today, get her thinking more and sitting more.
He moved on to the ditches we have seen before:
He mixed in some canter work which shows the breaking gait I mentioned earlier from how much he was getting her to sit:
Then introduced her to the larger "coffin" complex ditch:
The entire time I could hear him talking to her which was really cool. Her ears were constantly flicking back and forth listening to him. He explained he was going to start this combo to get her thinking quicker and looking for whats next rather than focusing on the immediate jump. He said by doing this it would promote her staying uphill and prepared for the next thing coming.
So he started piecing together the coffin complex. I would have thought for sure he would school just the skinny brush alone before trying it right away, and it did seem to catch Tillie off guard. But with some encouragement and some bloopers, but more encouragement they ended up nailing it:
My first thought watching this series, was oh no...she isnt super confident and that sucks. I can count on one hand the number of times shes refused a jump, and its only ever been one other XC jump. But Dom reassured me after the fact when he let her catch her breath that it was a necessary conversation to have. He said it wasnt the jump itself she wasnt sure about, but a green horse moment of not thinking ahead or fast enough. So he said this complex was tricky and requiring her to think more...
Looking like a real xc horse now!
He said if we havent had that conversation you wont get the growth needed for these questions...meaning the next time you ride something like this and they arent sure, because of this conversation, they'll have the better answer and confidence when you close your leg to do it. He said not to worry, its part of the schooling process and its a necessary evil so to speak.
All I know is, I am glad it was Dom and not me doing it! He was really cool to watch work her through it...and not all of it is captured on video. But he would walk her to the base and give her some leg...back her up down to the ditch, walk her back to it and do this a few times until her answer to the jump was forward. I told Dom Skinnies have always been the one question shes consistently tensed to on approaches, but usually with leg will do it. He laughed and said he could feel her do that yes, but not to worry too much and the more exposure it would come...especially with this being a prelim question.
get it girl! hello prelim questions!
He was quite pleased with her and said shes super smart but also a bit of a tricky ride and "project" but he liked that about her. He said he preferred this sort of horse to the dopey ones that give you the same ride every time. He also gave me some more kudos to how well we have been going knowing this about her...he said shes brave, careful and has self preserving awareness but wont exactly do it unless you set her up and give her the right ride so part of this complex was helping work out her gaining more independence too.
At this point Dom recapped her down hill on landing issue and the want to keep her really compressed when xc schooling, similar to a show jump canter, to promote that uphill jump that we have gotten in show jumping. He said its so much harder XC when you are going faster since it opens the door for the flatter jump, but he felt her learning!
There is an uphill jump!
So next we moved on to another portion of the field with some tables and roll tops:
Then we finished up at the water where she started to run out of gas:
Dom was really excited with the ride and what he learned saying he had some great ideas for some exercises for us that would get her thinking and help her with the jump he wanted her to get. He said he thinks some of it is lack of strength so it will come with some patience.
He also said he insists on riding her a few more times sprinkled throughout the rest of the season even in some show jumping. I cant even tell you how grateful I am for the opportunities we have had this year and the ability to work with such awesome professionals. I really attribute everything this year to them.
So with a huge sigh of relief and some excitement, I am so thrilled for Tillie and more proud than words can say. Not only did she bounce back from last weekend, she totally was a rock star for Dom. It makes me really proud of the work we have put in and helps validate some of what I have been feeling under saddle. I am so excited for the rest of the season!
