I could get used to this

Any of you following my blog have certainly noticed my high level of anxiety, woes and general self doubt in both myself and Tillie. I know that is something everyone can relate to on some level and that does give me some comfort.

I got so used to living in that place of being down and out about riding that I even wondered at times if Tillie was the right horse, if I just want cut out to be a rider and if I was pushing too hard to do a sport I just aint that good at.

Sunset silhouette = peaceful 

But suddenly, things have started to come together. We have had more and more successful rides and less not so good rides. The not so good rides even pale in comparison to those not so good ones predated to now when I more often than not got lucky staying on literally by the seat of my pants.

Me?! make you fall off....never!!!!

It hit me after doing a flat school last night the stars are aligning and it isnt just a one off good ride here and there anymore! I am having productive, pleasant rides where I can feel the learning happening. There isnt drama or fighting anymore and I feel myself trusting her more and more.

I hear past phrases from lesson in my head like "get braver riding her on the flat" or "push for more and then test her half halt" and I understood those perfectly then, but only now am I understanding how beneficial those suggestions are.

I know this is a huge lead in to just another dressage schooling ride at home (with no video)...but this place of understanding and trust with Tillie is no longer fleeting. I could really get used to this and hope we continue growing and facing NEW obstacles in such a happy place...like when we try Cross country schooling this year.

Less moments of this please...

It just hit me during the ride last night that I can go big around the ring trot AND canter without a blow up happening and not be so afraid to even ask Tillie for more. The fact that I am even comfortable and able to ask for more is just exciting when we used to always have to ask for slower.

I dont want to get too ahead of ourselves...training is a process and growth takes time, but damn it feels really good right now and better yet, I am enjoying it again. I am starting to actually LIKE riding my horse.

Sorry Tillie no jumps today...prepping for our dressage show

I feel good. It hasnt been often I can brag or boast...and I normally am not one to. But its kind of exciting! Not to mention having a fun new truck and trailer to do these things in :) Ill have them for the next 20 years probably so right now totally digging the "newness" of them!!!

Trying my friends bates