Pain is part of growing

My weekly Tuesday night lessons with D have always erred on the side of painful. Reflecting back, I now realize I have fallen off Tillie 5 out of the 7 times under his supervision...always to my horror and embarrassment. (Kind of amazing I havent fallen off more honestly...I swear I am missing counting a few or something).

Not a picture after a fall, but her expression here pretty
much captures her expression shes had after Ive fallen each time,

These lessons arent just painful due to falling off, but the sheer amount D pushes me which requires the use of so much leg. I should essentially have legs of steel by now (and sadly don't). So I realize now, I most likely fall more in D lessons due to how much he forces me to push the boundaries and get out of my comfort zone. 

Last night's lesson was no different as far as pain. It was a wonderfully challenging lesson and can't stress how great a learning experience it was. Please don't take my snarky tone following as it was terrible.

No, there was no falling off for myself or Emma but it wasn't without some huge biffs (which Emma and I always laugh which receives stone cold silence from our trainer). 

Amazing how a screen shot just doesnt do it justice. Good mare for saving by butt.

So here is is in a gif...Gorge Morris would rip me a new one!

I was a bit worried when 20 minutes in to our lesson doing flatwork, I felt like I might die. Right away I was scolded for going around for a while without changing anything. I admit, I hadn't because things felt fine. There was no direction to change anything and more or less D was watching and evaluating...so I plodded along happy as a clam. 

This is something I need to work on...feeling when it is correct vs. Tillie faking me out. I felt like she was soft and supple where as D voiced that she looked like she was bracing and holding herself in the neck (the same critique I have heard many times). Ok so add leg to push through right?! Well then I get rushing...so half halt, leg, half halt leg and just a lot of garbage that isnt working. 

The moment when D insists I try harder so we can be done our lesson already.

To which D says "you can't ride around in the middle of a half halt all the time. Be clearer about the half halt and releasing the inside rein" BAH!! ok fine...dig a little deeper and Tillie becomes a pretzel. Whew...except it only lasts one stride. This is when I know I am in trouble.

When we finally cantered, D had us focusing on shoulder fore and then asking for a more medium canter. Another thing I struggle with - finding a true forward enough medium. I tend to want to over collect Tillie's canter...watching videos of myself its so apparent, but under saddle it feels like we are out of control and too forward. **Sigh** We will get it...

Hey look we have a canter transition! 

So we move on to jumping and my mare had her A game on. While it wasnt quite as on point as the slices lesson but it had more to do with my being off my game while Tillie saved my booty. I just didnt have the balance or body control needed to support her so its amazing really we didnt take out more rails or entire fences for that matter. 

Look!! Mare is capable of an uphill trot after all! 

Here is the whole sequence of events of that last try at this exercise. He wanted us coming in shoulder fore, re-balancing in the line and landing after the last fence straight, but achieve the bend again using the shoulder fore. Not quite what happened here....