When you have no motivation

I was really hoping this year to be a huge break through in Tillie and I's progress...which I was hoping would mean showing until I became bored at the level. Honestly I came into this season thinking we would be killing it at Novice by this time this year.

As we all have experienced our horses sometimes have different plans in store for us...and my fire cracker mare just cant help but injure herself right at the most inopportune times and always just long enough to slide back a few clicks. - don't worry ill try not to get too whiny in this post.

Tille really enjoying her time off by eating A LOT. 

SIDE NOTE: I am so incredibly excited for my barn mates and fellow blogger Emma and B who both have been working hard with their horses, competing all year and just over all killing it. The improvements made by both pairs have been amazing! They both are what I hope Tillie and I will be one day. 

With that said, it makes me a bit sad I am not out there with them. Ok more then a bit - a lot sad. I have only been able to get us to two starter trials when my goal was to do at least 4 with some jumper shows sprinkled in. *sigh*



I know Tillie and I are progressing...it just feels like the slowest progression on earth. I know I need to be patient and understanding. That is so much easier said then done. I realize our goals are different now. We are focusing on smaller (but HUGELY important) things that sometimes I find difficult to feel good about. Like finding the right trot or canter. I KNOW these are important, I just get so frustrated at ride after ride and now a full year later this is what we still are focusing on.

Tillie doesnt know what all the fuss is about.

OK OK I know, I am starting to sound sorry for myself, but I find it really hard to find motivation without having that looming show on the horizon.

I get tired after a long day and excuse myself from a ride thinking "what will one off day here or there hurt?"

I know for Tillie they hurt a lot in the bigger picture. Mare needs miles. That is one less day she gets them...but finding that motivation to push through and with winter coming is really really hard.



So I am trying to challenge myself to go X amount of days in a row riding. Even if it means early mornings...Lol ok who am I kidding. I am the snooze button queen, but I need to start somewhere right?!

Motivation of the day: Our first ST of the year at BN and Tillie was a bit wild in stadium,
but still the best pony I could ask for especially saving my butt XC.

Al whining aside, I know my focus and motivation needs to stay on the small things. So I promise to keep taking lessons as much as possible and working on my confidence.


Doing my homework:

My last blog post (slower and deeper) was outlining what I know my immediate goals are. One of the biggest ones is not using my reins as much to maintain Tillie's tempo when she gets too fast on the flat or over fences.

So Saturday's ride that is EXACTLY what I did. I got on and resolved to try not to touch my reins through our warm up at the walk, trot and (wait for it) canter. In true tillie fashion it took some time to settle into the trot. She really wants to rush and build. I was using my legs so hard I thought I might die.

Tillie says  "But I's a good girl?!"

Finally we found a good tempo and so I took a big breath and went for the canter. Shockingly, Tillie strolled around like it was no big deal. 

I contemplated calling it a day on that, but decided I need to do better about pushing the limits sometimes and today felt like one of those days. So I set up a few X rails. 

I started on the circle like my last D lesson. First at the trot and then at the canter. It was so smooth and fun, I felt like the luckiest horse owner in the world. So it begs the question, why does she act so much nuttier in D lessons?

One ear on me at all times saturday

My theory, I tense up and over ride my horse. Not to say she isnt at fault sometimes...but I do think its me. So back to chipping away to just chilling out which this winter with D away in Aiken will be a good time to evaluate. 

Tillie oblivious to how psyched I was after that ride