Weekend Recap and staying realistic

I did a lot of riding this weekend in the hopes that staying on top of Tillie, we can really get some progress. I have expressed many times my disappointment in how slow progress has been. So I am anxious to start chipping away at holes and be able to reflect back and go "wow we look totally different." I'm not sure I can say that now and mean it.

Though, I ask myself sometimes...why? I am not a professional. I am an amateur. Yes I teach beginner lessons, so I enter all my events in the rider or open divisions, but Ive never ridden past the beginner novice level before three years ago. Even then, I didnt know what I was doing and just said hmmm I'd like to try that and had an incredibly minded horse that put up with me for two events before he had to retire.

No idea why I thought it would be a good idea to get something young and green when I am also green. You know the saying right? Green + Green = Black and blue.

Luckily, Tillie and I havent had too many black and blue moments. But it has made progress slower. I have really come to a conclusion recently that I am allowed to feel sad and wallow but I must cut myself off...otherwise Ill always live in wallow land and then Tillie and I surely wont ever progress.

Ok, so on to the good stuff.

Weekend Rides Recap:

Saturday:
I dont usually jump outside of my Tuesday night lessons, but decided Tillie needs to be doing it more frequently then that. She can certainly benefit from the smaller stuff and work on making it not soooo exciting.

I thought she was really great! We started off a bit out of sync with each other, but by the end of the ride I felt we were both on the same page and she was giving me a quality canter (Which D always stresses). Although, D also has said I need work on better recognizing and feeling that canter so maybe I was off lol.

I started off warming up jumping off a circle like usual and then a mini grid was set up so tried to let her go through that to figure it out...then get her landing from that grid without tearing around.

She dropped a little over the last one...

Then I moved on to a bending line, with a change of rein to a 2'7 vertical off a turn. So if she really was listening she would be able to re-balance and the whole thing go smoothly. The first few times she got a bit excited at the bending line question, BUT it didnt feel anywhere nearly as bad as it has in the past. In fact, I felt it was totally manageable and was really proud.

I guess its all relative because then the video was commented on by a potential new trainer (Ill elaborate more on this later) and a few others I shared with it that she seemed "hot," as in a bad thing.

This was the first attempt, where yes she gets a bit forward. But like I said, I was still really excited at how she contained herself compared to previous rides. I watched back the video and stills and honestly was more horrified at my position.

It is the first time I have seen myself in this saddle and it is really apparent I have gotten used to fighting my stubben XC saddle to bring my lower leg back...Because this saddle now its ALWAYS too far back. I forsee asking help for grids for my own merit in the future.

Please ignore my terrible lower leg, BUT relish in landing
 in an uphill canter!!! HUGE WIN! 

Despite my poor form, I really thought Tillie did great. She actually wasnt diving nearly as badly as she has and that is a huge win! Mare even had flying changes!!!

We did finally get it right with me jumping this to finish:

Sunday:

I finally tried my new PF dressage saddle. I am a bit worried it is too tight on Tillie's shoulders but decided to try riding in it anyway. I do like it, but would want secondary opinions on my position in it vs my Passier. 

I was so pleasantly surprised at the willing horse I had, especially after jumping the day before. She usually gets wound so tight that shes a spinning top until we dressage for a few days in a row. I really think our C lessons are paying off! 

Potential new trainer to try:

I'd like to preface this by saying I am not eliminating or leaving any current trainers I ride with...but I feel more help for us would be a good thing lol. I am trying a new trainer this evening - Ill refer to him as N. My hopes is to use him as an additional resource as a jumping coach or even trainer for Tillie to help me where I cant help Tillie yet. 

He has already seen the videos above and pretty much said he personally doesnt compete until the horse is 100% (So admittedly I am worried he may even be more strict then D)...While I do agree, I also think she hasnt been unmanageable at shows or worse then home and getting her out there for the experience is worth it. I guess I was a bit sad hearing that because while I know we have work to do it makes me feel sooo stuck at BN. Anyway...In time right?

Ill be sure to capture some video or pics and fill everyone in tomorrow!