I have been focusing a lot more on Tillie - partly because she needs it and Kiss is way easier to maintain - but also because we have lots of holes that need fixing with her being off last year.
I took her to Windurra and attempted to try a waterford bit on her and well, lets just say, she HATED it.
You can see how she is practically running through it - sure her head is up, but she was pissed.
More in the waterford...you can tell she's just rushing and unsettled. So we only did one more set of jumps before Dom had us change back to our original bit because our steering was a bit altered from how distracted tillie was:
She settled down a little but still was holding a bit of a grudge...however Dom upped the difficulty to get her thinking which helped throw her a curve ball and get her mind off being mad.
She was being a super finicky ride at this point but the good moments were starting to come through. She surprised me with how straight and confident she was to to the skinny...which tend to be her nemesis when we havent seen them in a while:
Then we moved on to the water which really showed my lack of trusting to start this season...and learning to need to stop wanting to always do the add:
ANNNNNDDD the blooper of the ride...our first attempt at this corner combo. Which was hilarious...and took me off guard because Tillie's approach was good until the last stride when she decided the grass was horse eating and she wanted nothing to do with it.
Dom wanted us to keep going to the jump into water and im pretty sure my pants matched the first time through (Remember my fear of downhill?!)
But we scraped through it and of course had to do it again:
So I felt good going into fair hill last weekend. But more to come on that soon.
I am so very excited to be writing this post because I am almost still in utter disbelief it happened! But Tillie and I did it...we completed our first PRELIM! What's more, is it was a cold, rainy day with less than ideal footing conditions (which I won't lie had me questioning if I was going to withdrawal). I was already super nervous and the added rain really made me question if I was insane enough to give this a go...
Tillie and I in our stadium round
The dressage arenas were the worst, followed closely by stadium, but shockingly the XC course was holding up nicely so I chose to give it a go and if things felt uneasy to retire. I had to ride our test off the muddy worn in paths so it hurt our score a bit, but I was so elated with how relaxed she stayed. Not to mention the fact I remembered the entire test was truly a feat in itself.
I was tearing up after our dressage
I walked the XC course after dressage which was good so I could see how the footing was holding up. Seneca did a great job patching what needed patching and keeping us safe. Some of the other levels they removed jumps or provided options because of the footing.
Intermediate actually ended up sharing about half our jumps...which made me feel even more bad ass (lol yea....).
Movin up to those ditances
Tillie warmed up like a beast for stadium and I felt really confident going into the ring. The first three fences rode well and Tillie was on point. We came into a two stride which Tillie slipped at the second fence nearly taking the entire thing down but the top rail popped off.
I got a bit greedy and too careful at this point...Tillie learned and took off huge over the next fence but this is where I got a bit too addy with the first slippage and rail in my mind and got her in a bit too weak (it was a triple bar oxer) and she barely took to top rail and then got flat and misread the related distance to the next fence.
After that she sat down and rode the triple combination and final bending line like she was born to jump this height and higher...so I know the rail issues we will iron out.
Soaking after the show...Goose totally convinced he can join me
I felt pretty darn proud we did it and I walked out of there knowing exactly what I did and how we can fix it in the future. But my mind immediately went to XC and I got my game face on.
Dom insisted that I warm up when we talked game plans before the day. He wanted me riding her to the base a few times and then a few more open and back to riding the base to really make sure both my eye and her adjustability were on point.
I didn't want to over do it too much as Tillie already was feeling a bit more tired than usual with the cold rain wearing on her but we did enough to make me feel ok. I set my watch, even though I was told to not look at it, and I was called over to the start box.
At this point I thought I was going to be way more nervous, but I suddenly felt...prepared. I don't know if that is the right word or not.
There were a few jumps on course and combinations that made me really have to think about how to ride into them, what my plan b was if it didn't go according to plan etc. But at that moment, I just took a deep breath, gave Tillie and pat and said, " lets do this."
For the first time I came out of the start box kicking...ok not exactly kicking, but I was ready. Usually I am ok with the slower canter to start, but I remembered Dom's advice about how I better ride up to fences because this itty bitty canter wouldn't cut it at this height.
The first combination on course had me the most worried...it was a big, and I mean BIG double brush table to a roll top skinny with brush. I knew I had to come in with some speed with that height, but didn't want to come in too hot and miss the B element. I watched the intermediate ride through it and it was seeming to ride ok, but quite a few horses did exactly what Tillie did and REALLY overjumped the brush, so I am glad I was prepared for that.
Once I finished that first combination I breathed out a small sigh...Dom warned me about the first combo saying it was a confidence test and would set the tone for the rest of the course. So I felt a very small iota of relief.
We shared the next jump with intermediate and had a open oxer galloping fence just before our next combination. It was a ramp to a 5 stride bank up to a two stride, ramp jump with a massive drop. I don't like drops typically and it did cause my some trepidation walking it, but I just reminded myself to keep my eyes up since woods were just over 8 strides on landing....I didn't need to end up in a tree.
Then we had some galloping tables and space to gallop but I took it easy. The footing here wasn't the greatest since we shared this portion with intermediate and I tried to stay on the outskirts and avoid as best I could. Then it was our next combination which had me slightly worried because it was a pretty big table bending line to a chevron brush - which if Tillie has any jump she might look at, its those.
But I breathed deep and thought back to all the schooling knowing she would do it so long as I had her straight, rode her shoulders and kept a good canter. And I was so floored that despite needing to slip my reins over the table...Tillie hunted the shit out of that chevron.
I had to control my emotions here, but swapped my crop told her how great she was and started preparing for the next combination shown at the early part of the video here:
It was another rolltop with brush but this time a skinny made out of how the brush was cut. It was flush up against a tree on the right side which is why I switched my crop left just in case she glanced off left. It had a down hill landing bending line to the B element: a narrow corner.
Again I had to let me reins slip on landing and a tad more slipped than I wanted with it being so wet and raining...but damn if she didn't lock into that corner and got us there in the perfect striding.
We had one table we shared with intermediate again before coming to the water...which made me fret so hard.
It was a very LARGE tree just before a log/bank drop into water with a roll top out. I saw many horses refusing this log and have seen refusals with this combination when it was set like this in the past (yay for youtube and me stalking old courses lol)
I knew I needed to compress coming in, but not lose the power. Tillie once again took care of me and did the entire combination like a pro.
We had one more galloping fence, another table...and we had our final combination on course: a full coffin. It walked tighter that it rode, so thank goodness Tillie isn't ditchy because we had to add a stride to make it work - which benefited us in the end because the footing here was slick and had a fall earlier.
After she came out of the coffin I sat up and told her YOU GOT THIS only one more fence!! And it was a large trakhener we shared with intermediate....so I came around the corner and told myself don't grab her, let her go at it.
She of course soared over it and when all four feet his the ground I choked back a huge sob.
I think its time to upgrade to real ice boots
People likely thought I was insane because the walk back to the trailer I was crying not so silent tears of pure shock, joy, elation and a whole medly of emotions.
I just coulnt believe we did it. This horse just shocks the hell out of me!
So I am debating on letting her end the season here to keep her confidence strong and ending on a good note. So I guess Ill touch base with my professional team and seek input on whats next!
It is a topic I have seen written about again and again where people talk about the struggle of deciding when its right to make the leap and move up to the next level.
Its a topic that there really isn't a blanket answer for (aside from the repeated advice, "Do it when the current level feels bored"). The choice is really personal. One that you can only know from knowing your horse, your own confidence and lots of discussion with the professionals involved.
Going for it
I felt the move up to Training level was pretty huge because for me that level as my big goal. This big thing in my head that I built up. I didn't really think about moving up to prelim until Dom started asking my plans for the season.
Point her at it, She'll jump it
When we discussed it initially, it was agreed we would just see how this season goes at Training level and re-evaluate when I felt ready...as in not hurl when looking at the huge prelim tables. I have been keeping an eye on Prelim courses when I have walked my own. Some have looked HUGE. Slowly though, they have started looking more doable. I would find myself thinking, "We can do that!"
Skinnies are becoming less of a thing
Realistically speaking, I was totally fine with the plan of getting miles at Training level considering the struggles we had even completing an event without forgetting a test or **ahem* a jump. I knew I needed to become comfortable enough where I did not feel so frazzled.
Getting the hang of this!
Interestingly enough, by the 3rd Training into this season I stopped freaking out at the size of certain jumps on my course and started thinking more about timing, how to approach it etc. Without fail when walking my course, I almost always would have one fence that I would frantically text Dom and ask, "We have jumped something this big right?"
Water jump!
Any prelim jump in comparison scared the pants off me. But I noticed by the time we competed at Seneca, I was eyeing the prelim course while I walked mine and started thinking what we could realistically do and what we needed to start working on to be able to do what I didnt think we could do.
It wasnt pretty, but we did it
Pretty soon I was feeling like more and more of the prelim jumps were looking a little less intimidating, while training level became something that felt pretty easy. I hate saying that because this sport is anything but easy...and that whole wait to move up until you're bored thing, do jumps ever become "boring?"
Anyway, the entry is in for Seneca September 2nd for our Prelim debut. I reached out to the organizers to be sure I had the ability of dropping our entry down if I felt like our schooling leading up to it felt like we werent ready. Ill admit, I was feeling pretty 50/50 on it.
But after this weekend, I have never felt more confident! I took Tillie to windurra to school down banks and skinnies specifically, while also doing other things. But its no secret I hate down banks...and Skinnies are really the step up to prelim I am not 100% confident we are confirmed there.
Ill post more on the specifics later, but lets just say, we are ready!!
It's amazing looking back at old footage or photos how easy it all looks. But we all know, in the moment or even moments surrounding that moment was a ton of blood, sweat and tears.
Lately, I have been really nostalgic and review tons of old footage and photos. I guess I am hungry to reflect, learn and keep growing despite feeling a bit unmotivated as far as actually getting in the saddle lately. I blame this some what on an impromptu weekend away at a barn friends bachelorette weekend...and it was right up my ally ( much to my surprise)
Dont usually like selfies or this much of a close up...but gotta love the beach curls
It was really nice to lay around, nap on the beach and most of all swim...what can I say, I am an active person at hear ;)
I realized on my mini vaca that I feel a bit unmotivated in general and have felt a bit weird lately when it comes to riding. Reflecting on this more, I sort of feel like its because I reached my HUGE milestone I set to make it to training level. While there is much to work on and clean up here, its a major accomplishment for me that we made it here and with me in the saddle.
Lots of this lately and its lovely
Dont get me wrong, the lessons are still happening...and lots of learning. I am just laying a bit low lately, hence the lack of blogging.
ALLLLLL the lessons still
Tillie has been on point, and we have gotten great feedback in lesson noticing overall improvement and thats great to hear! I am still my own worst critic and can admit at times when I feel defeated, I back off before I rally and make my big comeback to kick my fear's ass.
Like galloping on purpose at home in the field.
Ive turned to an old friend lately to help me relax when I dont ride, and its sketching or drawing!! For those that dont know me well, my degree is in art and design. While I do more marketing and graphic and web design now, my passion still is with good old fashion illustration and painting (particularly charcoal or oil paintings)
Beginning phase of my latest drawing but now including color pencil
Final result
It has felt reallllly good to pick up the pencil again...and I love being able to combine both horses and drawing together. My goal is to fill up my sketch book and just experiment....and i hope it carries over to my riding too. Stop trying to make it all so perfect and just get lost in the art of it all.
I finally today got my professional photos from our last event at Waredaca and boy am I excited to share them. I purchased them because I feel like they captured all Tillie and I have worked for this year...and it basically is me reliving the glory of this moment. Running the XC and being so stoked we ran Training I was choked up running across the finish here.
I really love the last two because you can see me grinning from ear to ear...which is rare to see me do when riding, let along mid-jump. Look at all the other photos and my face ranges from being dead serious, to GRRRRR to "holy shit."
But these last two really epitomize the relationship Tillie and I have built this year. This was one of the trickier combos on the course. It was the B element after a fairly decent bank up, bending line to this skinny. Tillie was brave, hunted the fence and took me right to the base of it without any hesitation at all.
I knew once we jumped it we were home free and my smile and HUGE praise to her and pats after this were just so ridiculous, but to me this moment was the height of all we worked for.
Call me a sap, call my sentimental...but getting to this point has been quite the journey. Most of it documented here. I fret over small things and agonize about our progress, but at the end of the day THIS photo captures our journey this season. Our #progressnotperfection.
I LOVE this mare so much for being able to start this season out at BN and doing Training, with me in the saddle, in the same season and feel sooo good doing it. Sure, her rider needs to figure her shit out and stop getting so nervous, but my mare has stepped up and proven she thrives in this sport. I cant even believe I ever questioned it now.
I promise to try to update my blog more regularly...we have some more things and events on the agenda before the season ends to stay tuned!!!
Before Tillie and I had our fall last weekend, I have been thinking of asking Dom to ride her or at least hop on her to get a feel for her. I know from watching my own videos and teaching that it sometimes feels really different than it looks. I also am a big fan of my instructors or trainers getting on my horse so they know what I am dealing with...I think it gives them more insight and tools to help us.
#mareglare
I used to be much more open to handing over the reins and letting anyone get on Tillie...but lately I have been a bit more guarded of her and trying to keep my rides crystal clear for her. Obviously a professional rider I trust and like their riding style is always welcome...but I have also been protective of her because she gets a bit emotional about new riders...like profusely sweats it out so I know mentally is a bit thrown.
Ok ok Ill be nice...
But when I spoke to Dom earlier in the week about our event, he suggested he get on her to school her around and I couldnt have been more thrilled. My thought process being that would be awesome for him to ride her and feel out how confident she really is after everything, and he is the perfect rider to help her out if she was lacking some.
Look at the giant booty!
As I tacked her up, I was nervous and excited. Its always a bit unnerving when youre going to hand over the reins to someone else, but also because I was worried about how she would be with it being her first time jumping again. My gut told me she would be fine, but I of course worry and didn't want her to come out being super stressed.
Dom and I made small talk as he hopped on...believe it or not, my stirrup length didn't need to be adjusted for him at all :) I guess I never realized just how close in height we are - I am 5'3. We talked a bit more about what happened with the fall as he looked over Tillie's battle scars as he cooed to her how sorry he was that happened to her. I am so thankful for her professional choice XC boots since both her hinds took a beating, but with the strike guard protected her cannon area...
You can see her left hind boot is almost totally brown
from the brown stain of the fence we well at
He reassured me again it was just a fluke, not to overthink it and gave Tillie a pat and said to press on with our plans. We chatted a bit more about those as I put her snaffle on (yes SNAFFLE!) as he talked about bitting and he was confident Tillie could potentially come back to a snaffle for XC...he wanted to ride her in to feel how string she can be.
With that said, he trotted off to get her going and went allllll the way around and back before cantering her in a section of the field with some smaller logs and started popping her over a few things in there. I watched carefully as he jumped the jumps very close...really making her sit to jump. I noticed he was doing the same thing in her canter - really expecting her to collect and sit causing her to break a few times.
He also had her jump the larger log at an angle a few times explaining he is trying to make her think more about the jump and not get so flat on landing.
Its kind of strange watching someone ride your horse...It makes me feel a bit self conscious and odd because I am usually the one riding! Lol and because its someone else riding what you've produced. But once he did a few jumps there, he let them both catch their breath and walked over to me. He said he was VERY glad he had the opportunity to sit on her because he admitted she was certainly had a stronger feeling under saddle than how it looks. He was quite nice about it and said I have done a nice job handling it and could understand some of my own riding tendencies even more because of how she goes. So he said the goal for today, get her thinking more and sitting more.
He moved on to the ditches we have seen before:
He mixed in some canter work which shows the breaking gait I mentioned earlier from how much he was getting her to sit:
Then introduced her to the larger "coffin" complex ditch:
The entire time I could hear him talking to her which was really cool. Her ears were constantly flicking back and forth listening to him. He explained he was going to start this combo to get her thinking quicker and looking for whats next rather than focusing on the immediate jump. He said by doing this it would promote her staying uphill and prepared for the next thing coming.
So he started piecing together the coffin complex. I would have thought for sure he would school just the skinny brush alone before trying it right away, and it did seem to catch Tillie off guard. But with some encouragement and some bloopers, but more encouragement they ended up nailing it:
My first thought watching this series, was oh no...she isnt super confident and that sucks. I can count on one hand the number of times shes refused a jump, and its only ever been one other XC jump. But Dom reassured me after the fact when he let her catch her breath that it was a necessary conversation to have. He said it wasnt the jump itself she wasnt sure about, but a green horse moment of not thinking ahead or fast enough. So he said this complex was tricky and requiring her to think more...
Looking like a real xc horse now!
He said if we havent had that conversation you wont get the growth needed for these questions...meaning the next time you ride something like this and they arent sure, because of this conversation, they'll have the better answer and confidence when you close your leg to do it. He said not to worry, its part of the schooling process and its a necessary evil so to speak.
All I know is, I am glad it was Dom and not me doing it! He was really cool to watch work her through it...and not all of it is captured on video. But he would walk her to the base and give her some leg...back her up down to the ditch, walk her back to it and do this a few times until her answer to the jump was forward. I told Dom Skinnies have always been the one question shes consistently tensed to on approaches, but usually with leg will do it. He laughed and said he could feel her do that yes, but not to worry too much and the more exposure it would come...especially with this being a prelim question.
get it girl! hello prelim questions!
He was quite pleased with her and said shes super smart but also a bit of a tricky ride and "project" but he liked that about her. He said he preferred this sort of horse to the dopey ones that give you the same ride every time. He also gave me some more kudos to how well we have been going knowing this about her...he said shes brave, careful and has self preserving awareness but wont exactly do it unless you set her up and give her the right ride so part of this complex was helping work out her gaining more independence too.
At this point Dom recapped her down hill on landing issue and the want to keep her really compressed when xc schooling, similar to a show jump canter, to promote that uphill jump that we have gotten in show jumping. He said its so much harder XC when you are going faster since it opens the door for the flatter jump, but he felt her learning!
There is an uphill jump!
So next we moved on to another portion of the field with some tables and roll tops:
Then we finished up at the water where she started to run out of gas:
Dom was really excited with the ride and what he learned saying he had some great ideas for some exercises for us that would get her thinking and help her with the jump he wanted her to get. He said he thinks some of it is lack of strength so it will come with some patience.
He also said he insists on riding her a few more times sprinkled throughout the rest of the season even in some show jumping. I cant even tell you how grateful I am for the opportunities we have had this year and the ability to work with such awesome professionals. I really attribute everything this year to them.
So with a huge sigh of relief and some excitement, I am so thrilled for Tillie and more proud than words can say. Not only did she bounce back from last weekend, she totally was a rock star for Dom. It makes me really proud of the work we have put in and helps validate some of what I have been feeling under saddle. I am so excited for the rest of the season!
It has been far too long since I have been able to make it out to a jump lesson with P. I finally caved and we got one on the books for last night which typically we dont do weeknights. A little distance isnt a bad thing...because it was nice to catch up with P and talk about what she has seen improved, what she see still needs work and actually get to work!
Sleepy Tillie and Wick
It has been such a long time I found myself getting anxious in anticipation to see P and wondering if Tillie would even remember being at this farm. Tillie was fine, and has become such a pro at new places (minus the whole dressage part). She hacked out to the ring with her head so low and relaxed I thought she might face plant.
She warmed up wonderfully, which after the previous day's ride was a pleasant surprise. What is so nice about lessons with P is the small stuff I usually work on for dressage I can sort of let melt away and test its staying power here...also for both Tillie and I to let loose and NOT have to stress about the small stuff every single ride.
Gettin it! Tillie didnt even bat an eye at the corner
We warmed up over an outside line and Tillie hit the striding dead on. P sent us around to warm up over the skinnies...Tillie just jumped over them like no biggie guys - which is awesome considering skinnies tend to be the rare time where she questions.
Video of the skinnies:
Next P has us jump a three jump line which rode in 3 strides each...the middle jump was at an angle though so we had to jump it almost slicing it. I knew Tillie wouldnt be bothered by this at all and just sit up and maintain an even 3.
The second part we got a bit short, but P admitted her set up was off but liked how Tillie adapted despite that. She adjusted it and said we would get to do it again when we did the entire course.
Then P pulled out the corner which I felt fine with, but knew I would have to come in really tall and confident since it was skinny. To my surprise Tillie ate it right up:
P put the jumps up a bit higher and sent us through a course. I realize in hindsight that I need to start getting better about riding distances when height changes...I am bad about this in the moment. BUT what was cool about my fails, Tillie really stepped up to the plate and showed me how much shes grown up. While there were some looooong distances which got Tillie a bit flat, what I really likesd was how well she recovered and excited that now we can start getting better at finding the right distance.
All in all it felt really good. P seemed to be pleased and really didnt have much feedback other than the obvious ride more to the base but felt that I did a good job when she didnt recovering and fixing it for the next one and reassured me it would come with more miles for both of us. She agreed based on what we talked about the Training level was within our sights and we chatted about the possibility of trying it out at the recognized event this farm hosts since we know it and can school it before they close off the course.
P actually said she felt height wasnt the issue for us, but rather the questions out XC since she hasnt seen us go XC yet. Can we do coffins? Banks into water etc... But promised we would try sometime soon to try to get out there and start testing the waters.
So we shall see! Where ever we are thats feelin this good is where we will be.
