Tillie prep for the season

I have been focusing a lot more on Tillie - partly because she needs it and Kiss is way easier to maintain - but also because we have lots of holes that need fixing with her being off last year.

I took her to Windurra and attempted to try a waterford bit on her and well, lets just say, she HATED it.

You can see how she is practically running through it - sure her head is up, but she was pissed.

More in the waterford...you can tell she's just rushing and unsettled. So we only did one more set of jumps before Dom had us change back to our original bit because our steering was a bit altered from how distracted tillie was:

She settled down a little but still was holding a bit of a grudge...however Dom upped the difficulty to get her thinking which helped throw her a curve ball and get her mind off being mad.

She was being a super finicky ride at this point but the good moments were starting to come through. She surprised me with how straight and confident she was to to the skinny...which tend to be her nemesis when we havent seen them in a while:

Then we moved on to the water which really showed my lack of trusting to start this season...and learning to need to stop wanting to always do the add:

ANNNNNDDD the blooper of the ride...our first attempt at this corner combo. Which was hilarious...and took me off guard because Tillie's approach was good until the last stride when she decided the grass was horse eating and she wanted nothing to do with it. 

Dom wanted us to keep going to the jump into water and im pretty sure my pants matched the first time through (Remember my fear of downhill?!)

But we scraped through it and of course had to do it again:

So I felt good going into fair hill last weekend. But more to come on that soon.

If you don't succeed try, try again

My mother used to say the saying over and over again, "if you don't succeed, try, try again." Sometimes in a really annoying sing song voice to try to be cheerful when I was down and out about my latest failure. I never appreciated it as much as a kid, but looking back that very support and blind activism to keep trying has made me the glutton for punishment I am today.

No professionals to be found here

Competing and getting noticed in this wonderful sport of horseback riding is not easy. Its flooded with other go getters just like me with the never-give-up attitude. For someone like me who started extremely late and didnt attend my first show until an adult, well you could say I have a lot of catching up to do.

Oh sooo much catching up to do

Its so easy to fall into the trap of never feeling good enough and always doubting my abilities...after all when good riders rider they make it look so easy and effortless. Us fellow riders know that its not, and it isnt for them either...we just get to see the outcome of countless hours in the saddle ironing out all those kinks everyday - some even with it being their full time jobs.

I am just an ordinary person, with an ordinary job, an ordinary social media following (probably with friends and family members tired of the posts gushing about my horse) and a blog to record the progress I make with my horse.

Oh so ordinary complete with trials and tribulations

I fall off, I get back on and I write about it...usually just long winded journals for myself to reflect. I wont deny that I have dreams to be a professional rider, but I am realistic to admit I am not there. I am very much ordinary and its taken me a long time to say that is ok.

It is ok to try and fail. For a long time after getting Tillie, my first off the track green bean horse, I expected myself to always be perfect so I wouldnt ruin her. I started being a working student in addition to my full time job and teaching lessons on the weekend (holy cow that is a lot!) to make sure I was doing it right.

Right or not, it was not all roses and I felt like more often then not I was doubting whether or not this was the right choice for my start in eventing. The advice I have heard after already getting my cheap OTTB was to lease a packer...well gee I did this all backwards...I should have been a working student before getting a new horse and learned on something seasoned for a few years.

Rolex 2015...doubt Ill ever get here but Ill keep dreaming

So the point of this blog is to just throw out there that its ok to fail because it stands for = first attempt at learning. It may take a few tries, but when you finally get that right answer, the good ride or that harmonious moment when it all comes together, it really does make up for the losses. I have finally come to a point where I no longer doubt if Tillie is not the right horse for me. She pushed me past my comfort zone, and still does. She's made me stronger and, under the helpful eyes of many many trainers and instructors (Ill refrain from listing them at risk of embarrassing them from my riding), we have finally seemed to reach a place where we are working together. I am so excited for this year...I know we will have ups and downs, but Im going to keep trying!

When you try and dont succeed, you try try again. Try enough times, you may just get it right!