Jumping all the things

As I have already stated in my other recent blog posts, since coming back into work with Tillie, my entire outlook and approach has sort of evolved in a much more "less is more" stance. The pressure is off resulting in a happier me and a much happier Tillie.

We even did the pinwheel of death without fighting!

Most of that pressure last year was a result from personal things outside of horses and I didnt realize how much it affected me and my riding. I understand now when horse professionals say the largest part of training and riding is keeping all of that in check.

I get it. But way easier said than done.

Tillie agrees

Even when Tillie has given me sass lately...rather than get upset or taking it personally, I laugh! Sure I put my leg on or do what I have to to correct it at times. But most of the time not playing into it seems to do the trick and it has eliminated it to the point it only happens every few rides rather than a few times a ride. 

Tillie likes the new laid back style

So my goal this year is to not let the pressure build. Dont use riding and this as an escape so much so that it creates pressure that leads to it being less enjoyable. So what could be more enjoyable than jumping my super fun mare over some super fun jumps?!

Seriously, shes like a sports car!

February she was still feeling sassy:

Her locking on and sitting that booty down to jump rather than push with her shoulder...<3

Then jumping 3'9 earlier this month:

jump schooling at home...and trying to improve some things

Its been a few days since this at-home jump school so I am hoping I don't miss anything...I also realized too that its been quite a while since schooling at home on my own outside of a lesson or a show. What is interesting about that, is obviously things are a bit different...you dont have to get it done like you do at a show and you dont have someone coaching you when in a lesson.

One of the better moments/fences with nicer position

So definitely more room for error, but also more room to experiment. Which I am trying to do in the hopes of refining my position over fences.

 In addition to this, I am also going to be trying to take lessons on other horses in the hopes I can shake things up and see if that helps at all as well. I am pretty fortunate Tillie is pretty game and tolerant of this stuff. She has her moments, dont get me wrong where she tells me I messed up, but she really seems to be ok even when I royally mess up...she doesnt miss a beat and she comes right back around to the jump all business and confident. I am extremely grateful for that since I know some other horses are trickier rides in instances like that and would back off or lose confidence.

Definitely not lacking and confidence here!

I jacked up my stirrups one more hole to the top hole per Dom's suggestion. I was a bit worried at first that they would be too short/uncomfortable, but after the initial getting used to it, I didnt really notice.

I notice that when I get too forward with my upper body before take off, my lower leg does come back, but for the most part I think that has gotten better. My main issue remains being too grippy with my knee and thigh once Tillie's hind feet leave the ground. So I need to do some serious homework in hunter land and channel equitation-like form.

Trying to fold more so I can release more...but not lay on Tillies neck either

The gripping is something I also do when cantering in dressage, so I have been working hard with C on that as well. Unfortunately the last few lessons I havent been able to convince anyone to come to be able to video...which bums me out because C lessons ALWAYS end up being so packed with knowledge I know I miss that I like re-watching. Its almost like getting my lesson all over again. I also am positive there would be noticeable change in Tillie and I really would love to be able to see it and see what it looks like compared to what I am feeling.

Anyway, thats an entirely different post ;)

Dressage makes Tillie sleepy...arent her big ears just the cutest?!

So here are the videos of us jumping...some misses, but overall I think pretty good! Any misses were totally rider error on my part and I am super please with how well Tillie is jumping. I also am excited shes getting better about getting that left lead!! Not 100% yet but definitely improving now that Dom helped us with straightness.

To wrap it all up, Tillie has been getting massages from my sponsor, Ashley Lynn Moorhouse Equine Services and I couldnt be happier with how Tillie feels. Its a clear difference and our recent dressage lesson the day after was by far the loosest in Tillie's back ever...to the point sitting trot on my part was back to being laughable.

She got one Monday after our derby and she was definitely sore...but Wednesday she was much improved!

Rolex hangover with novice debut on the horizon

So this is a pretty huge deal for me...not only is it Tillie's first novice, but mine as well. I really thought I was destined to be a forever BN rider (not that there is anything wrong with that at all!). I just have set my sights to do more if possible.

First time seeing Tillie since Rolex!!

So my entry went in today for our first novice next saturday...and I was super confident before leaving for Rolex. Our jump schools and XC outing were on point even when it wasnt...we were able to ride through it and just keep on keeping on to get it done.

But since coming back, we just feel rusty.

Isnt she just so cute!?

I didnt waste any time...my first ride back from Rolex Wednesday was a lesson with Dom. Needless to say, it wasnt our best ride ever and was a bit interesting. By the end of the lesson we cleaned things up, but it still just felt a bit out of sync.

Tillie totally loving the spring grass and being in heat

It doesnt help she recently changed fields for the spring-summer, is back out on grass and is also in heat. OHHHH the joys of a mare in heat...when leg = GO but not soften like we have ingrained sooooo much.

Tillie is the angry unicorn while i am and ninja cat

The next day I had a dressage lesson with C and things finally came together a little bit more, but not without the head tossing and sass from Tillie expressing all her feelings.

I tried not to get discouraged by this OR our really shitty rainy weather here....apparently we now live in seattle.

luckily our ring held up ok today

So I was pretty determined to get in a jump school with P being away to get in one more solid school in of coursework at novice height to see if I still felt ready like before Rolex.

Our warm up wasnt spectacular, and I did choose to put her in the pelham (THANK GOD). She was certainly feeling her oats and getting that nice soft canter proved to be a bit of a challenge. Tillie started out with one thing in mind...its DERBY day and we just go flat and fast.

We launch apparently, not jump

But once I checked her a few times, a few things clicked and despite some more bloopers you will get to see, it still felt like we got through it together. I stuck with her and Tillie did honestly try despite having had a less than full workload.

Yea.....3' aint no big deal

Here is our first course...it isnt too terrible, but you can see when she tends to get flat. 

Then she got pissed to have to do it all again and then the bloppers started:

When we apparently forget how to horse....or anything at all:

SO take two:

Not really much better...A for effort....or asinine?

I regrouped and gave tillie a pep talk and said look mare, you and I can do this and despite the footing, we can make a nice clean round right?

Well sorta.....

Not great, but at least we got it done eh?

so I decided ONE more go at it and try to slow it all down a bit. Make tillie not think about getting to the other side so much as just jump the freakin jumps. She was getting a bit tired by this point so slightly heavy. You can see my reins are longer/slipping more BUT it was a nicer smoother round:

All in all I was super excited my position felt pretty good minus a few release issues...thats just a work in progress. I felt like I did a better job looking up and stuck with her despite some of her more powerful launches. 

She had some less than stellar moments, but I am please with her efforts and think if we can muddle through here than maybe just maybe our novice next weekend wont be so awful! 

Dont worry be happy

Lately I feel like my life has been so overwhelmingly busy that its flying by and all I have to keep me grounded is my horseback riding. Its the one part of the day that feels like I can breath. For a long time, Tillie added to my stress with her non-stop injuries, high energy sass and explosions and just general worry. Finally, she is the one thing that is the glue getting me through the day.

Such a gorgeous evening to ride yesterday

With my last day at my current job rapidly approaching, Rolex trip right around the corner and a friends wedding in the not so distant future...I am scrambling just to get it all done. Not to mention some pretty exciting freelance work I am doing on a way cool horsey product Ill announce once I am allowed to!

Last year at Rolex

What's crazy is despite all this great stuff happening, I found myself fretting. Almost like I needed to ask permission from people to allow myself to be excited and be happy. I was raised in a large family where we almost always were taught to sorta stay neutral because it might upset a sibling that may not be having a great time and if we celebrated it might make them more sad. My parents were great in that way because they were sensitive to us all, but at the same time with there being so many of us, more than likely someone was always having a not so great day so the happy sibling had to find another outlet to express joy. (I am making my childhood sound terrible...it really wasnt and it was awesome).

Trail rides are becoming more relaxed and pleasant

I admitted this to my therapist who promptly shouted: "Girl, you have so much right now to be happy about and you SHOULD be! Don't feel bad about, you earned it." She's totally right...I know how the highs and lows work. The highs make it worth fighting through the lows and boy did I have some not all that long ago.

I have so many really cool and exciting things and its OK to be excited about them! I celebrate when others have their exciting things so why cant I do it for myself?

Can barely see it, but there are tiny fox ears hiding from us in the field

So I am working on it...and trying to be exciting without sounding braggy. I dont want to be that person that walks around saying how awesome life is, but, as my therapist said, I am allowed to be happy.

So with that said, I am excited to ride right now. I have a plan, I know our homework and I can confidently flat AND jump at home. That wasnt something I could always say and I am sure wont be...and Jumping at home without an instructor present is a fairly big step since in the past I was too nervous to attempt it.

A portion of our hack out/cool down

I got on yesterday interested to see how Tillie felt after the massage and boy was she super supple. I am super thrilled with how she went especially in her canter. I decided to go ahead and try a jump school with the plan of starting out low and working on getting the correct leads on landing as well as the timing through the corners...I also made a point to attempt to let me reins slip a little longer and allow Tillie to maintain a rhythm with a little less contact.

Jumps are in the process of a face lift and fresh paint! This is the height we finished at.

She did this so incredibly nicely and came right back if she did get excited or flat so we upped the jumps to dig in and do more work. The course that was set up is really fun and had a lot of options, so I left it and just set the jumps a bit higher and adjusted the distances in the lines for us since the one stride (pictured below) and the oxer line (pictured above) would have been WAY too tight.

I started off with the one stride line, bending the the upright skinny barrels, around to the 3-4 stride line (we rode it in 3) to finish on the red white and blue filler.

Tillie jumped them all soooo well and the goal was to do them all out of a more forward, truer 12ft canter stride and she did it beautifully. She knocked a few rails at first...the first one out of the one stride which I dont think she realized they went up that high plus I didnt have her canter big enough and the last fence of the course because of my error. Once I sat up and made sure I didnt drop her to that last fence she jumped it quite well.

These were set at a pretty decent height, most at novice height...my goal was to be able to feel like we could navigate them all confidently to prep for our first Novice early next month. (Yes its true, we entered our first novice event!!! eek!) I am thrilled that its exactly what happened, even over the skinny barrels!! Although that is still one jump that will be homework for us since she really gets tense through her body on the approach. She didnt wiggle up to it like she did the first time we did them a few months ago, but she still doenst quite trust the question yet. BUT we jumped them twice willingly!

Tillie is starting to understand this whole sport horse thing

I didnt push it more than that and quit while we ahead....she half halted so nicely through the turns and came out in a nice forward stride like I asked. We just felt so in tune and on the same page which felt so incredible. What was even more awesome was she was able to go right back to dressage mode and relax which in the past has not been achievable.

To cool out I decided to hack out on the trails through the woods so we could hit some of the hills and get some walking conditioning in. Tillie was way more relaxed and confident than shes ever been and good thing too because we came across some illegal dirt bikers. Tillie flicked her head around a bit in protest and wasnt so sure about them but she kept her head on and I was so proud of her.

Being able to take her out for conditioning like that has been a goal of mine and its nice to feel like I can start trusting her more!

So if anyone read all that, kudos!! And my motto for the day. Dont worry be happy!!!

Making the best of the crummy weather...

Despite me feeling a bit down and out personally, I still am quite excited about Tillie and where we are for the most part.

I am trying my best to keep my demons at bay and focus on how fact Tillie has caught on to things lately...you know focus on the good rather than the bad (like our dressage has felt not as great lately).

Hail balls that were pelting us while riding

To make up for not being able to go to P's weekly jump lesson to try to teach what I could at home...I attempted to school at home so we dont lose the momentum we have had over fences.

Mother nature surely made things interesting and decided to start raining and hailing on us which made Tillie a bit reactive, my cold with them managing to get down my jacked and the footing sloppy. BUT a good barn friend convinced me to try anyway saying that one day I may be competing in something like this and we are eventers...so you know we are supposed to be tough an all.

Tillie looking like a drowned rat

So we started getting ready and setting up....and Tillie had many opinions about everything being in heat and all. I also realized my weirdo horse likes to poop on the wall when in heat:

See fresh one? Yea...and all the other old stains too?

Tillie shaming out of the way...she was a trooper and pushed through despite the weather. It was honestly one the fastest most productive jump school. Excluding warm up took about 15 min, but the mare was so good that we both agreed to stop when we did.

Starting to look like an eventer! 

Mares got springs! 

We warmed up over a small x which slowly built up to low bounces to a one stride vertical to a one stride oxer. We eventually tested Tillie a bit by raising the last vertical of the bounce into the first one stride and the final oxer. She was fabulous!


Here is the compilation:

Trying to recreate the magic at home...

...is a lot harder sometimes than in lessons. Well duh! In lessons, I have an instructor holding my hand, giving me confidence which also gives Tillie confidence. So yea, it makes sense why the magic comes easier in lessons with the puppeting my instructors do that manipulates me and Tillie right where we need to be.

the beginnings of what we were trying to attempt (except this is the RIGHT way to do it)

The point of this post is to sort of laugh at myself and learn from my schooling ride last night with my barn mates. We had it all planned out. We would jump some jumps and set up a one stride line exercise of oxers.

Simple right? We do it every saturday in our P jump lessons...except P is there slowly building them up rather then putting them right up to the final height.

We are all smart adults...but for some reason we didnt think to go hmm maybe we should put these down to cross rails first.

So Tillie and I warm up beautifully. I let her canter out a bit more and she responded coming back nicely. My thought for this was, if I can find this balance during the show season where shes got enough gas to safely compete, but not too much she is harder to half halt Ill be golden.

Anyway, we pop over a small cross rail a few times, then a few random 2'6 ish verticals and she was fine. I worked on my release and trying to find a good distance in our rhythm and not always reverting to adding since that tends to be my go to.

The longer (non short) spot really promotes tillie to stretch better and jump up rather than over her shoulder

So after those felt good I looked at Brita and said ok lets try the one stride line (two one strides). I got a nice canter and made the turn...which in hindsight I should have circled because Tillie lost her shoulder but I closed my thigh and thought hey we got this.

Jump #1 we swiveled with Tillie taking off and seeing the other jumps and just reallllly backed off. so I landed in a heap, lost my left stirrup and in true - lets get er done fashion sat up, closed my leg and clucked her on.

Looking back to a more successful jump

 We got through it. Barely. Tillie landed and cantered off like we just finished and grand prix course with my left stirrup flopping around and all. Which I was super excited about in a way because A) I ALWAYS lose my right stirrup not my left which means maybe, just maybe I am evening out from my last few schooling rides working on my own alignment and B) I didnt feel at all unseated without that stirrup which hopefully means my stickability is improving.

MMMMAAAAYBE we should have been smarter about this and opted to take turns slowly building up to a 2'6 one stride grid eh?

I cant speak for the rest of us, but I can attest that my brain wasnt all there yesterday with how stressful life has been lately in other non horsey areas so Im giving myself a "laugh it off and Ill try to use more of my brain next time".

We did ultimately lower it and go through a few more times just fine and just sort of play around to rebuild our confidence (mostly mine). I found myself not feeling too happy with Tillie being uphill enough and wondered if I was being too hard on her, accurate in what I felt or if the judge from Sunday was still in my head.

Tillie also felt a bit different when switching diagonals which leads me to believe she was a bit weaker on one of her hinds...which it felt the right hind again to me. I always worry, but am trying to chaulk it up to some pretty crummy footing probably making her sore because when I got off to check her legs and poultice her to be over the top safe, both legs felt cold as ice.

So I did feel a teeeeennnyy bit better when a barn mate said she sneaked in a video and I saw it showing Tillie jumping pretty darn uphill. So maybe I need to stop worrying so much about it and just let her figure it out:

Shes getting over stuff without having trouble, she doesnt take rails down a lot at all...so the uphill thing? Who cares (well yes it matters but I think it will come). My horse may not be a power house jumper, but she has game, is brave and does have scope even if it doesnt look all that amazing. And hey, these struggle bus rides that I apparently plan but not enough...Tillie clearly tells me what she thinks and it keeps us knowing where we need to be right?

As far as seeing my form, I now am realizing my release is getting there and my heels are too...but I now notice it isnt the release that is posing a problem, its how quickly I am sitting back in the saddle on landing. So back to the age old question of how to prevent that without my shoulders getting ahead?! UGH.

Waiting is really hard

I have a lot of fun exciting things to look forward to this weekend...and a lot going on between now and then. All good things and as much as being busy can be a bit of a whirlwind, I tend to thrive.

We have been lucky to have quite warm weather move in so its been easy to stay motivated to ride.

Much to Tillie's dismay

I hopped on last night after showing my old trailer to a few interested people and I am reallllly hopeful it sells so I can go get my new trailer for the weekend. I kept the ride pretty light and just pushing some buttons to be sure we were agreeable and on the same page.

She started off a bit distracted since there was a lot going on...amazing when its warm how lessons pick up, leasers are around etc. So when I initially started connecting her at the walk she was a bit fussy.

floppy ears!

But I focused on using my legs and getting her forward in the walk to concentrate. Once I had a reasonable walk and she could bend and counterbend off my leg I ask for a trot. I did some gradual leg yields to help get her testing her balance and was really impressed with how well she settled into them. She stayed much straighter BOTH ways too!!

I will not look at you

I did some ground poles and felt her fill up the contact even more and it felt really nice. She even offered stretch and stated on the contact while doing it for an entire circle!!! I let her catch her breath before cantering and she did beautiful transitions into both leads and I really forced myself to not stay on a 20m circle and stay large around the ring. It paid off!! While she got a big a few times, it was never unbalanced or out of control. She came right back and down to a nice trot after a few rebalancing steps.

After another walk break, I picked her back up and we worked on lengthening around the whole ring and Tillie really seemed to enjoy it. She did break into the canter (albeit a lovely one!) but I dont hate that...she was really trying and I just need to figure out the balance of toeing the line without breaking. I know it will come.

showing off her newly trimmed mane

From here I decided to pop over a few little jumps just to test if we could keep it chill...and Tillie actually offered to jump the cross rails and come back to trot without me even asking...it felt more or less like I thought it and it happened :) So we upped the height a bit and jumped around at about 2'9 and Tillie just felt flawless. 

We jump jumps!!!

 She really cracked her back over a few and really enjoyed herself. After the last fence she dug down and was a bit heavy, but she came back after a short "victory" lap that wasnt out of control, warp speed or containing any airs above the ground.

All in all it was a great brief ride. I could really get used to these! Now we need to practice for the dressage show this weekend!!!!

Just another weekend recap

Besides trying to sell allllll my random horse related crap I am not using, in addition to my TWO dressage saddles that dont fit my mare, I actually rode a good bit this weekend! Lately thats a big deal with the winter blues, especially since P was out of town so we didnt have our usual jump lesson.

Tillie happily schooling at home like its no big deal

I took the opportunity to school at home again...so this is the second weekend in a row without a lesson and jumping on our own. While it may not be a big deal for most, it is for me...because there was a time I was genuinely afraid I would die if I tried to jump Tillie at all.

Last weekend we did the grids, which always makes me feel safer...this week we did a bit more course work and single jumps which tends to open the door for building or sass. BUT much to my delight, Tillie was a gem. This leads me to feel incredibly bad for doubting her still...call it self preservation or PTSD, but I still dont always give her the benefit of the doubt.

The moment Tillie realized we were jumping a kids toy table

I admit, I need to be better in these situations really schooling...not just hopping on jumping around and basically coasting and overly enjoying Tillie being quiet by being a big kid and turning off my brain. My equitation goes out the window, My releases arent there, I dont do as good a job setting her up...etc. So basically I need to start having more purpose jumping at home.

Tillie couldnt have been better though and we did some bending lines, some jumps here and there. She wanted to get behind my leg and contact but be quick like she has the tendency to do, but I tried realllllly hard to not fuss with her and just let her sort it out over the height I had set.

Anyway, Emma was excited and pulled out the fun kid table for us to try which Tillie didnt even blink at.

Ignore my horrid equitation...Ill be beating myself the next few jump schools to force me to be better even when "having fun". 

I almost wimped out of riding on sunday after teaching all day, but realllllly glad I did because I tried a friends dressage saddle on Tillie and it was one of the better dressage schools we have had on our own that felt similar to what I get when I go to C. 

Tillie could actually canter without bracing on the reins...I had no idea how wrong it felt until I felt how right it could be in a better fitting saddle. I could do lengthenings and maneuver her better in the canter...it was all just so lovely.

We ended the short ride with a quick stroll through the gremlin field (most of the horses freak out up there) But Tillie was a solid citizen and walked around cool and calm! I was so proud of her :)

So now on to try to sell my saddles so I can get a new, better fitting one :/

Sunday Funday

I am usually way too exhausted after teaching lessons all day to ride my own horse...but the weather was a beautiful spring - like day in the mid-60's that I couldnt resist. It was so fun too because I had my trusted 3 musketeers to help as jump crew and video...these are a few of my more advanced students that ALWAYS help and are a huge lifesaver many times over.

The end of our ride - all smiles and proud we can not only jump, but we can jump big and keep our heads screwed on:

 I actually used Tillie in an earlier lesson doing this very same exercise just as small x's and was super impressed with her keeping her cool and how well my student rode her (one of my three musketeers). I do always get a bit nervous for both my students and for Tillie because I care about each of them and want to set them both up for success. I was quite proud of them both!!!

So when it came time for my ride, I had the students come down and give me a lesson...I said ok, you tell me what to do and what to fix...what you see happening. I really want them to start being able to talk about what they see. They are great listeners and soak it all in, but I find by allowing them to say it out loud they can start "owning" the information on their own.

Look at those knees! 

I also realized this was my first time jumping outside of a lesson in months....and outside the indoor since before the blizzard. So I tried to remind myself to give Tillie the benefit of the doubt and work towards my goals of releasing more/upper body work and heels down. There was a one stride grid set up made of two one stride fences with the middle fence as an oxer.

So I warmed up while they set the grid height lower(I walked the distances first to be sure!) and started off trotting into the grid. Tillie was a bit excited so I did a few times through halting her at the fence. She needed the check a few times and did blow up on me at one point when she turned one of the one strides into a bounce...but it was for one circle afterwards and to be expected.

Sadly it wasnt caught on video.

Good mare Tillie!

I did school over a skinny a few times around 2-2'3 to start making her look for the fence/get more comfortable with it...my goal for next schooling is to set a few different types out like the barrels on the sides and the mini coops we have. But once she jumped it both ways ok, I stuck with the grid.

But this gem was...not sure whats more awkard, her legs everywhere, her neck or my butt. 

The photo above really captures an awkward moment that really didnt feel all that awkward when riding through it. I had been slowly raising the height in the grid, but wanted to test her scope a bit and my positioning with this last fence and this was the first time jumping it at around 3ft. I dont think she expected it and sorta scraped by with an "UGHHH I WILL NOT TOUCH IT!!" but looking like a lama in the process. But hey, I am releasing and my leg is awesome! And my post worrying about folding...well apparently I can.

WWEEEEEE!!

It felt really good to jump around and feel like I knew what to do, how to adjust and give the kids a few good laughs and let them tell me to release more, heels down!! etc. It actually really helped! I made a point to work on my goals and trust Tillie as she got better and more relaxed.

I mostly stuck to trotting in to keep things slow and because its so beneficial for Tillie but when she would land in canter and give me a nice rhythm I would do that as well.

Watching the footage, I am super impressed with how great Tillie is jumping and lifting over the first two fences...the last one you can tell she still isnt perfect. But I am reassuring myself this will come with time since it wasnt that long ago she jumped even the little fences like that. 

I do think I did a decent job working on my release and could see how it allowed Tillie to stretch more. Heres a clip from the summer over something little where shes jumping not so great like the last fence in the grid. So it does reassure me shell get there!

So heres the entire footage I got from schooling...see if you can hear the one time through that starts off with me not counting properly, yelling Tillie, WAIT....GOOD GIRL!!!! hahaha