I want!

I guess this is sort of like a blog hop because a few bloggers have published an "I want" theme lately and reminding us that we shouldnt be saying "I should be" or comparing where we our with our horse to other people (even though its the world's easiest thing to do). 

This is sort of like a more informal goal post...to say what I want to achieve without the pressure of making it a goal and without comparing to a coulda, woulda, shoulda. 

Undoubtedly, this sport constantly throws us for loops and questioning our progress. Two steps forward, one step back....one step forward and five back. Their are peaks and valleys and its taken me a long time to learn to appreciate the valleys to better enjoy the peaks. Our failures or not so great times are what us able to reach the correct way to do something to reach the peak. 

So I am going to list my wants...as ridiculous as some are, putting them out into the universe will hopefully help them come to fruition. 

• I want to be less of a worry warrior regarding Tillie's soundness and when she does injure herself (I plan to get insurance for her in the near future and hopeful this will appease some of my anxiety). 
• I want to feel better about my riding and Tillie's now that we reached a good constant place, be better about giving us both a pat on the back rather then worry about my position or her form
• I want to be better at trusting Tillie. Shes earned it the last few months. 
• I want to gallop in an open field without Tillie bucking.
• I want to jump down banks or jump a jump down hill and not be tense or worried about it
• I want Tillie to keep liking her job and keep her happy

Last year before our first novice when I trusted her sooo much more jumping.

• I want to trail ride and hack out more often and have a relaxed horse when I do
• I want to cross country school and worry more about the question rather then what Tillie might do next to explode
• I want to show and compete without so much anxiety and enjoy it
• I want to stop worrying about where we are level wise in relation to everyone else
• I want my pride in Tillie to be enough and stop worrying if anyone else thinks she awesome

Tillie knows shes awesome...no self doubt from her!

There are sooo many other I wants that I could list...but I am excited to read this list and notice many of these are in a much better place then my goals from not so long ago. Most of them are personal...things I need to work through and a lot less of them are from struggling to figure it out with Tillie. 

I dont think we are struggling anymore, but rather navigating through this growth and learning as a team now. That feels really good!