Training Level Debut!!! WE SURVIVED!

Well guys, its been an interesting weekend to say the least. I am still recovering from a nasty summer illness...which affected me more than I realized and just has generally slowed me down. I have pushed through though and prepped for yesterday's training debut just a bit slower than I would have liked.

At least I didnt have any melt downs braiding the night before...and I did manage to do three whole braids all by myself before Meri stepped in and helped so we wouldnt be there all night.

All ready to go!

I did try to walk some of my course the night before because I was anxious to see what we were up against...and well, I wish I had more time after dressage to walk and walked it then because it definitely made me nervous...to the point that it completely threw me off my game for dressage and stadium.

Really eerie walking the course at dusk...

Course walking a dusk = creepy and terrifying

I did text a few of my fellow equestrians that evening after walking the first half of my course, slightly freaking out...and every single one were really awesomely supportive and encouraging. Reminding me that Tillie and I have got it!

Dressage break down:

Warm up for dressage at this event was less than ideal. They had two rings running, one in grass, one in sand which I was happy to hear we would be going in the sand. The downfall to that was the warm up was only in a very uneven grass field next to the grass dressage ring...none near the sand one.

She warmed up nicely enough...despite it being really crowded. I did have trouble warming up in our lengthenings because of this which I think led to some of our trouble.

Tillie and I always have issues in dressage with her focus when we cant warm up near the ring. Combined with my lack of focus meant a break in gait in our trot lengthen and a really bizarre sticky lead and wrong lead transition into our first canter lead...and after the first lengthening break, we just didnt recover.

Here is some of the disastrous test:

If we hadnt put in such a stellar test earlier in the week, I might have wanted to kill myself. I would have preferred the better test be in this competition, but it happens. Some days are better than others.

Stadium breakdown:

Being a bit disappointed in myself and not giving tillie the best ride in dressage that I could have, I was a bit anxious to jump. Tillie found a nice rhythm flatting her up in the warm up ring and popped over the little X without issue. There werent any inbetween fences though and when I went to the vertical Training height jump she snagged the rail and got quite offended.

NOW she doesnt want to touch the poles!

After that she was jumping out of her skin...and I had a few moments of OMG.

She went into the ring the same way and I admit, I froze and stopped breathing going into the first line...She pulled the rail (which MANY people did and only 3 people went clear all day in Training). I should have half halted her and made her wait...ah well. The 2 stride turned into a hairy 3 stride and then the one stride line Tillie simply just didnt pick up her feet...and then I soared right past jump 8 winning us a TE - whomp whomp. Tillie was certainly feeling feelings on this day and you can see her head shaking at me multiple times through the course.

Jump 1 before it went down hill

I just dont think we ever hit our stride...we had some nice moments but the whole picture just wasnt there:

Trainer P set the course and told me later the lines were tight and I needed to probably compress her more in them...and she agreed I just stopped breathing. She was very sweet though and told me to shake it off. First Training level event nerves is no joke and laughed and said well now go run XC and the pressure is off!


CROSS COUNTRY!!!!

I warmed her up for XC and we finally did hit our rhythm. She jumped each fence right in the sweet spot and got her leads I asked for and was rideable and adjustable.

Here are the fences on our course:

Tillie jumped this one VERY uphill and landed uphill!

This brush was pretty large...It rode fine though!

I wish I got side pics of these...the A element was pretty wide and tall to a bending
5 or 6 stride line to the B depending on the line you took

This fence scared the pants off me. I had a few other concerns, but this is the one that set me into freak out mode. Not only was it maxed out Training height, it had a bit of a down hill drop on the other side. Plus the gappy space under and placement of the flag sort of freaked me out.

Water to bank up - two stride combo

fence #8

#9 after a gallop through the woods

This was also a pretty tall brush. It came up to just under my bra line

BIG and WIDE table...i should have gotten better pics of it. Def maxed out training...but it rode nicely

14 A of the coffin

C element of coffin

Looking back at the coffin from the C element

Trakhener - more novice sized...not huge

#16

#17

I was really nervous about the first half of the course. I was confident once I got past the water complex, we would be all good.

Jump #6 had me tweaking big time...luckily trainer P was there when I mentioned it and said oh you do a great job sitting up and not laying on your horses neck so youll do fine with that one with the drop!!! Just let your reins slip out!

Luckily we got it on video and just watch it...look at the air time!! That fucker was huge and I almost cried tears of joy when we got through it...not only got through it, but ate it up no problem!

I am sooooo beyond thankful they still let us run XC because it was the saving grace of the day. Tillie was confident, bold and taking me to the fences. She never once got flat galloping and was looking for what was next. We found a wonderful rhythm and she compressed well for me at the combos but also took a nice forward stride when called for it too.

I just wanted to kiss her after! Even with our not so great morning in the first two phases...but we completed a true recognized Training level XC course and that to  me is a win. Not only did we complete it, but it felt GOOD.

Sure am I disappointed in the first 2 phases? Absolutely because I know we can do better, in fact we did at Loch moy just the weds before. I know though, that I was way too distracted by the XC and now that it went as well as it did, I can breath a little easier having confidence knowing we CAN do this at Training level.

So rather than dwell on the not so great of the day, Im choosing to celebrate the fact we ate up XC and it was FUN!

So lots of homework for us to try to even out the phases at this level.

Training Level test run results

Yesterday, Loch Moy had another one of their lovely Twilight Events where you can run a full 3 phase event right in succession...so basically you would do your dressage and proceed right over to jumping.

I chose to do an XC lesson with Dom (Recap here) on Tuesday so decided to only run the CT portion of this event and skip XC as not to over do it jumping for Tillie. My goal was simple, go and run through the dressage and stadium portion of Training level and see how it goes. I didnt set the bar too high and I just went into it with the repeating theme lately of: Leave Tillie the F alone and let her training come through.

fancy pants

Warming Tillie up she felt like a well oiled machine. She new her job and was pretty on point. She felt really nicely relaxed and she required me to use a lot more leg to get her going a bit which isn't surprising with how hot it got on that black surface.

 My only tiny nit picking complaint is that lately our stretchy trot has seemed to disappeared. But its a small thing, and something we can get back with more work. I usually do it every single ride, but since starting our rides back after her feet issues, I have sort of lost sight of it which clearly reflects in the movement not happening right now.

BUT we are getting more adjustable and able to be moved around!

 I think a huge factor of Tillie feeling so relaxed is I shockingly was pretty relaxed. Maybe because I wasnt sure what to expect and didnt set any expectations other than lets not forget any parts of the test...maybe from showing so much that these twilight events feel like awesome relaxed glorified lessons. Who knows, but whatever it is, its working well for Tillie and it is also allowing me to be a whole lot less fussy with her in test riding which means shes balancing more and more on her own!

Getting some uphill trot moments!

 I do think the judge was quite lenient and scored generously, but I was really floored with our results when I finally got our tests: 26.9!!! I even snagged an 8.5 mark towards the end of our test with an 8 in rider position and aids!! Heck I used to score terribly there!!! The collective remarks at the bottom were in regards to our stretchy trot and lengthenings which I agree with and I think will come with more time riding this test. I couldnt be more pleased and over the moon with Tillie!

Here is our whole test:

After a quick tack change we headed over to warm up which I chose to keep her in the snaffle since shes been jumping in that for stadium quite well. Dom also recommended that to see what we had. And boy was I not disappointed. Tillie was lovely in it. She was a bit stubborn about giving me her leads, but I think some of that is still me being a bit off my own game...but I do feel it slowly coming back!

My goal for this stadium was simple: NO pulling back. I *think* I did a good job with that. There is only one instance where my reins had to slip I did need to shorten them, but other than that on approaching fences I dont think I fussed with her or tried to bury her to any. Tillie was pretty forward but not pulling or being overly strong at all...she did however celebrate after one of her flyings:

Watch vvveerrry closely - she throws some head tossing sassy my way

We started off in a nice rhythm which unfortunately my videographer forgot to start filming but thats ok! Im thankful to have any footage!!

I think this round was really educational for her because I made a point to leave her alone more. Especially the bending line to jump 5. I didnt pull her up, I simply closed my outside leg and opened my inside rein to get the turn...so you can see she got a bit surprised at it because she got a little low looking for me to help her. After that she sat herself up and I didnt have that issue again!

As much as I wasnt sure about doing this CT...it was exactly the confidence boost I needed going into this weekend for our full debut. Tillie continues to surprise me and it makes me incredibly happy. 

I was of the belief not that long ago that I would have one of my trainers run her through her first few training levels, but I think we got this together and we will figure it out. It certainly has helped I have gotten the vote of confidence saying we are ready from 4 of my current trainers! So all i have to do it trust in tillie more, not pull on her and keep my leg on!

Piece by piece - our lesson at Windurra!

Fair warning, this will be a longer post that really dives into details so I can have an in depth account of my XC lesson yesterday. Mostly because I feel like Tillie and I are in another growing pain stage where we are pushing more outside our comfort zone to improve, so it feels a bit discombobulated. But I want to revisit this for my own merit so this lesson takeaway is my new mantra until we get it right.

Dressaging earlier this week after a storm...

I was so excited when Dom finally got back to me upon his return from his travels early Monday and said he could do a lesson Tuesday at windurra farm. With our approaching move up to Training this weekend I was really wanting one more jump lesson...and I was happy to jump on it being an XC one too since I feel the most unprepared in this phase at this moment. 

So much water...but we needed it!

 The ground was perfect after the rain we've gotten and boy did we need it. The ground has been so hard this season I was a bit concerned about continuing many events this year. But we finally got some rain so walking around at Windurra right away I was happy with how much better it was.

Tillie sees jumps in our field...this will become our homework after yesterday.

Its been a while since seeing Dom, and I admitted to him that Tillie and I feel like we've reverted to some of our bad habits...also mostly because some of my trust has slipped in her after the fall despite it not really being her fault. Ive fallen into the trap of trying to help her too much which allows her to lean on my hands and brace which helps no one. Dom laughed and understood completely and agreed when he rode her too shes a bit tricky regardless in that she does seek out "help" and used the most perfect analogy and it also happens to be the very theme of this lesson and the forefront of what we will be tackling:

Stronger or hot horses tend to make a rider want to ride half halting or holding all the time, similar if he said "hey, the brakes in my truck only work 1 out of 3 times you use them...you'll probably start break checking quite frequently to ensure you can stop" 

Warming up

The trick is getting out of that mentality as far as horses go and use the other tools you have around you to get them to balance and slow down. So for us Dom wants me to start relying more on my turns and the approach to get it right and not fall into the trap of straight approaches and using my reins to get the right distance. 

He made another excellent point that we need to find the happy medium between always me trying to get the perfect distance and letting the horse figure it out, but that comes with time and practice.

Get the gist yet? :) 

Basically in a nut shell, stop using my half halts so frequently. Let Tillie make the mistake at times, but also let her carry herself. Use the turn to get the right distance and sometimes it will require pushing for it to get deep rather than holding the canter back. 

Love my lessons with Dom!!

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Breaking it down

 If you arent bored to tears yet, Im going to go ahead and post my videos and break down each portion we schooled and what we worked on.

Warm up:

Here Dom is discussing using my turn better to get the distance. I went a bit too far out for his liking and wanted me to turn a bit closer so we dont have so many straight strides for the purpose of this exercise:

A little bit better, Tillie is still very excited and pulling at this point:

Using the turn finally the way Dom wanted us to and using my body over hands to set her up:

Putting together two jumps and incorporating turning

The first time through we achieved what Dom wanted at the first fence, but the second we had a bit of that flying distance Tillie likes to do if I hold too much. I probably needed to half halt harder on the outside rein father back in the turn, then be quieter:

Second time was better even being on the wrong lead:

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Ditches

Just a warm up over the small one which Dom wanted us very collected.

He wanted us to come back around and open up our stride more over the larger ditch then ride to the brush, but we didnt quite get there and stayed too compressed.

So he had us do it again:

It was at this point I believe he was starting to get me thinking about related distances and riding more prepared for the second fence rather than the first thing we are jumping. It didnt quite set it until a bit later.

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Corners and Skinny - Oh My!

Here is where we started really breaking down the accuracy question a skinny jump presents. Dom had me start with smaller logs and practice getting the right ride before sending us right over the larger wider skinny brush. He did have us walk up to too to present Tillie to it and introduce her. 

Basically Dom said this one you want to ride sitting in the tack. You use the turn, get your ride and push to it but most horses will run out right at that last stride when most riders start to get into a 2-point. So he stressed to really ride it until her front legs lifted. 

Hey - we know I have no issues riding defensively. 

The next goal was the type of approach to it for your horse. You need to have just the right canter, not too forward or too compressed, but they need to be between both legs and pushing right to the base which we sometimes get that flyer when overthinking this...

Like so:

 ^^ basically exactly NOT how to ride it

So we try again and kind of over did it:

So Dom encouraged just find something in the middle:

He was satisfied with that and then sent us around to the double brush skinny:

Not going to lie, I feel pretty bad ass for accomplishing this one!

LOVE this still!

Before I could relish in how awesome it was, Dom sent us around to ride the corner to the skinny. He broke down how to ride it and it was definitely a more skinny and true "corner" than any other one weve ridden before:

You can see we hit the flag pole so my leg came back with it a bit...but Dom said he was impressed with our recovery.

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Big wide jumps then compressing for tight combos

Next up, how to ride a larger wider fence then compress for the tighter shorter stride combos we may start seeing at Training level. Dom warned me the first jump was much larger then it appeared so I needed to have a nice forward enough canter to it to make the width and let her gallop a few strides but use a quick half halt but be soft and get a compressed canter for the one stride at the angled roll / offset roll tops:

We got in a bit too deep so we came back just to do these again:

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Ditch combos and how to ride them

We moved on to a baby ditch combo where Dom said for these, you dont want to come in too under powered either because the one stride for this was quite longer. He also warned the jump had a bit of a downhill landing so not to let myself get pulled forward like I tend to happen when I hold too much with my reins:

Tillie put her foot in the ditch this first time lol, so we came to do it again, but otherwise Dom liked the ride and approach.

Second time:

This way coming in, made more sense to me as a rider. I struggled a bit more when we came back and did this combo in reverse. Once again, too much holding and trying to get deep or that perfect spot:

So we try again to no avail since my response was to try to sit her back more:

Dom finally said something that clicked about getting to the base doesnt always mean wait or add...it sometimes means the push. So we try one more time:

Dom was pleased with this one and said we came in a similar way all three times, but the way I rode it changed the way the combo rode. Try more for adding the leg not bring the canter back...which for me is sooo hard when I am lacking that trust in Tillie. 

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Water Complex

Just a nonchalant warm up:

After the fence in the water Dom wanted us to do these skinny brush fences in a line around to a water combo. which we got a bit stuck at the brush fences when we ran into the same issue of Tillie not wanting to wait.

Part of it was being unbalance with the wrong lead around the turn, but Dom has us do it again and make it educational for her:

So we came back one more time just to set it in stone:

Which finally was our get out of jail free card to continue to do the water combo which Dom pressed to make sure I keep my eyes up and not let them drop on landing (another bad habit of mine) and really keep my shoulders up:

It went quite well! Dom did say he was pleasantly surprised with how well I stayed up and didnt get caught up with getting pulled forward with my shoulders. Tillie got quite excited with this combo!

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Corners Bending line

We ended the day with two corners on a slight bending line. The first attempt we took a bit long spot for the 5 but Dom didnt completely dislike it, but wanted us to try more for a controlled accurate distance and add for the 6:

All in all, I am proud of Tillie being so game...and doing well despite my slight hesitation. I am not quite on my A game like I have been earlier this season, but I am starting to feel some of my mojo come back. I wouldnt say I am nervous and scared when seeing jumps, But I am back to riding defensively. So I need to work on trusting Tillie again and I DO believe when we get there, my position woes will also come with it. 

Our homework is to go home when we can and jump outside the ring, in a field where we can use the turns to help with distances and focus on not pulling so much. When Tillie does use other tools to get her to listen. 

Take that double brush table!

I've been terrible about keeping up my daily blog or rides...lately I have been a bit of a physical disaster with a summer cold or something dragging me down. I am never sick, so when I am, I am bit of a baby about it. I haven't let it stop me from riding though since there is no rest for the wicked ;)

Tillie apparently morphs into a zebra when it rains around here

This week came up really fast amid some of her foot tenderness which luckily has mostly subsided...I feel like we just are getting back into the swing of things and we have some big plans for this week and weekend: Its our big move up to Training Level.

Our lesson Friday night with trainer D who we havent seen in a while

I won't lie in admitting that I am feeling a bit unprepared, mostly I think because we had a lull in riding...but also because my current roster of trainers have been off showing themselves so I havent had my normal lessons. I have snuck in a few with some past trainers or some I havent seen in a while.

I do however trust the training we have put in and feel a whole heck of a lot better when hearing trainer D very nonchalantly tell me we are ready...for him to say that is pretty validating since hes always aired on the side of caution and have told us to wait or hang out at a level if he felt it was needed.

Droopy lip waiting for our lesson

 I realize I need to stop relying on outside sources as validation and believe it myself...which it is coming in waves. I wouldnt exactly say Im lacking confidence, but I am not a fan of the lack of saddle time we have had leading up to this week. At the end of the day, I still am trusting in our training this summer and confident in many ways. We have been working diligently and I know its paying off.

Tillie isnt so sure

The biggest triumph this weekend was the fact Tillie and I conquered the blasted double brush table we fell at earlier in July...not only did we jump it, we did it a few times and not once did Tillie even question or look at it. Clearly she doesnt have any recollection of that particular fence...even if I do. I was happy and slightly terrified to see it the same exact place when we arrived Saturday.

Happy because the question of it wouldnt be nearly as hard if it was moved, but terrified because well its fucking huge and jumping into really dark woods and it didnt end so well for us last time.

Tillie isnt worried at all about anything

It was down pouring as well...so by the time we finished schooling, Tillie and I looked like we had just went for a swim in a lake. I was counting my blessings for being a true horse person with so much crap in their car that I was able to Frankenstein some dry clothes for the very long drive home in the torrential downpour.

Tillie and I both a bit having heebie jeebies at a very empty loch moy

When we first arrived to the XC schooling, it was really strange because of how empty it was. I have only ever been to this facility to compete so its usually hustling and bustling with hundreds of people and horses. Tillie was a bit looky but happily munched on her hay while i put her studs in...which I was very proud of how smoothly it went compared to some recent past attempts.

Ghost town

Once the instructor arrived with a few students in tow it felt a bit less spooky. We warmed up in the ring so jumped what was set, which looked like 2'3 fences maybe a few BN:

I thought Tillie felt pretty darn good despite one long spot going into a two stride where she got a bit flat which is normal for us warming up...shes always good for one flat/launching fence. 

We went out to warm up XC and I felt myself trying to remind myself to stay calm. I realized it was my first time xc schooling since my fall. Tillie was behaved for the most part but man my release is pretty standard arms straight body back...the same old positional flaw that just wont go away as part of my PTSD/defensive riding. 

True to form, the longer we went, the better tillie settled in. We started with the logs, then a roll top to a produce stand and a table looking thing. The biggest thing this instructor kept telling me was I was messing with her too much before the fences...which I know I can be guilty of at times and maybe with my PTSD was doing more...but I just didnt feel 100% great in general about the outing.

Another warm up fence

Once we warmed up we made our way over to THE fence. The instructor had me think more about setting her canter up, half halt and then leave her alone but leg on...basically more forward to the fences and stop trying to wait for that perfect distance. Which I do agree I do...the trainer said she knows its scary to do, but Ill have to let Tillie make those choices more and to stop helping her so much.

Lattice fence leading to the double brush (sadly not pictured)

Coming up to the brush and quick internal dialog was "Yep this is happening, OK we are doing this, ok mare get it!!!" She REALLLY soared over it all three times we did it. On landing I felt myself really absorb the landing with how hard she jumped it. The trainer had us circle back and jump it a total of three times...first time was just do it to get over the fear, second time she had me really work the canter on the approach then be quiet with my hands and really push her at it which was slightly terrifying, then the final time find a happy medium.

The dreaded double brush table i stole offline.

At this point it started to really rain...but we pushed on to jump the training level open oxer in the woods...which I found the exact one on a coursewalk app because it was pretty big in my humble opinion...and Tillie thought so too:

 She sort of looked at it the first time, requiring me to give her a little pop on the shoulder with my crop...so the second time she decided she would just try to run at it, which I made her circle and get it together...and she came back at it the next time fine, but it wasnt the perfect distance which the instructor said fine to it and it was educational for her.

We moved on to the bank combo up to a training level house...but by this time it was raining so hard we all were water logged and the footing was starting to get a bit soggy too. But the instructor pressed on for us to gallop over to the water and do a few more things.

She had me do a jump one stride into water...then right away a slightly larger novice jump into water to the island bank up then bank into water.

See the bank behind the huts?

The first time Tille got to the bank down and sorta slammed on the breaks before dropping in...the second time she did it no issue. I think she got a bit surprised by it. We moved on then to a turning jump exercise which Tillie did fine, just got a bit flat to the B element...but trainer said not to do it again with the rain just to be sure to ride just as active to the second element as the first.

Finally we finished with a blue log skinny up a steeper hill..We did that twice and called it a day.

All in all I am proud of Tillie and I needed to get back out there. The pouring rain didnt deter her at all. I am planning to go one more time with Dom this week to windurra just to really feel secure about things (hopefully).