Sunday, September 4, 2016

Hello again

I apologize for my long hiatus...not that I have a huge following or anything. But we are alive and well, relatively speaking. I have been a bit busy with life lately and havent had much time to write about what we are up to.

Post Chiro / accupuncture yesterday!
Right now, we are up to trying to find our center. With all the events and going, its been a whirlwind. Its been fun and full with emotions (ranging from elation to disappointment). I was going to try to enter another event this coming weekend, but mentally, I need the break and feel the need to take some time to assess.

Taking some long walks has helped some

As a whole, I am feeling really proud and happy with our progress this year. Its incredibly easy to get caught up in the day to day and focus on how its going right now...but taking a step back, we have progressed immensely, completely surpassing my expectations for the season.

From a "D" lesson last saturday...can you say over jump?!

I say all of this to lead into what I am feeling right now: The need to focus on lessoning. You know, the kind of lessons you do some soul searching, rip off the band aid and sweat it out? (Not that we havent had those lately...) But with every event or show, there is a tiny bit of helping we do for our horses; That lets get it done ride sometimes you have to pull out of your back pocket to get home safely.

Tillie has been incredibly resilient with all that we have done. Reflecting back of all the events this year, she's become easier and easier at events requiring a lot less of that "Get it done" or helping her through. We have reached a point of maintaining....a plateau if you will where now its time to change the game. Ask for more independence and trust. That takes a lot of hand holding from my instructors to get me to let go and stop micro managing Tillie...but its time.

Let that baggage go!
We are at a pivotal moment in our training where a break through is about to happen, but that also means existing in a state of unpleasantness right now. I am getting better at understanding Tillie's reactions so the trust is getting there. It unfortunately did regress a bit with our fall, so I am hoping I will find progressive comfort in my lesson plan with my trainers in the coming weeks.

Personally I have been feeling a bit off, and that is across the board even in life. So I have decided to take this time and find my inner zen. I have been wanting to connect and find a deeper trust towards Tillie lately anyway...and I know its all mental. The mare has been phenomenal and not giving me any reason to be worried like with her antics last year...but I am having a hard time letting go.

Tacking up for our D lesson...I love my trailer.
I am fortunate to have great people in our corner and a horse the genuinely wants to work. Emotionally, I have my personal set backs, but damn if my mare always makes a point to pull out the ride I need just as I start tipping over into crazy-town.

I have been doing too much thinking lately...a lot of nostalgia to earlier in the season when I got to go to more events with my barn friends. I dont get to as much right now for different reasons for each person but it does make me sad. I think most of my funk right now is related to that...this sport is so social. It has a lot of highs and lows, both which I covet having those people around.

It sounds silly to say, but it does feel a bit lonely. Im over joyed with the season and am pretty determined to keep at it, but there just seems to be that nagging, underlying thing. Im sure its just a transitional thing...Ill get used to it.

More updates to come soon!!

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