Shit Storms Literally DO Happen

This will be an unrelated horse post...but I feel the need to share this story in the hopes that my horrid experience can maybe provide some humor.

I get home from riding after my not so great ride on Tillie (See my blog about it here). and was unwinding with my husband. Its not too often we get to with being on different work schedules. I had a few glasses of wine and then we were getting ready for bed and hopped in the shower.

A few minutes into the shower, I start catching whiffs of something not right...being in a bathroom I thought maybe my husband just didnt flush. He swore up and down he didnt use the bathroom (but for him that wouldnt surprise me if he did and was just trying to convince me he didnt). So I peak out from the shower curtain to check to see....

....a fountain of liquid pouring from the ceiling vent and pouring down the walls. To my horror, I realize this wasnt just any liquid...but the human kind. Thats right folks, it was PEE.

Not sure what came over me but JUMP out of the shower and sprint (sopping wet and in my birthday suit) out of the bathroom to do an emergency shut off of the water ONLY to discover the carpet is also SOAKED and most likely in the same liquid pouring from the ceiling.

Did I mention I was horrified already...well this just set me over the edge.

My husband is a bit slower then me to process what is happening and chooses this moment to follow me out of the bathroom and the only thing he can muster is: WTF?

Yea, my thoughts exactly. So we plan to divide and conquer. He was to call insurance and an emergency plumber while I was to try to salvage and save anything we had in storage nearby or our furniture in case it spread. 

At this point I did manage to throw something on blindy that later my husband laughed because it was fluffy tweety bird shorts and a fall out boy shirt. Sexy right?!

As I run out of the bed room in a mad rush, I go to use our other, upstairs bathroom to grab a few more towels and guess what - it gets worse. I open the door to find shit, yes I said shit as in human shit EVERYWHERE. 

LITERALLY.

At this point I just start laughing/screaming...I really couldnt decipher my hysterics at this point. To make matters worse, it was at this point I realized we couldnt run water to clean any of this up...so in essence we were shit out of luck. Please excuse the Puns. 

My beautiful house was literally defiled. I wont go into much more detail for fear of making you all sick, but my night ended with long rubber gloves, trash bags tied around my legs, a gas mask (dont ask why we have one on hand), and all the ammonia and bleach I could find. 

So if you think YOU have had a bad week...please feel free to stop by my house which is currently undergoing a hazmat worthy cleaning courtesy of our insurance company for the next week before we can even begin discussing, let alone doing, a remodel. 

I am pretty sure I have taken more showers and used more hand sanitizer in the last few days then my entire lifetime up to this point. 

Here are some photos of the initial clean up we did the first night/day...but the "hazmat" team as I call them that has come in has since ripped out ALL the carpet, covered all items and furniture in plastic bags to be cleaned and ripped out all the baseboard and dry wall affected. We have at least 7 different machines running to dry, dehumidify and sanitize things for the next 4 days.