The Little Mare that Could - Dom Schramm clinic Day #1

Anyone following my blog knows that I have had my doubts about my mare's ability to jump correctly and safely. In this sport of eventing, we all know the risks and it is important to me that both my horse and I are competing at the appropriate levels ensuring some degree of safety. Even when that happens, we know accidents still happen. It has been a bit of a nagging doubt in my mind if my little ottb, who regrettably stalled in her growth spurt with her ending up croup high, could ever jump uphill.

Getting all tacked up on clinic day #1

I entered the Dom Schramm clinic in the hopes I would get more insight and tips on how to help her achieve the uphill jump more. Leading up to the Dom Schramm clinic, I was a bit nervous at whether or not signing up for the novice/training group was the right move and if it would be too much for us. Height of fences usually does not make me nervous, but going into a clinic where both you and your horse will be challenged and expected to be confirmed at that height made me worried.

 After speaking with my instructor, she reassured me that Tillie was schooling Novice height consistently at home. I also had many people reassure me that Dom always tailors his teaching to the level needed if we found we were struggling. So that made me feel a bit more at ease.

Eating as much as possible before warm up

It was extremely windy by the time we got to Cedarline Farm and I was glad I gave myself additional time to settle in. I was able to catch a good portion of the BN group riding in the outdoor ring which gave me a good idea of what we would be working on as well. I find the more I know the better I feel...you know the whole knowledge is power thing.

When it was time to get ready, Tillie came off the trailer alert and high as a kite. In the past, these antics would have gotten to me and would have caused a ball of nerves in the pit of my stomach. Despite her restlessness, I talked to her and set boundaries on what was acceptable behavior (no, swinging you butt around every other second and knocking me with your head repetitively does not constitute acceptable behavior) I planned to walk up to the indoor and give ourselves a 20-30 minute warm up to allow Tillie to settle in. I am very glad we did that because every time the wind blew Tillie would get agitated and coil up like a spring ready to explode.

So plan A of walking around on a loose rein went out the window and plan B went into effect. So we just start trotting to get her moving until she relaxed. It took some changing directions and spiraling circles to get her attention somewhat on me. She was still quite spooky and reactive 15 minutes in, but it was as good as it was going to get.

Having the history I do with her, I knew I could predict a lot of it and found comfort in knowing her so well. It was nice to know and be able to predict her reactions which usually constitutes throwing her shoulders and head around in place. It allowed me to stay relaxed and focused rather than get too fussy with her or baited into micromanaging.

When it came time to make our way to the outdoor Tillie seemed to remember she is 7 now and put on her sensible cap and walked politely, yet tensely, down to the ring around the spectators and loud speaker. We took a few laps around the outdoor to let Tillie look around as Dom went down the list introducing himself to the new riders and regrouping with those he previously knew. She spooked and dodged a few times but settled in as good as she could as nervous as she was.

I toyed with putting the pelham on her in case she got too strong, but a quick assessment of the ring size and her tendency to suck behind contact when shes nervous made me opt to go in the snaffle. I wanted to encourage a bit more weight in my reins and I was worried using the pelham wouldn't help achieve that. I did, however, have my helpers that tagged along bring it out in case I needed to switch it out.

Sorry for the long intro, but I am trying to make sure I document everything about this weekend!!!

******Make sure you watch all videos with the audio. I got the biggest kick from Dom's commentary and teaching style and it led to more footage than ever of me beaming from ear to ear********

WARM UP

Once Dom chatted briefly with each of us and our goals for the season we jumped (hehe see what I did there) right into things and warmed up over a tiny grid-like exercise to get the horses thinking about their feet placement. Dom commented how much he liked Tillie and thought she was a nice mare (eek!!).

I also think it was a good exercise for Dom to get a comfort level for how both horse and rider went and be able to see faults pretty easily:

• Trot into fences to land cantering to help develop the canter especially for those spookier, hotter or nervous horses. It helps them settle in gradually. 

• Understandably, I ride defensively because of Tillie's tendency to jump and land downhill, but Dom warned me not to sit back too soon and be against her since that will only worsen this tendency

• OTTBs or horses that have the tendency to jump over the shoulder like Tillie did the first time over this, concentrate on shoulders up taller so they CAN lift. Your shoulders match what theirs will do, so if you get too low and ahead so will they. He launched here into a discussion about OTTBs tendency to jump flat like this because their want to get to the other side of the fence and we have to try to help them read it better, ride to the base and sit tall to get a better jump. 

CAVELETTI GRIDS

Next he had us each run through a simple caveletti exercise. He mentioned he likes to do these before most of his jump schools no matter what level because it gets the horse paying more attention and thinking about their feet. I was a bit skeptical how well Tillie would do and really thought she would rush through it and build but she shocked me and did pretty well minus the lead change halfway through. Dom discussed how this exercise of the bounce - two stride - bounce - two stride - bounce is great for those that rush because they will essentially start knocking into the caveletti...and not that you want them to hit them and hurt themselves, but you do want them to feel it and not be able to easily knock them over so they learn to respect the gymnastic more. He had each of us do this until it was boring. 

• Tillie was a bit bunched on my right rein and drifting right so that caused the lead change both times. 

DIAMOND EXERCISE (LANDING ON THE CORRECT LEAD)

This next exercise was quite fun! Dom set poles out in a diamond shape around the jump so we approached the jump at an angle. Dom reassured us most horses wouldnt worry about the angle as much as we humans would think and would pretty quickly settle into this exercise without balking. The purpose of this is to jump and be able to change leads in the air rather then rely on simple or flying changes...Dom stressed he was a stickler about this because landing correct allows you to maintain a better rhythm and allows you to set yourself up better for the next fence with  more time to think about other things rather than having to get a change, risk cross cantering etc. 

Tillie did quite well going left to right, but we had a bit of a right drift problem right to left making getting the left lead a bit more challenging. Once Dom talked about riding her straighter to help get the lead better. Once I rode the turn "straighter" and more of an S shape rather so we went straight the last few strides before take off rather than off a curve she got the left lead every time!

Struggling for the left lead:

At this point he also sorta warned me about Tillie not pushing off with both hinds and taking these out of stride which means a weaker jump. He said trying to get her more to the base would help with the placement poles.

I LOVED how Dom always chuckled and laughed though and stayed encouraging through our mistakes.

DIAMOND BENDING LINE TO CLOVER EXERCISE

We then put the diamond together with a clover pattern really using twisting turns to challenge our balance, distances and leads. We had some ironing out to do after the first try:

• Notice a rollback at fence #4. We discussed how rollbacks are difficult and maintaining the forward power through these is essential to get a good jump. Dom admitted we probably wont see one in show jumping for eventing ever, but if we could manage this well the single fence jumps would be a whole lot easier. 
• I went a bit too deep into the turn in attempt to give myself more space but it ended up making the second half of the rollback more difficult for Tillie.
• He recommended to all of us to let the horse figure out the balance and think about keeping the forward, opening rein to guide them through the turn. CHIN UP!!!

CLOVER JUMP BENDING LINE TO 5 STRIDE LINE

This is where things got a bit more exciting...jumps went up slightly and at this point. At this point, Dom really seemed to become surprised and excited about Tillie's jump ability and she (ok me too) ate it up. The key seemed so be the better I was about my chin and shoulders, the better she jumped. 

I totally LOVE his side comments about her scope ;)

Dom gave us a good feedback on this round and said the beginning needed more canter and think more ground covering stride...I know I have struggled with riding this but for some reason his comment made something click and we sorta clicked into gear. Tillie was allowing the forward and really working well off my seat and leg without diving and I got braver which led to Dom yelling out "GOOD!" and "Horse has got some scope!"

He had each of us do it again, learning what we learned but put the fences up one more time and rather than feel nervous I was excited to tackle them all! 

I went into this one with a bit more forward canter knowing it is what helped us towards the end of the previous round. Tillie actually gave me flying when attempting to ask for a simple...and Dom just kept loading on the wonderfully encouraging remarks about Tillie and, in my own humble opinion, seemed to start raving about her!!! Turns out my little downhill mare, is a "better then average jumper!!"

That made my whole day (ok really more like my whole life!). 

The wind was so bad though that half the time riding you couldnt hear what he was saying unless you were close the loud speaker at the end of the ring where we warmed up in so having this video to her the commentary was really nice and an added bonus to hear them!

BIG jumps!!!

It was so much fun and really cool to meet the other riders in our groups...some who are also instructors or professionals so it felt really good that we could hold our own with the best of them with Dom sort of appeasing my fears of Tillie's jump ability. 

Stay tuned for day #2!

Twisting turns in our Saturday Jump Lesson

Well as I let on in my previous post, my Saturday jump lesson with P was definitely one to remember. I am splitting it into two parts since the actual lesson was very different from the overcoming obstacles and self doubt part.

------------------------------ Part 1 ----------------------------- 

The east coast finally had a nice thaw this weekend with Saturday being so warm I was able to wear short sleeves!!! It was so nice out in fact that it got me to rally despite my severe sore throat, no voice and ear infection to go make my lesson. I am glad I did because the more I moved and longer my antibiotics were in my system, the better I felt.

WARM UP: 

Warming up before P arrived Tillie felt happy and ready to work. She has a new "sass" habit that is much milder then her blow ups before warming up that usually entail a few whip nae naes of her head when first asking to trot or first really using any leg. Its her way of saying...yeaaaaa no I am not really wanting to do that. She also tends to do this sometimes when we first canter OR when we do a jump really well and shes happy. So its universal way of Tillie saying, I am Queen Bee and I am in charge.

Queen Bee herself looking a little bit more like a giraffe then a Queen

I am not worried about it at all and happy that this is what I ride through now over bucking and dolphining without steering. 

I cantered her both leads and really tried to work on getting some softness and a true bend through her body since I feel like shes happy to stay where ever she puts herself, but as soon as I ask for something else she gives me the whip nae naes like our first canter warm up:

Her left lead canter warm up is below and she really started understanding and letting me manipulate her a bit more:

Once P arrived, we all filed in nose to tail and did some trot over ground poles to establish a rhythm. I am noticing that seems to be a trend the last few lessons. NOTE: Tillie's tail wag in her trot in this video really makes me smile:

As you can see in the warm up video, P had quite an interesting set of jumps for us. What is really neat about the exercise is there were lots of turns making establishing a good rhythm both needed and really hard (since riding forward through turns is something I never could do before with my hot horse) BUT a lot of lead changes throughout. It required me as a rider to really plan ahead and set up Tillie to bend and use my weight and seat cues to tell her to land on the lead in the direction we would be going. Easier said then done...so after some confusion about the order of jumps we all had a turn:

So we didnt quite get the leads at first...but I really didnt catch on this was the point until after watching everyone else go after my turn (I am a visual learner, what can I say?). So the next round I decided to commit to cantering the entire thing...we almost got all the leads!!! 

I would have liked the simple change to come a bit faster and cleaner, but she was a unbalanced through the turn so it took a bit of convincing her to stop bracing to get it. Other than that this was one of better more steady, even rounds. I just love her tail flip over the oxer:

P made it a bit harder and added a new pattern with bending lines...Tillie and chipped into the first fence but recovered nicely. We also came in slightly tight to the over, but I LOVED how well she sat to jump it rather then curl under herself like she normally does. Because of this we didnt get the lead, but it didnt throw off the tempo at all. We continued and didnt get the lead again which I think was my fault not shifting my weight in time after the tight turn. After the entire thing, I really was surprised at how nice her trot was...the quality of it as well as the relaxation:

There were ALOT of us in this lesson so we didnt get to have many chances at it, but I liked that...it simulated the standing around at a show and having to wake Tillie up and say pay attention! In the past we have had issues getting our ryhthm early enough in a course. 

Ill admit, I wasnt feeling totally great about this lesson until re-watching the footage. P had said after the first round to really sink my weight down in my heels more - which I think she meant it as how to shift or change balance better to get the change, but during the lesson it sounded in my brain like an up-down remark you hear all instructors say : "heels down, sit tall"...lol. Also, P said Tillie was a bit curled and not stretching like she wants and attributed it mostly to the tight turns but softly reminded me to think about that...I guess we need to start working on longer reins and achieve this same control.

us looking more dressage here than when we ride in dressage lessons

I got home passed out and this morning watched the videos and was pleasantly surprised to see how polished we looked despite our mistakes. 

So, Part 2 to come tomorrow!! Heres to hoping my ear infection will be cleared up before then since it quite literally hurts :( 

Loch Moy - Stadium

Shockingly, stadium was our strongest phase at this event. I sadly dont have any video yet...but do have lots of photos to share!

I went into stadium way more anxious with how we went around our other two events this year. Here is the video from the second one...it doesnt look nearly as bad as it felt: Tillie flinging herself over the fences, pulling downhill and just not very adjustable.

Tillie walked into warm up with a much calmer head on her shoulders then dressage. LEAPS and bounds better even then the event from the video above where we had cantering sideways and backwards happening in warm up. I'm surprised I didnt get a yellow card honestly.

Fence #1 at Loch Moy

But she warmed up so nicely and was half halting off my seat only. We hit our stride pretty quickly and I jumped the cross trail once, the vertical twice off both lead canters and the oxer a few times because we had a few funny distances but the last two tries were lovely. I even threw in P's exercise of stopping before turning after and BARELY needed any hand at all!

WHEW!

Fence #2 - ignore my equitation, BUT LOOK AT THOSE KNEES!!! This photo makes me sigh out in relief that Tillie cant jump properly because she clearly can. Both legs are evenly pushing off, her withers are higher and she has a nice bascule.

So we waited patiently for our turn and I got more and more nervous watching the pair just before us leaping and bucking around the ring, thinking "Oh god, this could possibly be what we look like next."

Cantering around to the line for fence #3 and 4

But I started singing and before I knew it found myself over fence 1, giggling over fence 2 and putting in NINE strides between the line of fence 3 and 4 (which the photographers didnt get) that Brita and most other competitors did in 6 or 7. Thats right folks, my horse can collect!

Fence #5, bending line to 6

Fence #6 - Love the tail flick! 

**Side note** I know this stadium was not the smoothest or prettiest round, but the fact that I could adjust and add strides without yanking on her was just amazing**

After this line was a 5 stride bending line which was the hairiest part of our course...I saw a few different approaches to striding on this one and we ended up getting 6 because Tillie came in a bit hot and the most unbalanced to fence 5.

Fence #7

Fence 7 was a single square oxer which we got a bit deep to, but Tillie said no problem!

Fence 8 had an A and B and walked as a 3 stride line which is exactly what we got...but just before 8A, I has to half halt fairly hard to ask Tillie to wait so we didnt get too deep to A and only get 2 strides to B and not have enough time to land and finish at #10 (which sort of rode like an awkward bending line).

Here is the sequence to 8B where I ride a bit defensively to prep for the finish:

Me thinking holy shit this feels like shes flying

Look how tight she is in her hind end...she was not anywhere near touching the fences...

Another tail flick one! 

Then we turned for home, which many people seemed to have a bit of trouble since the jump was angled oddly towards the perimeter I think. Tillie says, no problems here!

Oh there is the left bend I was missing in dressage

Holy moly it is so apparent here my collapsing right, sitting left issue. 

Ears up ready for more! 

Confidence is a blessing and a curse (Sunday lesson recap)

My apologies on posting this soooo late, but I participated this week in a CHA certification clinic that required much more of my energy than I realized it would. I will happily post on that experience if anyone is interested, but I tend to keep this blog related to Tillie's training progress rather than my own goals in this industry (although they do somewhat overlap).

The Merriam-Webstar dictionary defines confidence as: 

: a feeling or belief that you can do something well or succeed at something
: a feeling or belief that someone or something is good or has the ability to succeed at something
: the feeling of being certain that something will happen or that something is true

Tillie sometimes is an enthusiastic overachiever in the belief at succeeding towards something. 

 I struggle with the concept of confidence when applying it to myself. I see it as both a strength and a weakness...get too confident and you may get too complacent and trusting which increases the risk for margin of error. But have too little confidence and you risk harboring tension, setting you and your horse up for self fulfilling prophecy and literally set yourself up to fail.

I am receiving Tillie dishing me a big plate of her own confidence which tends to mean a smaller plate of my own. 

Because the sport of horseback riding has two living organisms that can adapt and have brains, the confidence can fall under both the horse's confidence, as well as the rider. It can depend day by day, ride by ride or even moment by moment.

Everyone has had something make them question their faith in their ability. And everyone has also sat on that horse who shaken their confidence to the core.

By Webster's definition, I have the most ridiculously faithful confidence in Tillie (I also think I am biased so it may not be true and so I doubt my own thoughts here): I think she is talented, wickedly smart, athletic and has the most enthusiastic work ethic I have come across in any horse.

I am so tired mom, but I did good right?

Of course I think highly of her. I have put time into her, not to mention some may tears, a lot of blood and quite a bit of stress.  At this point, the time i have invested weighs on the influence of my "belief" in Tilie getting it done. ("It" being my goals as a competitive team).

Part of me questions if I am being stubborn and blind to her lack of talent - we never get raved over, recognized or praised as being above average in most cases (f anything its negative attention for doing things wrong!)

I hear fellow riders and their horses receive so much praise and it forces me to question why arent We getting it? Are we falling short?...and so the downhill decline begins.

Lesson Recap:

I went onto a C lesson feeling very defeated after our XC school in my last post. I was not only lacking confidence in me and my riding ability, but Tilile's ability to achieve what is needed jumping such solid obstacles.

Galloping like this is a perfect example of where my doubts come from

What I love about these lessons is the conversations...my comfort level to question and get into theory a bit more. I am not nearly as intimidated with this instructor. We immediately started off warming up in the canter with opening the stride and letting Tillie loose, then asking her to engage her core and come back with my seat, even if it took 15 circles. Oddly enough it was the same warm up exercise D has us do the day before XC.

Tillie responded beautifully so we began trotting fences to warm up which lead up to:

Tillie clearly things 2'11 is cakewalk.

Lessons with C are always lessons I leave feeling encouraged and strong. I can make mistakes time and time again and still fee like it was constructive. More importantly, my horse gives me the greatest feedback. She is so willing in every lesson I have had with C to the point where I think C thinks I make up some of my woes lol.

Now on to cantering the jumps as a warm up..I folded a bit too much with my upper body and miss Tillie splendidly took care of me.

I came into the lesson asking for help on my position weaknesses I have been seeing lately. I know what needs to change and could describe when I see it on anyone else, but actually applying it to myself I need help. What is neat about C lessons is she gave me a few key phrases that made sense in my brain and, VOILA, my lower leg and tense back was much improved. Not perfect, but really could feel and see a difference here in these videos. 

Another try here not leading as much with the shoulder.

After this, we moved on to jumping an oxer. Clearly I struggled with not riding enough the first time through. I struggle with this line of over riding Tillie and letting her figure it out. 

We eventually progressed to a bending line (Love how when we do these I get a more focused horse...bending + more to think about = much more engaged and happy Tillie)

First attempt at the bending line. 

Final attempt:

Weekend Recap and staying realistic

I did a lot of riding this weekend in the hopes that staying on top of Tillie, we can really get some progress. I have expressed many times my disappointment in how slow progress has been. So I am anxious to start chipping away at holes and be able to reflect back and go "wow we look totally different." I'm not sure I can say that now and mean it.

Though, I ask myself sometimes...why? I am not a professional. I am an amateur. Yes I teach beginner lessons, so I enter all my events in the rider or open divisions, but Ive never ridden past the beginner novice level before three years ago. Even then, I didnt know what I was doing and just said hmmm I'd like to try that and had an incredibly minded horse that put up with me for two events before he had to retire.

No idea why I thought it would be a good idea to get something young and green when I am also green. You know the saying right? Green + Green = Black and blue.

Luckily, Tillie and I havent had too many black and blue moments. But it has made progress slower. I have really come to a conclusion recently that I am allowed to feel sad and wallow but I must cut myself off...otherwise Ill always live in wallow land and then Tillie and I surely wont ever progress.

Ok, so on to the good stuff.

Weekend Rides Recap:

Saturday:
I dont usually jump outside of my Tuesday night lessons, but decided Tillie needs to be doing it more frequently then that. She can certainly benefit from the smaller stuff and work on making it not soooo exciting.

I thought she was really great! We started off a bit out of sync with each other, but by the end of the ride I felt we were both on the same page and she was giving me a quality canter (Which D always stresses). Although, D also has said I need work on better recognizing and feeling that canter so maybe I was off lol.

I started off warming up jumping off a circle like usual and then a mini grid was set up so tried to let her go through that to figure it out...then get her landing from that grid without tearing around.

She dropped a little over the last one...

Then I moved on to a bending line, with a change of rein to a 2'7 vertical off a turn. So if she really was listening she would be able to re-balance and the whole thing go smoothly. The first few times she got a bit excited at the bending line question, BUT it didnt feel anywhere nearly as bad as it has in the past. In fact, I felt it was totally manageable and was really proud.

I guess its all relative because then the video was commented on by a potential new trainer (Ill elaborate more on this later) and a few others I shared with it that she seemed "hot," as in a bad thing.

This was the first attempt, where yes she gets a bit forward. But like I said, I was still really excited at how she contained herself compared to previous rides. I watched back the video and stills and honestly was more horrified at my position.

It is the first time I have seen myself in this saddle and it is really apparent I have gotten used to fighting my stubben XC saddle to bring my lower leg back...Because this saddle now its ALWAYS too far back. I forsee asking help for grids for my own merit in the future.

Please ignore my terrible lower leg, BUT relish in landing
 in an uphill canter!!! HUGE WIN! 

Despite my poor form, I really thought Tillie did great. She actually wasnt diving nearly as badly as she has and that is a huge win! Mare even had flying changes!!!

We did finally get it right with me jumping this to finish:

Sunday:

I finally tried my new PF dressage saddle. I am a bit worried it is too tight on Tillie's shoulders but decided to try riding in it anyway. I do like it, but would want secondary opinions on my position in it vs my Passier. 

I was so pleasantly surprised at the willing horse I had, especially after jumping the day before. She usually gets wound so tight that shes a spinning top until we dressage for a few days in a row. I really think our C lessons are paying off! 

Potential new trainer to try:

I'd like to preface this by saying I am not eliminating or leaving any current trainers I ride with...but I feel more help for us would be a good thing lol. I am trying a new trainer this evening - Ill refer to him as N. My hopes is to use him as an additional resource as a jumping coach or even trainer for Tillie to help me where I cant help Tillie yet. 

He has already seen the videos above and pretty much said he personally doesnt compete until the horse is 100% (So admittedly I am worried he may even be more strict then D)...While I do agree, I also think she hasnt been unmanageable at shows or worse then home and getting her out there for the experience is worth it. I guess I was a bit sad hearing that because while I know we have work to do it makes me feel sooo stuck at BN. Anyway...In time right?

Ill be sure to capture some video or pics and fill everyone in tomorrow! 

One step forward Two steps back

I unfortunately have no video or picture evidence of this event (Emma you were greatly missed!)...but my lesson Tuesday night with D was just an epic fail.

We were back to being on the forehand, miss sassy pants who couldnt jump any jump sanely and in non-warp speed.

I guess the good streak had to end at some point eh?

Tillie says "I'm cute" even when I am bad

Luckily, I didnt feel like I was mortified or silently serious like past lessons...I was able to sorta joke with D after running through very hairy jump sequence after jump sequence by shouting "well that was interesting...again?"

To which he would agree and simply say yes with more leg next time. Funny how more leg seems to be the magic solution to everything. 

Our warm up was quite lovely too before he got there. She was supple, moving off both legs and walk-trot-walk transitions were on point from what I felt in recent lessons. She was light and we even did some counter flexions to test our bend in addition to slower steps back to bigger steps all while staying connected. GREAT!

She was a bit excited at the canter tracking left (her harder direction) so we reined it in and it was fine. She was perfectly calm tracking right which is right when D arrived. 

So we went right into trotting X's of the same two-stride grid Tillie owned Friday which I captured in my post: weekend recap. Well different day different horse I guess, because right away she wanted to just run through it...**at this point I havent panicked yet and simply thought ok maybe this was like the XC clinic and she'll get it out of her system**

Oh no, Tillie had different ideas.

D likes to then keeps repeating more leg and let your reins go over jumps to let her make the mistake...well easier said than done when you feel you're going to die. I understand I'm sounding melodramatic right now...but let me tell you, when your horse is diving on the forehand and lunging while at warp speed it totally feels like a face plant is about to happen OR at any moment she will suddenly leap through the air to express how unbalanced she feels. The latter being more likely. 

Pretty much exactly like this

So we went back briefly to flat work to get her off my hands and lighter since she was wanting to drag me down so much. VOILA better on the flat. He made me over exaggerate my half halts and release making it painfully obvious I dont release enough. But releasing happened and it was better. 

Soooooo we added the jumps back in....and got:

Neither I was amused or D but Tillie clearly was.

I guess then D thought maybe higher and more complicated would back her off so he then had us do a 4 stride bending line turning to come back to a 6 stride line and end on the 2 stride grid. 

Ok easier to see then describe:

Well we got over most things...but landing from the line to the 2-stride X's grid was pretty impossible with Tillie landing and then running around like an idiot...to which D finally said just add outside leg and make her do it. She needs to learn you can't always help her when she does this. 

So went through it again, got her through the 2-stride after an opinionated leap through the air and D simply saying ok...well I guess lets run it in reverse. Which, at the first fence of the bending line Tillie took a flyer and I literally had the reins on the buckle and me totally off balance. Thank god mare is honest despite her idiot self and took the second just off my leg. We landed, I said right she said Left-well ok right and I managed to stay on (which is exactly how I fell off her the last time in the SAME. EXACT. SPOT. 

Well the lesson totaled maybe 30-40 minutes and I think D just had enough. Not that I was complaining...it was awful. I apologized at least 3 times for him having to witness that. To which we actually had a conversation about why we were experiencing the inconsistency. 

His theory: the footing. My theory: way too many to list here which may or may not include questioning my horse's sanity.

Anyway, he said with all the rain we have had its been fairly wet sand in our ring which is easier to grip and heavier in a good way which explains her greatness lately. Tuesday it was very dry, and light which he said skids out from under them causing much  more muscle fatigue promoting getting on the forehand. Imagine us running in dry sand on the beach. PLUS the depth of footing is inconsistent - some areas deeper than others and in those areas when Tillie slides or loses the grip she answers with a flying leap of protest. 

Basically the most ridiculous, illogical thing ever.

I am still stuck two days later though on such the big step backwards...and something as silly as footing. Tillie clearly is a diva...but is footing that hugely an issue? If it is, what on earth am I doing trying to make her an event horse. In D's opinion he said it was CLEAR she didnt like the footing. Meanwhile, I have a few ideas.

1. I think she is in heat so a bit less focused and wound up
2. Footing...shes always had issues with slipping, but this sand footing is a new enlightenment 
3. Tired from the 3 rides in a row jumping (I dont typically jump so much but it just happened it fell in the cards that way with lessons)
4. Shes a diva (or just an idiot)
5. It's something I do when riding in front of D

Number 5 I should have listed higher because I think it could easily be the case. I tend to get nervous before lessons with D in general so I am sure I am more tense or something...which is a shame. I love and hate how hard his lessons are...but mostly love how they are so educational for both me and Tillie. Not just for me. But they have also been more on the hairy side like this last Tuesday conditioning my brain to go into *holy shit grab and hold on* mode.

Anyway...I have avoided riding again out of fear my happy bubble I have worked so hard to build will burst. AND because it was my wedding anniversary. More importantly my wedding anniversary...

Eventually Ill need to get back on...until then the pondering continues. 

Weekend recap

Tillie and I had one more lesson going into this weekend. I left this one feeling satisfied and still in good spirits! Which right now, feeling accomplished and good after a ride is the ultimate goal.

Luckily for me, Tillie has been on point and allowing me to concentrate more on me. She has been far surpassing my expectations and all of my trainers lately it seems! 

Tillie says this is easy!

So this Friday we did a gymnastics lesson that Tillie totally ate up while we focused more on my form. I really struggle with dropping her at the last second and something with my body over the last fence that instantly makes Tillie go wild. 

I still see stiffness in my shoulders and butt not back enough which indicates a weak core.

So we worked on me staying taller and hands staying off her neck to get out of that safety blanket. I am still hunching/collapsing in my core...so I having a hard time finding the balance between staying taller in my body and folding at the hip as well as not sitting too soon for landing. 

I guess it doesnt look too bad...lol but I have faith we will keep improving.

Some videos from the end:

Yesterday our farm hosted a fun Combined training show and I decided afterwards to sneak in a ride. I jumped around the Novice course and was just smiling like a big kid...Miss Tillie jumped everything no questions, slices, bending lines...whatever I threw at her. She ate it up and it feel easy and fun. WOOOO!!! there was a time jumping her was slightly nightmarish...heavy on the marish. So just getting on a schooling like it was no big was refreshing and again a huge help to keeping my confidence on track.

Lessons lessons and more lessons

This post will be long so I apologize in advance.

The last few days has been a flurry of activity for Tillie and I, mostly because I reached a point of no return and simply needed a lesson before I rode again without eyes on me....At least I felt that way.  Riding alone has been frustrating to say the least - Not to any fault of Tillie's, but rather me trying to recreate what I learn and feel in a lesson. It is so hard to do when someone isn't there nagging you pushing the limits (but really shouting at me to correct my rouge right hand).

It started Thursday evening when I rode and just got so in my head and frustrated I had to stop. We suddenly lost our downward transition from canter to trot...We have been really drilling doing these just off my seat and staying through. Instead, she reverted back to doing the tightening spinning top thing and not stepping under herself. She would just canter this itty bitty (albeit lovely) canter instead.

So I just threw one of my students on Tillie in a lesson afterwards. Seeing her go sometimes helps me (don't worry it was all for selfish reasons, this student really learns a lot off Tillie)

My fire breathing dragon trucking around a kid over fences just as cool as a cucumber! 

And to my pleasant surprise Tillie stepped right up and told on my student's mistakes without being mean or malicious or scary or sassy...etc and the many more things I could list she has done in the past. She even popped over a small vertical without running, diving or bolting. Yayyyyyy Tillie!

That at least made me feel a little better. Nothing like seeing some buttons we have been working on actually working with someone other than me.

Lesson #1 - Dressage

So I promptly scheduled a lesson for myself and Tillie to solve this mental block and frustration for Friday the next day. I trailered out to C (just using first initials of trainers here) for a second try with a lesson with her after feeling slightly disappointed in the first.

I was not disappointed this lesson and got some really nice and soft moments where Tillie felt really just unlocked. The goal is to start getting her activating and unlocking the muscles at the base of her neck and withers. It was also nice to hear her say she did see some improvement since the July 4th lesson and could tell an overall difference in both Tillie and me (Especially my lower back).

She had me ride with a dressage whip since Tillie was a bit more dead to my leg and shockingly better tracking left and softer that direction. Silly horse...anyway the whip really pointed out and helped me with my right hand issue. So homework is to ride with a whip (to Tillie's dismay I am sure).

Tillie was quite please with herself after our dressage lesson.

I still need work on keeping my leg down and long when using it which seems to be the next thing on my list ;) We did a lot of work on the canter transition and getting her to JUMP into it. We also did basic leg yielding really focusing on keeping her straight in them and coming out of them with more step in the trot and not just losing steam in the process of doing them.

Lesson #2 - XC Clinic

D riding one of the horses in the clinic to help get a point across to the horse.

Saturday we geared up and drove to this gorgeous facility for my other trainer D's XC Clinic. I was nervous all morning watching the others go dreading if Tillie would pull her old antics, cross her jaw and just dive and be silly after fences. The last time I did a XC lesson with D, I fell off twice. Yes you read that correctly - TWICE in an hour. I wanted to die of mortification.

Anyway, the first few warm up fences, she absolutely was bracing and diving after fences and I felt myself sort of go "oh crap" as D kept hollering to let go, use less hands and more leg. UGH the dreaded more leg fixes all...except leg on doesnt always make Tillie soften yet. So after a very enthusiastic finish that involved bolting up the hill after the first set of fences D sent us away to time out and just go let her run it out.

So we came back and with each fence we started to get a groove. We schooled some bending lines over roll tops, canter down hills (did I mention how much I HATE downhill?!), ditches, banks - up and down and finally water jumps.

The water was by far my favorite!

Lesson #3 - More dressaging 

Sunday morning companion.

So Sunday I went ahead and had the other C come for a lesson as Tillie was barely winded after XC schooling and figured some dressage the day after a hard day would help us push through her limits.

Right away she commented how much improved Tillie's walk looked and overall seemed happy, relaxed and had better improved muscling in more correct areas. She kept reminding me to carry my hands and watch that silly right hand which gets grabby both directions **sigh**. Homework - work on giving with the right rein only without locking the left.

We also rode with a dressage whip which Tillie instantly changed her demeanor in good and bad ways...but decidedly went OK and worked well.  We worked on the walk to trot transition and did some leg yielding in the canter to work on softening and getting a bigger step. VOILA our canter to trot transitions were back!

The most interesting exercise we did that helped unlock Tillie's withers and shoulders was to ask her on a small 15m circle to bring her shoulder in (trying not to use the inside rein - guiding only) with the outside rein but pushing and using the inside leg to get her to step over and fill the outside. I needed to be better about closing and supporting the outside rein and once I did she did it well.

It decided to downpour in the middle of the lesson despite no clouds to be seen in bright sun.
Very odd, but kinda cool outside the getting soaked part. Trainer commented it would prep us for our first 2*
at FH! Not that we will ever get there ;)

My looming Lameness worries

The only slight worry I have is she kept tripping up/mis-stepping on her right hind in the Sunday lesson a handful of times. She was sound in the lesson, but C commented to watch that....and that is all I need to hear to get worried and frantic.

I always worry about her soundness and that leg is the fretted cellulitis one she protects and had residual higher lameness issues last year as a result. Strengthening work helped it go away and be nonexistent - until yesterday.

I am hoping she was just a bit tired from the sudden burst of lessons which are making her work correct and she was just tired. I did some stretches with her and today she gets a well deserved day off.

Conclusion 

Tillie has blossomed this summer and, dare I say it, finally grown out of the terrible toddler phase of protesting, sass and just silly nonsense she used to pull under saddle. It quite definitely is still in there, but our rides lately has been more on the spur and kick ride. She is very much a pull ride majority of the time, but she's finally learning running around and speeding through aids gets nowhere.

I actually the last two rides in the sandbox have need a dressage whip!!! Oh boy does tillie not like that!

Between the clinic and lessons I realized I had pleasant rides from her without needing to push buttons too terribly hard because of protesting. She went on and off the trailer each day nicely, stood nicely on the trailer and just in general acted like a seasoned show horse.

Who knows maybe we are getting somewhere!