Being able to ride through the not so great rides...

We all have highs and lows...and for me I am sorta moving towards a down swing to a low :( In addition to saddle fitting woes, which I am sure doesnt help me mentally with my rides knowing they dont fit, we just arent quite jiving on the flat. Over fences we are doing ok...nothing amazing, but nothing worrisome either.

Our best jump from our lesson last week

Right around the fix a test, I felt like Tillie and I couldnt be stopped. She felt great and we felt really in tune with each other. I actually felt like I could ride her forward without worrying about bracing or rushing.

Still from the fix a test

Not sure what is going on, but since then we had a ton of rain and an extreme cold front, even with the warm weather back and the footing dry she doesnt feel quite right.

I remember riding her early last week in the wet footing a day or two after the fix a test and said out loud to my barn mates, "She seems off and keeps tripping, does she look off?" Everyone didnt see anything too alarming and I shrugged it off as the crummy footing that was uneven, VERY wet and sinking in pretty awful in a few areas.

Riding her later that week when it was dry we hopped around over some stuff and she felt ok, I thought I felt some offness again when switching diagonals, but nothing that didnt even out so I rode anyway. I did poultice her up to be safe though but both legs felt ice cold despite it being a warmish day.

Adorable face

Our lesson with P Saturday in the extreme cold and rain/sleet/snow I really didnt notice it and P didnt because she never said anything....and she will if she sees something. I did however feel a less happy tillie when trying all the new saddles than I had the weekend before trying saddles, but again just thought maybe it was from all the poking and prodding and changing of saddles.

I had a student ride her Sunday and they both did a nice job and I didnt see any shortness or stiffness. When I rode her earlier this week though and still felt like things were off I decided we needed a C dressage lesson and felt like we were waaaayyyy overdue. Emma agreed she seemed slightly short right hind, but we both rode and finished on a decent note, but that comfortable forward feeling we have had was no longer there. So I begged C to fit us in.

On a brighter note, loving my rig!

I was a bit stressed to get there in time...trying to make it after a work day is tough and it was made tougher when the road to get to the barn was closed. It also happens to be the same road to get to the barn to C's barn. But we detoured and I managed not make it too late.

I fill C in about our fix a test and what I have been feeling lately which is the C magic is fading and I need to get back to that point. She laughed and we started off with a bit more time in the walk. We took our leg off and relaxed asking for more walk, then leg on asking for smaller steps. Tillie has started rooting again and being rude since my last ride and C really scolded me to get after her for that since I tend to ignore it.

We picked up a trot and C instantly said Tillie looked off :( She had me switch my diagonals back and forth and it was by far the most drastic I have felt...she had me trot away from her and change direction a few times and agreed right hind looked short.

She had us keep trotting and remarked even her left hind wasnt quite as active and in general she wasnt bending her hocks as much as usual and was kicking up a lot of footing. She asked if she was due for a trim and I am embarrassed to admit she is WAY overdue. My farrier, as great as he is, is quite hard to schedule so figured I could push Tillie a bit to get him on the same rotation as a few others in the barn to make life easier. C said being a sensitive red head mare, she could be reacting to that and being right hind is our weaker leg its just more prominent there, but her toes are too long which she thinks may be the issue.

In the summer she gets done every 4-5 weeks. Winter we can push it a bit, but I think its been quite a while since her last trim so I am hopeful when she is done weds this will resolve this issue.

I am really trying not to fret about it...but I am signed up for a clinic with Dom Schramm next weekend and reallllly dont want a kinda lame horse.

Just too cute

Anyway, we chatted a bit about my saddle fitting woes and maybe trying pentosan for preventative maintenance and off we went to more trotting.

Tillie eventually evened out and felt MUCH better than she has lately but she kept losing her left shoulder to the outside when tracking right and falling in/leaning in on the left when tracking right. **SIGH** horses.

C had us come in and trot the smallest circle we could and then ride straight out and bigger trot to a 20m circle. Poor Tillie struggled tracking right, but tracking left she was quite easy. We did some quick leg yields to get her limbered even more and worked on the same idea from the walk, big trot - slow trot - big trot.

Tired Tillie after our first bath of the year! 

Then we moved on to sitting trot and I felt like it could ride it a tiny bit better without feeling like a moron. We did the same exercise of big trot little trot using my core and a lightbulb moment happened when C said think of pulling my belt buckle up to my sternum. Also think of the "j" motion my seat bones make and keep the bounce but make the curve of the "j" smaller to keep the activity in the trot.

Tillie did this well and gave a 5-10 good active small steps before it would get too flat. C said def do this for homework, but be careful to make sure it was a good trot and not flat so dont do the small trot for too many steps in a row.

poor croup high Tillie makes this dressage stuff that much harder

Then from the small trot C had us ask for canter which C wasnt quite expecting it to happen...Tillie did a head flick into it but she did it! We did this a few times both directions and C kept saying how hard it is and was impressed how much Tillie was trying and doing it. Left lead canter we had a bit of crooked issues from me that once I fixed, Tillie fixed.

So seems like both of us need some adjusting. I am sure we will be fine, its just tough to feel good about things at the moment. I am sorta guarded...but its tricky because these times are when I find my motivation waivers when I need to be riding her more even if its just a hack - motion is lotion as Emma says ;).

The Anniversary of why I am a worry warrior

On this very day two years ago, marks the event that has turned me into the worry warrior that I am today...call it PTSD or neurosis but either way it scarred me for life. I had two horses injured at one point before this and was all "they'll be fine" and took it all in stride, but for whatever reason, this event did me in.

Tillie was depressed and lethargic when I got there...so imagine my alarm when my
bright eyed and usually nutty OTTB was acting this way even after being stalled for 24 hours.

I worked a full day of work when I was driving home and got a call from a barnmate. They said Tillie's leg was swollen...and I should call me vet because she was non weight bearing and had a high fever. As I said, I have had injuries before, but this was the first potential career ending or worse yet life ending injury.

So one panicked call to my vet later he was on his way while I cold hosed her leg which looked even worse then I imagined.

Holy moly fat leg batman

The crazy thing is, we had just had a snow storm, so everyone was in stalls all night and day so I was not sure how on earth she could have done such a number on herself. I start rattling off all the possible things it could be and literally felt like I couldnt breath...after all I only have had Tillie at this point since July - roughly 7 months.

Tucked away just after being poked and prodded all night.

The vet came and right away administered bute and banimine as well as antibiotics as well as tapped the joint fluid to check for a joint infection...it was too swollen to ultrasound, but we xrayed to rule out any breaks. Basically it turned into a waiting game..if she wasnt any better by the next day to clinic we would go as well as wait for the joint fluid results.

Where the joint fluid was pulled

I was up and at the barn by 4am with Tillie still a bit under the weather...and I couldnt wait to take a look at her.  I breathed a slight sigh a relief...the swelling was down slightly. Not great, but she was walking on it slightly better..still hobbling on it, but wanting and willing to move.

The next day...still depressed, but more mobile.

 Called my vet and he gave us our orders to sit tight and wait: So we pressed on to another day with orders to cold hose and DMSO and wrap 2x a day. Side note: my vet was phenomenal through this case...he really did answer and ASK for me to call him all hours of the day with updates and texts, videos and pictures. I didnt blog yet so ALL of these pictures were to send to him for updates.

The swelling seemed stagnant the next few days which continued to worry me. Luckily some worries were assuaged when we got the results that the joint fluid was clear with no infection...it just begged the question what on earth this was all from. At this point my vet started throwing around cellulities but kept saying it was just odd the swelling was being so persistent.

The next day:

Still giant :( so my vet planned to come out and do a regional profusion where he basically used a tourniquet  below her stifle and then pumped IV antibiotics directly into her leg for close to an hour. She was already taking oral antibiotics and banimine, plus got another shot of Exceed (i think) - thick peanut butter like antibiotic. At this point I started her on rantidine to help with digesting all the bute and SMZs.

Day three after the initial event:

Her skin was starting to crack and peel in some areas from the pressure from the swelling so we combated that to prevent further infection and did the first overnight sweating of the limb - DMSO  plus Furacin saran wrapped under a standing bandage.

I could hardly believe the improvement the next morning! We were cleared after this to start hand walking a few laps and now she was at least standing without pointing the limb and only a 3/5 lameness.

The vet had me only cold hose in the morning and no longer DMSO since she was starting to show scurfing and irritation, but it was progress. So he had us do another overnight sweat:

It was getting there, but the hock was still retaining ALOT of swelling that my vet seemed a bit perplexed about. He decided to keep having us hand walk and if she could remain calm, try limited hour long turn out in the round pen so she could move a bit more and see if more movement would help. 

So I would go every day before work at 4am to rewrap it and administer meds to make sure she ate them and again after work to cold horse or sweat the limb, hand walk her and then turn her out while I cleaned her stall and set it up for the next 24 hours. 

Tillie was much brighter and eating more.

My vet must have not been 100% confident in movement working, so he decided to come out and do an ultrasound...the first of many of the next few weeks. I started to worry again more since we were improving in many ways but the swelling still just wasnt going anywhere. I started researching other treatments and purchased a hand held cold laser therapy machine that was the correct strength for horses and added that to our routine BUT it seemed to drastically help!

Looks kind of like this

Some definition coming back t the limb but the hock still huge.

 My vet still couldnt find anything depsite all the ultrasounding and finally referred me to go to a specialist since he was concerned he was missing something.

Notice her skin funk and scurfing from all the touching, prodding, cold hosing.

So The next day I packed up a trailer and off we went to our local hospital. It was my first time hauling by myself and it was terrible not having anyone there. Plus Tillie wasnt nearly as good at loading she she is now so it was stressful all around.

Tillie waiting to go to the clinic.

 More sedation and alcohol on the leg for ultrasounding...poor things leg was so dry from it all I wasnt sure how much more it could take. The specialist spent some time on the phone with my vet and looked over the xrays and all in all said it was just a weird case, BUT it was cellulitis and just keep doing what we are doing and even start building up to turn out. He prescribed previcox to get her off the bute and give her stomach a break and told me go home and turn her out for a few hours and just watch her in case she got too excited.

Way to stay calm Tillie

Well she didnt exactly stay calm, but she was fine by the time she was still enough for me to catch her.

Random note: the fact that I can remember this all two years later is a testament to how much this all scarred me. 

We had another snow storm looming and now Tillie was starting to feel better she started getting a bit rowdy in her stall...5 yr old OTTB on stall rest for a few weeks = crazy town. She would start losing it whenever she heard me coming knowing I was the one feeding her and letting her get out of the box. 

FEEEEED ME.

Weirdo licking the stall door.

So yea, stall licking was happening alot so I started her on electrolytes and a salt block in her food bowl which she never failed to throw it out into her bedding and bury it somewhere. This also marks when we attempted to move her stall next to another horse on stall rest to see if it would help calm her down but it only made them kick and fuss at each other all day...so we moved them a stall apart so they could see each other but not make contact. 

because bandage bows happen when kicking happens

So yea...a minor set back from the bandage bow from it slipping from her kicking. But moving them and ace did the trick. At least for a period of time...She started losing weight from all the stress, but also she started going through a growth spurt. (can anyone say bum high!?)

We built up to a few hours out each day in a small paddock and while Tillie wasnt exactly good about staying calm, she managed to keep herself out of trouble. That is until a few days into turn out her leg was much larger again...coincidentally after the snow started to melt and there was mud, so my vet though a relapse :(

See Mom I am being good!

Not to keep boring everyone with details but it was a long process...I moved her from this facility for a while to one of my trainers and was a working student for a while thinking that would at least educate me more while on the sidelines.

So we settled in there and finished out rehabbing and working up to full turn out....it wasnt without its ups and downs.

just after stepping off the trailer

This is about the time Tillie discovered she was a fire breathing dragon...below is a still frm a video I was taking for my vet to show progress.

We started back into light work after another month...but she continued to come in with random injuries and had lingering swelling in the limb for quite some time. She was still not 100% sound even after moving her to the facility we are at now (where I teach lessons and much closer to home). The entire summer of 2015 was spent battling this lameness and trying to figure out if it was related or not (right hind was not stepping under her as much as the left).  

Here is some from her in April.

soooo much poulticing

Looks who started gaining weight and evening back out!

June starting back into work:

and a puncture wound....setting us back about a week again.

Then we moved to where we are now and after a few more weeks off  from what we thought was suspensory strain in that same leg....and DMSO....I could RIDE!!! ALLL smiles :)

So ultrasounds showed nothing, and the residual lameness my vet had us tackle it by putting on hind shoes, a slow build up back into full work (like so slow) and pentosan. Its been slow but shes been SOUND. I make this part of the story sound less stressful then it was. But I was told to ride my horse and see what happens....so every ride I was asking people does she look ok? for fear of it getting worse or not getting better.  

She has been off the pentosan now for a full year (I took her off last winter) but her hind shoes are still on. You guys have since heard what we have been up to since then...Now I get to worry about normal training things like her trying not to kill me and while I get upset and down sometimes on where we are, I always am soooooo grateful I have a horse that is ride-able. 

winter 2015